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Thread: This is nuts...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    33

    Default This is nuts...

    I have an 8 week old and she is just screaming her head off all day. I try to feed and she won't latch. And when she does she only takes a little bit and then done. She doesn't want to be held or laid down, in the swing or the bouncer. We have tried walking and a binki, which i have never done before but she seems to be ok with it. And we only use it at night. She has been a little gassy today but nothing more than usual. It really just seems like nothing i am doing is right at this point in time. I had pumped 10 oz and she has drank all of that in the past 2 nights even with me pumping each morning. But last night she drank 4 oz then was still hungry at 6 am and i haven't been able to pump at all today. She seems like when she gets to sleep that if she is woke up she won't go back to sleep and she just screams. She has also been drooling a lot. I am pretty sure that it is way to early for teething. I know i am thinking of everything and just ready to loose my mind. I can't focus on anything, probably from only 30 mins of sleep. But both my husband and i have tried and are trying everything we can think of. I do not want to use formula, i mean i really don't. But i'm getting very frustrated at myself. I would think with her being my 7 child I should be able to figure out what is wrong with her. However the only difference is, she is the first one that is breastfeeding. Please help... I need it. Even if its just take a deep breath and walk away and try to calm down.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    855

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    dear laura 10,
    You have come to the right website to express your frustrations! you deserve a lot of support for deciding to do something new and different. mothering a breastfed baby is a new task for you even though you are a pro at mothering! It takes a special kind of bravery to do things so radically different.
    i hope you will be able to meet up with other breastfeeding mothers
    and swap ideas and tips on how to make it all work out.
    Breastfed babies nurse every 2-3 hours, breastfed babies ingest about 2-3 ounces per feed,
    if a baby can not latch then breastfeeding moms express every 2-3 hours to stimulate a plentiful milk supply. breasts should not be overly filled with milk for extended periods of time b/c that signals the body to slow down production.
    I also needed my own private time out when the baby's crying exhausted me.
    i put my lo in her crib and went into the kitchen to have a good crying jag of my own. I felt better afterwards.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    2,313

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    Hi mama! That sounds very frustrating! .

    Don't give up one trying to get her to latch. Keep offering.

    How long has this behaviour been going on? Does she have a fever? maybe she's getting a cold or an ear infection? Something that would make her uncomfortable? I'm just brainstorming here.

    Have you tried wearing her in a sling or a wrap? Sometimes the snugness helps.
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    I only have 4 kids, and I think each baby comes to us with its own personality. Some are just a bit tougher than others.

    I'd keep trying and trying, but I'm wondering if this baby could have some level of reflux.

    When I'm done and can't handle much more, I hand baby to daddy and go for a walk for a few minutes, then come back and try again.

    It will get better. All of mine have had these weird days where it was just a hard day for them, both bottlefed and nursed, and then the next day, things were much better. Hope you woke up with a happy baby!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    Well my husband works in the evening, cause i typically give her to him and let him try for a few so i don't get so frustrated. It was just a rough day all together yesterday. My son has adhd and started a high dose of his med and just refused to lay down. He only had 6 hours of sleep in 2 days. Then my twins and 9 month old are teething and screaming cause they needed to be held and comforted, and also one of my 3 year olds just wont potty train. I have tried everything, she was almost broke only a few accidents here and there and now she just will pile a mound of clothes up and pee on them. She has been doing this for a couple of months and just refuses to stop. My other 3 year old came home from her fathers from the weekend and has been telling me i'm a mean mommy and she wants to go and live with him. So from not having much sleep and dealing with all of that on top of my baby screaming trying to make sure she is taken care of. She was so tired from everything going on yesterday that she finally just passed out at 9 pm. She had 1 feeding in the night but she slept all night long. She was really tired. She ate again at 730 this morning and seems very awake. But she has been very gassy lately. She also goes a couple days without pooping. So i don't know if she just needs to have a poop cause her gas smells horrible. But this isn't uncommon with her. When she does poop she has at least 2 or 3 in one day. And they are full.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    Probably not the poop. BF babies don't get constipated. Even though their gas can be stinky.

    Maybe baby was picking up on the stress....that sounds really quite rough

    I also have an almost 3 year old who won't use the potty and my oldest has ADHD.

    Any chance of finding a mother's helper? Or is there anyone who can come over and help for a few hours once or twice a week?
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    I have also been watching a 10 year old girl and she is a big help with just playing with the kids. He mom has been in and out of the hospital and so she hasn't been coming over, and the kids are getting bored. I try to have some friends come over and help, but they don't really do much. They won't play with my kids, or change a diaper, sounds like i need some new friends..lol. But not a lot of people will come over cause of my son. He drives everyone crazy, cause he just won't slow down. He constantly runs. He is finally on meds to help him rest but they don't keep him asleep and the lack of sleep means the worse he is. It is pretty much just me and my husband. The girl that would watch my kids, just broke her ankle and had surgery yesterday. So she is out of the question. My son has made 3 babysitters quit after 3 hours. I'm not talking 3 separate babysitters, i'm talking we had 3 babysitters at once and they all quit while my husband and i were working. This is why i had to quit my job. We have tried to make new friends and they all seem to come over and then just leave and we don't hear from them again. Its not because we aren't nice people, its because people can't handle our lifestyle. We need help but just can't seem to find any good help, and we can't afford any help. Which as bad as it sounds, we try to make friends cause we just can't afford anyone.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oh FFS!
    Posts
    10,008

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    You can try Meetup.com to meet moms with similar kids. Do you guys get outside regularly? Maybe just sitting outside at a park to nurse the LO (sorry, I'm a big NIP proponent) and let the older one run.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    We live in town now, whereas we use to live in the country. We don't have anyway to get to a park, since we only have 1 vehicle that can only hold 3 kids. Which would be the 3 older ones. We have been trying to get a van, but money is really tight. But yes we want to take the kids to the park as much as we can.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: This is nuts...

    My youngest was the same way for the first...oh...46ish days? It was ridiculous to me as well, being that my first was so easy and I thought I had this parenting thing down pat.
    I am fully convinced that I was sent this fussy, high needs baby to remind me that I don't know jack! What a humbling/heartbreaking/frustrating experience.

    There are a few things I would recommend. www.askdrsears.com has some lovely articles on dealing with a high needs baby. Knowing that other people experience the same things made me feel so much better.

    Some things that worked for us, at least temporarily:
    Standing with her in a warm shower
    Wearing her in a carrier while vacuuming
    Lots and lots of white noise and swaddling*-this was most helpful when she got so upset she wouldn't nurse. For the first few months babies have the moro (startle) reflex. Something I learned with this one is that when babies cry hard, they set off that reflex, which in turn upsets them so they cry harder, startle again, etc. making it really hard for them to calm. Even though it may seem to upset them at first, swaddling will help immensely because it interrupts that pattern.
    White noise-LOUD. They have to be able to hear it over their screaming. We use www.simplynoise.com because our computer is hooked up to our sound system.

    If you still find yourself at a loss, I always recommend Dr. Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block. Netflix has the DVD available. That DVD saved my sanity. We no longer have a witching hour-if I get her set up with his methods she sleeps right through it. If not...she screams.
    Hope this is helpful. Don't give up, it gets better
    ERF, EH and sometimes a bit of a mom to my 5 yo Monkey and the Calico baby

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