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Thread: Frustrated

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    418

    Default Frustrated

    Hello Mama's

    We are having some issues establishing our nursing relationship. W was very tongue confused when he was born and we have been working on teaching him to not keep it on the roof of his mouth.

    It is getting very frustrating and I am feeling like a failure. It is ehausting and depressing. We have been using the finger feeder with my BM. W is just way happier after he eats with that. He cries and cries after we nurse and is calm and happy after we use the FF.

    We have been trying for almost an hour 8-10 times a day and pumping a few times, I am only getting 10-20 ml at a time on the pump (My milk started to come in Wednesday night).

    I am open to advice if you have it. I am not sure what else to do, and I dont want to EP.
    I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.

    The love of my life, Wyatt 8-28-11 AKA the little dude

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Frustrated



    Are you seeing an IBCLC? You probably need more hands-on help.

    And this may sound stupid...but will he nurse with a nipple shield? He might like the firmer texture, latch on better, like to your finger and then you can supplement at the breast if needed.

    And you don't want to hear this, but to keep your supply while you aren't nursing, you gotta pump more

    You are not going to EP. Just fix that in your brain.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,805

    Default Re: Frustrated

    I agree with Susan -- go get some hands on help -- I think that'll not only get you on the right track, but help you relax a little bit. And he's only a few days old Mama -- EVERYHTING can be frustrating in the beginning, and really, for some people, NOTHING seems easy. I was one of those . Your body is going through so many hormonal changes. I remember feeling like a failure because my baby got sick in the beginning and I felt like it had to be something i did wrong. Anyway, not to ramble. I just wanted to assure you that the feelings you're having are pretty common, and I bet you can get together with an IBCLC (not all hospitals have them, and quite frankly I found my hospital's lactation consultant to be utterly annoying and unhelpful.)
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    SW Ohio
    Posts
    3,133

    Default Re: Frustrated

    I also wanted to encourage you to spend lots of time skin to skin with your baby... if you can, try to just hang out topless with baby on your chest, or maybe wear him in a ring sling while you are topless... it will encourage him to nurse whenever he wants, and for him to know that the breast is a happy place to hang out. It will also encourage your milk supply to increase even more.

    I was also wondering... have you had him evaluated for possible tongue tie? You mention he isn't using his tongue properly when nursing, so tongue tie popped into my head. I know when my LO nurses, he actually sticks his tongue out over his lower teeth. I'm pretty sure that's the right way to do it. Also make sure your LO's lips are flanged out like "fish lips." I know even to this day, Mason is 22 months old, but he still sometimes sucks his lip under, so I just kinda lift his lips up to reposition them, without unlatching him.

    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    2,005

    Default Re: Frustrated

    If you can't get in touch with an ibclc or even if you do I would also recommend getting in touch with your local LLL leader. Give yourself and your lo a chance to figure things out. It can be frustrating in the beginning and i know it is hard to keep trying when you are physically exhausted.
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


    Find a local LLL leader

    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

    The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved."
    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Frustrated

    How is it going?
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Frustrated

    I have seen 2 ibclc's. They were helpful but we are still having issues and now my nipples are so sore I can barely nurse. It hurts so bad. Both LC's said that we have a good latch now. Since my milk came in all W wants to do is nurse. It is a bit much, he is latched for most of the day. I only get a break when he sleeps. It makes me wonder if he is getting enough.
    I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.

    The love of my life, Wyatt 8-28-11 AKA the little dude

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Far away
    Posts
    2,448

    Default Re: Frustrated

    The sore nipple thing is hard to tough out because of the pain but I promise you, it will most likely pass in a few weeks. Myself, Karen and a few other mamas I know IRL had to deal with some major pain the first 3-5 weeks. What measures are you taking right now to alleviate it?
    Andrea - mama to Laith 02.20.07 and Sommer 01.21.11
    'Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.' - Noam Chomsky

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Frustrated

    Also, just nursing a lot by itself is probably not a sign that he is not getting enough. DS2 was the same way, he only ever just wanted to nurse all the time and he would only sleep with someone holding him, and he was gaining a lot of weight so getting plenty. How are his diapers? Has he been weighed yet since he's been born?
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Frustrated

    Is he having enough wet and poopy diapers? Can you do a weigh before and after a feed? Those things might help you ease your mind as to whether or not he's getting enough.

    That said, a couple of mine were latched all.day.long. And the one I've bottlefed, this fourth baby, spent his first months attached to a bottle. I was literally going nuts with that.

    The sore nipples...mine are super painful, even with a perfect latch, for the first 7-10 days. Then it goes away. If you've been nursing longer than that, could you have thrush?
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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