Ouch indeed! Not sure what to do about #1, but as for #2, there are two ways to handle it:
1. Put up with it. The longer you leave milk unused in the breast, and the more milk you leave there, the faster engorgement generally diminishes and disappears. (And no, this will no decrease the amount of milk available during the day!)
2. Express, but do the minimum necessary to restore comfort. Pumping or better yet hand expressing a modest amount of milk will slow the diminishment process somewhat, but it won't derail it the way pumping/expressing until empty will.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"