Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Should I continue to try?

  1. #1

    Default Should I continue to try?

    My son is 11 wks old and breastfeeding has been very rough for us. I guess you could say he was a bit of a barracuda, never gently taking to the breast. The latch-on pain was so intense and one of my nipples got a huge crack, that I just couldn’t take it anymore. I started pumping breast milk around the third week. Even though it was painful, however, I couldn’t quite give up nursing so I would pump and nurse just to give my nipples a break. Some days I would pump more, some days I would nurse more. It seemed to work out okay for a brief period, but then I ran into a snag around the 5th week. My son started to sputter and gag when he nursed (especially the right breast). And I noticed that when he would unlatch the breast was spraying milk in his face. Then he started to refuse to nurse. He would start out okay, but after a couple of minutes he would unlatch and start to scream. He is extremely colicky and has acid reflux (which he is currently being treated for). I did some reading and found out I have issues with forceful letdown (and I guess oversupply, but I’m not sure if that is the case...when I pump on the right side I pump 3 to 4 oz and the left side is 2 to 3 oz.)

    From that point on, I would simply pump. However, I would try at least once a day to nurse. I’ve tried several things based on advice from people:

    1.) a nipple shield
    2.) nursing lying down or in a reclining position
    3.) pumping just past my initial letdown
    4.) unlatching him when I feel letdown happening and use a cloth until the breast stops spraying

    I would try feeding him from one breast at a time, or even block nursing, but he won’t nurse. He will drink for a couple of minutes and then start to SCREAM...he’ll latch and unlatch and latch on and scream some more.

    I guess my question is this: am I being selfish to want to breastfeed? I say to myself that it’s what is best and he acts like he wants to nurse. As soon as he starts to get hungry he’ll gum at my shirt. Should I just mourn this part of our relationship and move on...just exclusively pump and focus on all the other wonderful things about our relationship?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    This is definitely a personal decision. There are definitely mommas out there who pumped for a long time but continued to try to nurse and then at some point later were able to directly breastfeed. Have you been to a LLL meeting it would be helpful to have someone watch the feeding I would suggest either a football hold or Koala hold (baby sitting on lap facing mom legs straddling) Because the baby is more upright and might be able to to manage the overactive let down. You could maybe focus on the side that has less to see if he can cope with that. Does he always cry because of let down? Its difficult because once they have gotten used to the bottle they are used to constant flow so they cry during a let down and they cry if nothing is coming out yet. Another suggestion is to do a lot of skin to skin maybe try laid back nursing there is a page in the toolkit from the Womanly art of Breastfeeding. It gives the baby more control and also the baby is on his stomach at an angle so might help with the forceful flow issue. You are definitely not being selfish to keep trying. If you are able to to get back to directly breastfeeding life will be less complicated and it will be easier to give breastmilk for longer which gives both you and your baby added benefits.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    Tried to post the link for laid back breastfeeding but couldn't do it not that techy. Just go to the home page click on the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding buy now and you can download the toolkit for free and laid back breastfeeding is on page 3.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    mama, you're perfectly right and not in the least bit 'selfish' to want to bf, which is the way Nature indended for you and your baby. It's far easier than EP or FF! I too was advised a nipple shield but it is not good practice:
    http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...tion&Itemid=17

    Nipple SHELLS worn after bfing, which keep your garments off your nipples and give them a chance to heal, are good though.

    It sounds like you are describing two things: a latching problem which is causing nipple cracks and pain. Laid-back bfing generally helps correct latch issues. I'm having some contractions here so I can't search for as many links as usual...
    Your son has his issue, which is getting overactive letdown: milk is spraying at him. He was hoping for a drip he can control (unlike a bottle teat, whch is gravity-fed, BTW) but got the hose turned on. Honestly, OALD treats itself as your body figures out it's not feeding twins or triplets and your supply rachets down to the correct amount, plus he gets accustomed to an initial splurge of milk which, again, will eventually go down all on its own to the right amount that makes baby happy. But do check out links in Kellymom on OALD
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    hi mama! you have good info from PP here. I just wanted to add onto the good advice.

    you are in no way being selfish by trying to keep the baby at the breast. my son is now 5.5 months, he loves to nurse because of comfort and love. he is so distracted and interested in everything else at times, but when i pick him up from daycare, or he is upset or tired, it is all he wants. i honestly feel that it keeps me connected to his needs.

    i was just thinking yesterday that when I need to sit down and nurse him I am forced to remove myself from the chaos of the day. nursing makes me stop and bond with him, it makes it so that i do not put other things first, life has a way of taking over and we end up putting aside the needs of our little ones sometimes. With my older son i am guilty of this, when dinner needs to get done, laundry put away, etc. but with my son who is nursing i HAVE to let go of those things, stop, and take care of him. I am grateful that nursing does this. it is a lot more than nutrition.

    on the flip side if i do need to feed him while i am out or busy, i just stop and nurse him. no making bottles etc. no pumping (only at work)

    your son is upset about the OLAD, not the nursing itself. trust yourself, you know what is best for your baby. even if it takes a bit of work to get there you can.

    Once i started pumping for work i induced OALD a bit and my son was choking and upset. it ended up regulating itself out but it was not as strong as what you describe. try a variety of techniques until you find what works for both of you. you will find a way. be patient.

    that was a bit of a ramble so i apologize. whatever you decide is best for you is best mama! you are not being selfish.

    Here are some links:

    fussing at breast:http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html

    OLAD:http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html

    back to breast: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    219

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    I'm sorry you're going through this.

    I haven't dealt with OALD, but you've gotten some good advice from previous posters, and hopefully more will chime in.

    I just wanted to say from the perspective of a mom who had to EP for her first child, it is not selfish for you to want breastfeed rather than to pump and bottle feed. Your child might not be capable of understanding why direct nursing is better at this point, but he will be unhappy later if you have to hook up to the pump when he'd rather that you be rocking him or playing with him, or any other of a whole list of things that pumping interferes with. It's a much harder road, and even though it seems hard to try to get him to be successful and happy at the breast now, if you can do it, you won't regret it. (All that being said, I could not get my first child (back) to the breast once she had really gotten hold of bottle feeding, and EPing was a better choice for her health and my health than formula feeding, so I'm not against pumping, but I wanted to answer your question about whether you were being selfish.)

    I'm not sure if you mentioned whether you have access to an IBCLC or local LLL group, but if you do, hands-on help with latch and positioning could probably be of real assistance.

    Also, if you have access to an SNS, you can finger feed from the tube instead of bottle feeding. Sometimes changing up a routine like that can help remind the baby that there's another way to do things, and it can help overcome the nipple preference. The PP gave good links to getting baby back to breast, and I think you'll find lots of good ideas there. Your baby is still young, and he can still come to love breastfeeding. (My second didn't even start to latch and transfer milk till 8 weeks, and it took him till after four months to master it.)
    I breast milk fed my Blossom for fifteen months (after exclusively pumping for thirteen). My Bud (nineteen months) is still nursing directly (after a rough start that included a few months of pumping and supplementing with mommy's milk).

    TwoDewdrops: Nursing Dresses and Tops for Discreet Breastfeeding (and Pumping)

  7. #7

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    Thanks for all your help. I've been told my several older women (mother-in-law included) that I was being selfish to "force" my child to do something he obviously didn't want to do (which I've never forced him). But I was also told by these women that he should be on formula because it has more 'sustenance'. It's amazing how the attitudes have changed about breastfeeding.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kent, OH
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    I think that a LOT of women who "can't" breastfeed discourage those who can. IE: many women don't get enough milk , or don't have the time/patience if it doesn't "come naturally" as we suspect it should. It's the way nature intended it, though, so NO it's NOT selfish, IMO.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jaymeb View Post
    Thanks for all your help. I've been told my several older women (mother-in-law included) that I was being selfish to "force" my child to do something he obviously didn't want to do (which I've never forced him). But I was also told by these women that he should be on formula because it has more 'sustenance'. It's amazing how the attitudes have changed about breastfeeding.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Should I continue to try?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jaymeb View Post
    Thanks for all your help. I've been told my several older women (mother-in-law included) that I was being selfish to "force" my child to do something he obviously didn't want to do (which I've never forced him). But I was also told by these women that he should be on formula because it has more 'sustenance'. It's amazing how the attitudes have changed about breastfeeding.
    this is why it is so so important to trust yourself. don't listen to them.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •