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Thread: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Default Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    I was wondering if I'm the only one to experience this... It seems that every time I go out with my 4,5 month-old for several hours, it completely messes up our breastfeeding rhythm. She sleeps a lot in the car seat or stroller (much more than she sleeps at home during the day), and so she goes longer stretches without nursing (even if I offer). When she does nurse, she seems distracted by the new surroundings, so the nursing sessions aren't as long and focused.

    I should mention that most days, we both stay home and I nurse her on demand. She nurses every 2-3 hours, with a couple of longer stretches at night; anywhere between 8-11 times a day depending on the day.

    Because we don't go out that often, everything goes back to normal the next day, so it hasn't been a problem. However, I am getting discouraged from going out, because when she's off rhythm, I'm off rhythm too. I would like to go back to a normal, active life out in the world!

    Any tips? Or will this get better as she gets older?

    PS. Adding to this, she doesn't take a bottle, so I can't pump and go out for more than one or two hours on my own.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    i dont really enjoy going out too much right now. i staying home and nursing all day. i work during the week so that is part of it, but honestly, everything is just easier if i am home. i feel more relaxed.

    part of it is just as you described, being out of your rhythm. and its good to get out even if it throws you off a little. i usually just plan very short trips. also, it is just exhausting having a lo. having a baby really does change everything. as the baby grows you will be able to do more of the things you used to do. for me though, going out is stressful. i think what you describe is very normal.

    dont know if that helped at all...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    It will get better as your lo gets older.
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


    Find a local LLL leader

    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

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    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    My LO is the same and only nurses well if we are out if I have her in the Ergo. No where to look but the boob and can't wiggle away. Helps to block out the distractions.
    Mirkka

    Mama to DD born September 7, 2010, and DS born October 28, 2012 and Wife to DH July 5, 2008

    We love and love

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
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    713

    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    yeah had this problem the other day when we went to the penny arcade and the mall. she didnt seem to want to nurse so much, things like that and i got super engorged for the first time in months, my shirt was sopping wet. at one point i used her headband as a blindfold. it helped for @ 5 minutes and i knew she got milk in her.
    Luna Justine: born January 20 th 6 am on the dot
    I did it! Now without the nipple shield 100% of the time Since 2/12

    We are now self-latching! .

    ing about . expecting to start in 2 weeks.

    Blame strange autocorrect if my posts come out weird. More often than not typing one handed on a "smart" object or just ing

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    4,894

    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    I have the opposite feeling about it. I feel better about getting out. I think my son, who is 11 months, nurses more at home because he's bored. And I'm more likely to offer at every whine or whimper. When we are out there's so much more to look at he's less clingy. So then when he does nurse it's a real feeding and not just a snack. Plus, he gets worn out and will sleep better at night. But I've never been one big on a schedule.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  7. #7

    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    i have days out that my lo will not nurse and is distracted and sleeps too much. and i have days out (this past saturday) that lo wants to nurse all day and of course on those days we are places impossible to nurse at!!!! i also love to stay home and nurse on demand! i will admit though lately i have had an itch to get out a bit more so hope this phase is quick for both of us!


    Killian Patrick Oct 27 2006
    Brigid Noel April 13 2008 (formula fed and it was the worst experience ever!!!!!)
    Declan Charles March 28 2011

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    466

    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    Glad I'm not the only one! I see people out with their tiny babies, my friend post about their outings with their newborns on FB, so I was starting to think there's something wrong with me. I used to think that being out would be so much easier for a BFing mom, since we're much more portable than bottles and formula... I will try my Ergo, I got one but haven't tried it yet.

    Also good to know that it gets better... I mean, I am a homebody by nature, but I do miss certain things from the outside world!...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kmanih View Post
    I was wondering if I'm the only one to experience this... It seems that every time I go out with my 4,5 month-old for several hours, it completely messes up our breastfeeding rhythm. She sleeps a lot in the car seat or stroller (much more than she sleeps at home during the day), and so she goes longer stretches without nursing (even if I offer). When she does nurse, she seems distracted by the new surroundings, so the nursing sessions aren't as long and focused.

    I should mention that most days, we both stay home and I nurse her on demand. She nurses every 2-3 hours, with a couple of longer stretches at night; anywhere between 8-11 times a day depending on the day.

    Because we don't go out that often, everything goes back to normal the next day, so it hasn't been a problem. However, I am getting discouraged from going out, because when she's off rhythm, I'm off rhythm too. I would like to go back to a normal, active life out in the world!

    Any tips? Or will this get better as she gets older?

    PS. Adding to this, she doesn't take a bottle, so I can't pump and go out for more than one or two hours on my own.
    So glad you posted this because I feel the same way too!! My LO won't take a bottle from me specifically and sometimes not even when I'm around. She's so distractable too when we're out and now she hates the nursing cover. So I'm stuck with quick trips out...I don't want her to grow up too fast but I can't wait for her not to have to eat every few hours!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: Out and about with baby & BF rhythm

    I also know how you feel, but for slightly different reasons: my LO has HATED his carseat, and we live in the mountains, about 30 minutes from town, so almost any trip has provoked screaming. But getting out on a semi-regular basis (like 3X a week) makes a world of difference for me emotionally, so we've struggled through it for the last few months. On some days I'm the one crying hardest by the time we get home, and I feel so selfish, but then we'll have five days at home without going out and I'll realize that the world seems to be getting darker and darker...

    Anyhow, the good thing is that once we're out and out of the car, we do really well. But for that to be the case I've had to make a few key changes:

    1. Change my expectations: I plan at least an hour for every stop, even stops that would have previously taken 15 minutes, because now I expect to nurse when we get out of the car and when we get back into the car, plus at least one diaper change. If you are in a city where you don't have to use a car (*sigh*) you might try to plan your trip around locations where you know you feel comfortable nursing, at least to start (more on that next).

    2. Nurse everywhere and anywhere we go. That means we're ALWAYS using the Ergo out of the house, me in a nursing tank or similar easy-nursing top and my boob/his mouth covered with a light muslin blanket (AdenandAnais blankets make for easy nursing covers). I don't use the stroller right now because we still need to nurse so frequently. Sure it limits what I wear tremendously, but so does the curdled spit-up. The Ergo keeps me moving while we nurse (grocery store, crossing the road, etc), though I have to move slowly -- oh, and nursing in it did take some practice. The Ergo (we used to use the Moby, before he got so big) is great because it kind of works like blinders on the baby, and my LO is now terribly distracted nursing unless we're in that or lying down in bed. I should also note: being able to nurse everywhere also means feeling like I have the right to nurse everywhere. I have made a real point of exploring this, and I've nursed on public benches all over town. I've also been happily surprised that many places (most recently the opthomologist's) will have a back room I can nurse in, I only have to ask. (Since workplaces in California are required to provide a place to pump milk, I figure as a patron I can probably get access to those spaces at least). I think that, if you and baby need to nurse, you should not feel shy about making that need known and challenging the others in that space to help you come up with a solution. I try to keep in mind that, while LO may be my child, he will contribute as a citizen someday, so everyone has a responsibility to make sure he is cared for in basic ways -- let them finding me a place to nurse be their small contribution to the well-being of the next generation.

    3. Make the outings baby-friendly. I try to plan at least one thing an outing that I know my LO and I will really enjoy, because I find his glee so rewarding. It might be as simple as stopping at a park and lying in the grass for 10 minutes (which we don't have at home, thanks to California dry summers) -- something sensual, generally. I have also been going on walks with some other mothers I met through the local breastfeeding support group -- there is nothing like nursing with other mothers to help it feel normal. (Even though a gaggle of women wearing their babies and nursing probably strikes most people as anything but normal!)

    4. Try to maintain existing nap routines as much as possible. Now, we don't really have a schedule (I can never keep one myself), but he does have a rough napping pattern. I try to make sure that he is in a place where he can sleep during those times -- so I plan walks/long stops during naps, and short stops during his alert times. If your problem is that she sleeps too much in the car/out of the house (wow, I can't imagine having that problem! I would love to have LO sleep rather than scream in the car!) you might try timing your car trips around her napping habits, and then get her out of the carseat when you want her to wake up.

    Most of all, try to remember that whatever you're struggling with, whatever phase you're in, it will change soon. And then you'll have a whole new set of struggles!
    Kate

    Mother to a sweet boy, born at 34 weeks on 2/11/11.
    Proud that I grew 26 lbs of baby before solids, and still counting...

    We received banked milk in the NICU. Thank you, donors!!!

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