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Thread: Ready to give up....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Lancaster, PA
    Posts
    16

    Default Ready to give up....

    First of all I want to apologize for my posts being all over the place. Brayden, my DS, and I have been through quite a lot in these first two months... 3 days in the NICU (dehydrated, jaundiced, not peeing... Thought it was a faulty kidney but that wasnt the case), me having thrush for 5 weeks (so incredibly painful), DS having bloody stools (still), shallow latch, reflux, acting like he's not satisfied, colic like symptoms (screaming like he's in pain for a good 15-30 minutes after he eats), thrashing his head and pulling off crying... Again in the last 2 days (not sure if it's gas or the reflux... Definitely not over active letdown). Ugh I'm ready to give up... I know this is the best thing for him but I just can't stand to see him in pain anymore... I have a call into the dr to make an appointment with the GI dr to see whats going on... I've already seen the LC and she is the one that suggested seeing the GI doc. I guess I just needed to vent a little and need some support... My mom and grandma are telling me it's time to give him some formula... Side note: I'm having surgery in 3 weeks to have a cyst removed from my ovary as well.
    Last edited by @llli*LLLKaren; August 17th, 2011 at 05:19 AM. Reason: merging duplicate threads
    First time mommy to Brayden Andrew.
    Born 6.12.11, 8lbs 2oz, 21 1/4 inches
    Still trying to get a grasp on this whole breastfeeding thing... It's not as easy as I thought it would be but am sticking with it!!
    DS sleeps longer and better this way! with Balboa Baby & Ergo and cloth diapering

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    His name was Cornball Wallace...
    Posts
    318

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    I am so sorry to hear you are having so many problems, and worse yet that the people yuo love are being so unsupportive. Please don't give up. You are very strong and awesome to stick it out, and it is important that you not only keep in mind what an amazing thing you are doing for your baby but also that you know the risks of the alternative. Have you tried eliminating foods from your diet to see if they might be upsetting your little guy? When I eat dairy (not a dairy fan much anyway but like chocolate or cheesy) sometimes to date my little one gets unsettled so I keep those things to a very bare minimum.
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,271

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    Is he growing okay? If he is, then you have the basics down and things are going right, no matter how bleak they may seem at the moment.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    Mommal's right, I'd add that if your baby has the right wet/soiled diaper count then everything is going alright. If your LO has reflux than giving junk food to your son isn't going to help. Remember heartburn during pregnancy?

    Your son is satisfied with your breastmilk. There are a million reasons for baby to whinge and wish for the warm, dark, quiet world he inhabited for the majority of his life. How would you act if you were taken to an alien planet of blinding bright lights, nonstop blaring noise, etc. and being dragged around from place to place? For one, I'd whine and complain. So don't take it personally nor shortchange your son and you on breastfeeding because he is in an alien world and just adjusting.

    Your mother and grandmother are suggesteing you give your baby junk food. The WHO ranks artificial milk as #4: breastmilk from the breast, expressed breastmilk, donor breastmilk, and then artificial milk as a last resort. Don't listen to them. They're not bfing experts, or they would know that it is EASIER to stick it out and bf than it is to FF.

    I had undoganosed Raynaud's phenomena of the nipple for 4months, which felt like nonstop thrush that didn't respond to treatment. It felt like glass shards being pushed through my shoulderblade to my nipples. It was extremely painful and I often cried when DD wanted more, which she did, she would still like to bf at least every hour at 17mos and me being 'dry' because I'm full-term pg. I just didn't give myself any other alternative. And it worked. It will get less painful. It will get easier. Keep going
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    None of these problems sound like a direct result from BFing to me! Formula just is not the cure-all that it's put out there to be so just keep working on things!

    If he's growing well, having adequate stools and wet diapers, then keep trying.

    Those first 3 months are very hard on the baby. It's called the fourth trimester for a reason!

    Don't give up on looking for a cause, but...it might just be him. I had two extremely high needs, very fussy, very demanding, crying-all-the-time babies. Both had pretty bad reflux, and treating that helped. But....unfortunately, that is their personalities. To this day, they are both pretty stubborn and whiny at times. And it often peaked when they needed an adjustment to their reflux meds.

    Hang in there. It will get easier!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,738

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    None of these problems sound like a direct result from BFing to me! Formula just is not the cure-all that it's put out there to be so just keep working on things!

    If he's growing well, having adequate stools and wet diapers, then keep trying.

    Those first 3 months are very hard on the baby. It's called the fourth trimester for a reason!

    Don't give up on looking for a cause, but...it might just be him. I had two extremely high needs, very fussy, very demanding, crying-all-the-time babies. Both had pretty bad reflux, and treating that helped. But....unfortunately, that is their personalities. To this day, they are both pretty stubborn and whiny at times. And it often peaked when they needed an adjustment to their reflux meds.

    Hang in there. It will get easier!

    A lot of times switching to formula will not help, but actually create more problems for a baby.
    Mama to my Rubies
    C '07
    A '09
    And my Christmas Eve baby
    L '12
    I will carry you all my life
    And I will praise the one who's chosen me to carry you
    W Apr '11
    R Nov '11
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. *Helen Kellar*

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    71

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    hugs!!! i agree with all the others as well!! good luck! don't give up! vent away
    Sara
    Momma to JACKSON 12-17-09 and JACOB 06-14-11

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Moore, Oklahoma
    Posts
    66

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    Don't give up yet! The first few weeks and months are the hardest! Both my boys had colic and some reflux, and I understand that its really hard. I assume you've tried all the colic tricks: heating pad, skin to skin, walking and bouncing, etc. Has your LC worked with you on the latch problems? Do you have a local LLL meeting or leader that you could contact for help? How is your baby's weight? Diaper output?
    Jessie

    DH Mike 3/15/03

    Riley Patrik 10/30/06

    Gavyn Oliver 12/1/10


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,562

    Default Re: Ready to give up....

    Have you thought about allergies? A lot of what you're talking about sounds like food allergies... sorry if you've already posted elsewhere and I missed it.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

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