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Thread: Confused...need advice

  1. #1

    Default Confused...need advice

    Hi Ladies,

    I just found this group, and to be honest, I'm not sure what my question is exactly. I'm just finding myself a little confused.

    I have a 14mo old daughter. We have been very successful with BF and prior to a year, did not have to supplement with formula at all. As she was getting close to a year, my supply seemed to be diminishing. I wasn't getting as much w/ the pump, therefore had to start increasing my pump sessions to get enough to send to daycare (she only goes 2x a week). Once she turned a year, I was happy to be able to add a little whole milk to make up the difference, as I was getting quite tired of pumping at work. I had her home w/ me 4 days a week, and we were down to 4 nursing sessions a day.

    So at about 13 months, I started weaning to am/pm feedings (just twice a day), more for me than her (so I didn't have to pump anymore), although she didn't seem to miss the daytime feedings. I did that up until a few days ago, when we missed two nights in a row of the before bedtime feeding. Since she didn't miss it, I figured now would be a good time to wean that feeding as well.

    My problem is that I'm SO sad and not sure if I'm ready to wean. However, I don't know that I'll ever feel 'ready'...and from what I hear, it's 'normal' to feel sad since I've been BFing for over a year at this point.

    I don't have a real reason to wean (except I don't want to go back to pumping), but I have already gone so far w/ weaning that I don't know how it has affected my supply.

    I guess my question is: where do I go from here? Do I keep at just the am feeding, do I go back to am/pm...will I feel this way regardless of when our nursing relationship ends because it's the end of a chapter?

    I feel like if I dont have a plan, I just keep confusing myself because of my emotions.

    Thanks in advance for any advice/thoughts

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,913

    Default Re: Confused...need advice

    Welcome, and congratulations on nursing to 14 months! That's a great milestone, particularly for a working mom, and I think that if you feel unready to wean there's no reason to quit now and every reason to continue on.

    After a year, many moms pump wean and just nurse when they are with their babies. That can mean a lot of nursing, or just once or twice per day. Either way, even a relatively small quantity of milk carries plenty of health benefits for both mom and baby. And plenty of mothering benefits, too- if a toddler will nurse, you'll never be at a loss to comfort her to sleep or soothe a bumped head or skinned knee.

    No matter when you wean, it is totally normal to be sad, to be relieved, to be conflicted. There are a lot of emotions that come along and surprise us as our kids grow. I know I was both happy and sad when my first daughter weaned at age 3 (never thought I'd go that long, but I did!), and I am finding myself feeling the same way now that she is about to start kindergarten.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: Confused...need advice

    You have to do whatever feels right for you. That being said there are so many benefits of nursing a toddler. I pump weaned at one year my son wasn't taking the bottles any way. I have never leaked or needed to pump since then. The days I was home we would still nurse on demand maybe 4-6x a day. My supply was lower but he didn't need as much he wouldn't drink whole milk but he would drink some juice, and water, and he loved to eat cheese and yogurt so I wasn't worried about that. We also stopped giving bottles when I pump weaned and just gave sippy cups. This is what worked for me hope it helps.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,106

    Default Re: Confused...need advice

    You can pump wean and continue to nurse at home. With her only going to daycare 2 times a week you are by far in a better situation for that than most working moms. I pump weaned at 15 months because DS stopped drinking the expressed milk. He is happy to nurse when we are together and doesn't ask for it when I'm away. He stays home with Daddy during the day while I'm at work. At 2+ years he says, "Hi, Mommy. Whatcha doin? I want ni-ni and Ferb." the second I walk in the door from work. Translation: He says hi and always asks what you are doing when either of us come home. Ni-ni is his word for nursing and Ferb is the cartoon Phineas and Ferb. He loves it and always wants to watch that while he relax on the couch and nurse. We DVR episodes for that reason.

    So if you aren't ready to wean and want to continue nursing do it. There is no "right" time to wean. Some toddlers nurse for less than 2 years and some nurse much longer. The only "right" time is when mom and baby are ready to end the nursing relationship. Go with your gut!!!
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

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