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Thread: Maybe I should stop trying to night wean

  1. #1
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    Default Maybe I should stop trying to night wean

    We went on a vacation about 4 weeks ago. Prior to it, I had started Jay Gordon's nightweaning method - mostly because I'm freaking exhausted.

    We are going on a trip in about 2 weeks. I started trying to reintroduce the nightweaning. The first night was an absolute nightmare. The second night was better. Last night, again, was terrible.

    She gets so angry. She starts kicking and gripping with her fingernails if I try to hold her rather than nurse. She sobs like she's in absolute agony. I feel so awful, but I also feel like I really am tired of nursing at night.all.night.long.

    I wonder if I should even bother with trying to move forward with our trip coming soon. I am pretty sure she will revert once we go. I'm wondering if the fact that I believe that she will freak out without nursing at night on our trip means she's really not developmentally ready to be nightweaned. But then another part of me wonders if it's just her habit, since there are plenty of babies her age and younger who sleep fine without eating all night. Sigh.

    Maybe I'm just rambling now...

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Not to talk you out of it, but Lilah wouldn't have gone for it at that age. She was more ready closer to two.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Not to talk you out of it, but Lilah wouldn't have gone for it at that age. She was more ready closer to two.
    I was wondering if that was some of the case. I was also wondering if I was trying to compare her to some of my friend's kids who have never co-slept, never BF and did CIO - in terms of me thinking, "But so-and-so sleeps. Maybe you should, too." KWIM?

    I also wonder if I am trying to push it because in the back of my head we are kind of talking about TTC after the first of the year. From what I've heard the REs push for moms to totally wean before any tries. Not that I wanted to totally wean, but I felt like maybe if we were nightweaned that would help.

    Maybe I'm just delirious from exhaustion. lol

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Christine, can your partner try putting her to bed? We started having my DH put Lilah to bed when she was about 20 months old. It was not pretty, by a long shot, for about a week, but now that's their special time. She magically started sleeping 6 hours in a row at that point and then he took over the whole night when she was just about 2 years old. By the time he took over at night, she had no issues with him.

    Would your partner be patient enough to comfort her while she hollered for you? And would you be able to NOT rescue them?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Christine, can your partner try putting her to bed? We started having my DH put Lilah to bed when she was about 20 months old. It was not pretty, by a long shot, for about a week, but now that's their special time. She magically started sleeping 6 hours in a row at that point and then he took over the whole night when she was just about 2 years old. By the time he took over at night, she had no issues with him.

    Would your partner be patient enough to comfort her while she hollered for you? And would you be able to NOT rescue them?
    I wish I could say this would work, but I feel it wouldn't. I'm not sure either one of them have it in them. In fact, long ago it was DP's job to put Clea to bed. That would result in about 30 minutes of horrible tears. That's how I started nursing her down every night...

    I love the suggestion, though. I am going to see how tonight goes. Sighhhhhhh

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Good luck!!
    Working mom to

    Gabbie 3/8/02 BF 15 months

    Rose 6/5/04 BF 18 months

    Will 10/6/09 BF 22 months and counting

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Believe me when I say I feel you when it comes to nursing all night and exhaustion. But what you're describing sounds a lot more tiring than just nursing. What about taking it in baby steps? Just shoot for four hour chunks between nursings?

    Another word for the developmental concept. At 18 months, Joe nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. At 27 months, he regularly sleeps from 8 to 5 and we only nurse in the morning.

    I'm not saying don't night-wean, but perhaps you can break this off into manageable chunks so you all can get a little more sleep?


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    Believe me when I say I feel you when it comes to nursing all night and exhaustion. But what you're describing sounds a lot more tiring than just nursing. What about taking it in baby steps? Just shoot for four hour chunks between nursings?

    Another word for the developmental concept. At 18 months, Joe nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. At 27 months, he regularly sleeps from 8 to 5 and we only nurse in the morning.

    I'm not saying don't night-wean, but perhaps you can break this off into manageable chunks so you all can get a little more sleep?
    Maybe I can try the 4 hour chunks. What do you think brought on the nighttime marathons at 18 months? Not that it matters. I guess it just is what it is. I was half wondering if her two year molars aren't already trying to bust through. She has teethed quite early - got her first two teeth by 4 months and had 4 by 5 months and so on. She's had her hand in her mouth a lot, which has traditionally meant she's got teeth coming.

    I don't know. It's just exhausting. It wouldn't be so bad if I could go to sleep earlier and make up for the fractured sleep with more of it - if that makes sense. But being that I work from home now, the only time I can log hours is when she's napping or sleeping at night.

    Maybe there's a way to get to her to bed earlier - which would get me to bed earlier. But then I fear she will wake up at 5:30 am!

    I dunno. It feels like a rock and a hard place.

    How do other moms do this when their kids sleep in cribs? Do the kids wake up and cry and the moms just don't know it because they are asleep in a different room or what?

    My goodness. 8-5 sounds like a dream come true, but I know Joe gave you a run for your money, JoMo.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    Hi Christine, are you back at work at all? I'm just thinking maybe reverse cycling if this the case, maybe?

    Does your ds feed loads in the day too?

    Edward starting feeding A LOT at about 13 months or so when he was having another major developmental surge. And he was at nursery, and had been transitioned into an older room. The LLL leader I spoke to - thank you Jill from London!!!!! xxxx was marvellous and assured me it was so so normal and common because of all the developmental biggies going on to feed so much.

    The boobs are the place of comfort, security, peace and quiet, familiar sanctuary, and really really yummy stuff! No wonder really! But I know it can be so hard. I've been there - correction: I'm there again actually - myself.

    Big hugs
    Diane

    Mummy to Edward 24 months and still nursing and with no2 !l

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Maybe I should stop trying to night

    since you already did say something to the effect of "maybe I should give up trying to night wean" I feel comfortable echoing that sentiment.
    I promise you he won't nurse for ever. Just for now. You LO really is just a baby.
    its okay to complain and commiserate, that s what this forum is for, IMO.
    You are an awesome mom, trailblazing your way into uncharted territory.
    Night nursing however, predates modern history. It is how we survived as a species.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

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