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Thread: Lack of support...hitting a wall

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    28

    Default Lack of support...hitting a wall

    My LO is almost 10 weeks old, I've been back to work since he was 6 weeks. I pump at work and send that milk to daycare, she has a can of formula for emergencies only, basically I was really worried at the beginning I wasn't going to send enough milk. She's never used the formula though.
    During the week daddy picks up the boys from daycare and I always leave him a bag of milk for the feeding before I get home. Yesterday I noticed there was still some in the bottle so I asked how much he ate, my husband told me it was formula. He said he understands that I want to continue to nurse and he doesn't want to take that from me, but he thinks that my milk isn't filling him up. Yesterday he didn't sleep but 1 1/2 hrs at daycare and the night prior he had been up nursing every 2 hours. I normally get a good 5 hr stretch out of him so I just chalked it up to a growth spurt or something. He cosleeps so it's not like it was horrible being up every 2 hours, just different. My husband said if we give him 1 formula a bottle at night that will help him sleep (not sure why it bothers him since he doesn't wake up with him). I'm extremely frustrated because with my last son I was only able to breastfeed to 4 months. Braeden is porking right up, I have no problem with nursing on demand, that's how I've been doing it since birth. But now I have my daycare provider almost frustrated he wants to eat every 2 hours and telling my husband that it's possible he just needs more, like her son did.
    **Joleen**
    mommy to Lil T (8/2/04), D (10/4/09) and Baby B (6/2/11) YES, all boys
    still learning about all this

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    Formula does NOT make them sleep better. This is such old and poor advice and thinking. But it is simply not true. Formula can take longer to digest, but not all FF babies sleep better, just as everyone thinks all BF babies sleep poorly.

    To me, it simply sounds like a NORMAL baby. They go through phases where they want to eat every couple of hours. Then they back off.

    So I think your thought of a growth spurt is OK.

    Instead of formula, can you leave a little more pumped milk? And don't buy any more formula

    I would also have a talk with the DCP. She is undermining you with your DH, who probably thinks formula is just fine since you've done that before and it's what he knows, kwim.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,796

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    Ugh, I am so sorry, mama! It sounds like you are beng sabotaged. Your DCP and your husband need to know that breastfed babies tend to eat frequent small meals rather than large, infrequent ones. And that formula will not cause a baby to sleep through the night- my formula-feeding friends will tell you that. They look just as tired as I do, in the morning!

    I would lay down the law here. If you want your baby to be EBF, throw that can of formula out. Make sure your DCP and DH get educated about the feeding patterns of breastfed babies. And do not let your DCP weasel out of feeding your baby every 2 hours just because she's not accustomed to that. Your baby deserves to have his caregiver interact with him on a frequent basis, instead of expecting him to lie quietly until she thinks he's ready to eat again.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    It sounds like your husband is just concerned about your son getting enough to eat and your need for sleep especially since you are working.

    I would let him know that you appreciate his concern, but that you really do not want formula fed unless it is an emergency. (Define what that means to you. To me it would mean no pumped breast milk and I am in surgery in the hospital and cannot have my child brought to me for breastfeeding.) Let him know that formula really doesn't fill them up, it just takes longer to digest, and does not have the same nutritional value. If you have any resources (online, books etc) give them to him so he knows you have facts to back you up.

    I would also talk to your daycare provider about your wishes and concerns. If it is a good provider they should listen to you concerns and do their best to care for your child the way you want and they way your child needs. If that means giving a bottle of breast milk every hour every once in a while because of a growth spurt or other reason, then they should do that with no problem. One or two days of frequent eating and less sleep should be noted, but not a big concern as there could be any number of normal developmental reasons for this and as long as your son seems healthy and has the right number of wet/bm diapers.

    Good luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Sidney, NE
    Posts
    37

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    I can guarantee you that formula does not make a baby sleep more. My son didn't sleep thru the night until he was almost 2 and he had formula only after about 5 months. Instead of BF all night long, I was making bottles all night long. Which sucks. Total old wives tale.
    Heather

    Mother of 2
    Aidan - 5 years -- breastfed for 4 months
    Avery - 5 months -- still breastfeeding -- 2nd time's the charm!


  6. #6

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    My daughter was formula fed and up every 2hrs forever!!! ate every 2hrs through the day too. my son is bf and sleeps 8hrs through the night. the food has nothing to do with how well they sleep! growth spurts teething and milestones are way more important. imho naps are big on how well baby sleeps too. if little man wont take a nap he does not sleep well that night. he is 4mths right now and is in that i want to watch everything fight my nap stage lol! my dh worries about my sleep more now that we are bf than when we formula fed and it cracks me up because i sleep great this time compared to last! i think they worry because they cant help. it is sweet in a very frustrating way


    Killian Patrick Oct 27 2006
    Brigid Noel April 13 2008 (formula fed and it was the worst experience ever!!!!!)
    Declan Charles March 28 2011

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Winter Haven, Florida
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    We've had to give our LO formula a couple times (MIL was throwing out our milk) and it definitely didn't make him sleep any longer. Honestly the thing that I think helps him sleep longer is cloth diapers, but that's another topic!
    There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Lack of support...hitting a wall

    i am happy to report that after talking to my dcp this morning, and pointing out that the formula didn't tide him over for any longer, she understands and accepts the fact that he's just a porker. i told her that i started storing the milk in larger amounts, went from 2.5-3 ozs to closer to 3.5 ozs. she has more than enough milk on hand, i pump for the whole week, including weekends and bring that over on monday and he's only there m-th. i think she feels bad that he's eating so much and she thinks that i'm permanently attached to the pump. thankfully now that i know what i'm doing i feel like an old pro at this and i'm getting more than enough for his feedings!!

    my husband is another story...luckily he has a crazy work schedule this week so he's not getting any alone time with the boys so it's all booby juice!! and just to clarify, i DID NOT (and quite honestly i refuse to) buy formula, these are the samples that we were sent/given. i keep them on hand for emergency situations, but i think i'm going to have to hide them now.

    thank you all for your support...i really want to make it further this time
    **Joleen**
    mommy to Lil T (8/2/04), D (10/4/09) and Baby B (6/2/11) YES, all boys
    still learning about all this

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