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Thread: Refusing to sleep

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    25

    Exclamation Refusing to sleep

    I have been co sleeping with my little one for about three months, I started when I began full on breast feeding. He is now 4 months old and I am ready to move him to his own crib, needless to say its not working at all..

    I started by putting him in his basinet by my bed at the beginning of the night then when he would wake up I would bring him into bed with me to sleep and eat the rest of the night. Last night he woke up and I fed him then tried putting him in his basinet again and he would wake up every time. Finally after three hours of the back and forth I pulled him into bed with me and he still didn't sleep. I started nursing him again and he was out... I'm afraid I have trained him to fall asleep via nursing and now wont be able to sleep on his own or without me having to nurse him to sleep.

    Naps have become a huge problem as well. He use to nap, and now if I'm not holding him the whole time he wont nap at all. It varies at times though, some days he will sleep in his basinet for 10-15 minutes, others an hour... then today he was sound asleep on my chest so I tried to place him in his basinet, the minute his head hit the mattress he started screaming..

    I know he is exhausted, he is not sleeping during the day and his sleep pattern at night has become worse.. any suggestions??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    147

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    I had trouble transferring my DD to the bassinette too so I put a heating pad in to warm up the surface where she would lay, and then remove it just before I put her down. Warm body to warm bed. I would also keep my hands on her for a few seconds or a minute until it looked like she was for sure asleep. But, I have to say my DD is now 11 months still needs to nurse to fall asleep, and still wakes up as much as a newborn sometimes more. So I don't know if you want to follow in my footsteps.
    Mirkka

    Mama to DD born September 7, 2010, and DS born October 28, 2012 and Wife to DH July 5, 2008

    We love and love

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    the heating pad idea makes sense.. thank you for the suggestion. How long does your little one usually sleep in his crib?? My little one usually only only sleeps for two hours sometimes less then he is up and I'm trying to figure out how to get him back to sleep.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    147

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    I have been battling this for months. When DD was 4 months she was sleeping for 3 hours, then 6 then 3. Each time waking to nurse, and each time I would put the heating pad back in and get her into the warm bed after. Then she started to teethe around 5.5 months and her sleep stretches have progressively shortened and we are down to 1 hr at a time, and I am going loopy. Knowing how strongly my DD is attached to the boob and the sleep association to it I know it's hard to change that behaviour once it's there. I still wake up and nurse her becuase it breaks my heart to let her cry, so I'm exhausted. She cut her 5 tooth two days ago and last night her sleep periods were 2.5 hours so it improved. Nursing is an easy way to get them to sleep, but then they rely on that to get to sleep each time they wake up. It's a catch 22. Hope this helps!
    Mirkka

    Mama to DD born September 7, 2010, and DS born October 28, 2012 and Wife to DH July 5, 2008

    We love and love

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    321

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    Do you swaddle? We still swaddle our 3 month old and plan to until he can roll over or completely break free of it.

    My husband puts our son to bed at night. He feeds him about 3.5 oz of EBM while I pump (in another location) then he cuddles with him and bounces him around until he gets drowsy. We have a ritual of this plus white noise sound machine plus miracle blanket swaddle = sleepy time.

    My husband wraps our son in the miracle blanket and leaves him in the co-sleeper (doesn't rock him). He puts a binkie in and pats his chest lightly until DS settles. Sometimes he falls asleep, sometimes he leaves him to fall asleep on his own. About twice a week he has a hard time putting him down. Last night it took him about 45 minutes from the start of the bottle feed until leaving the room, but he stayed down from about 10:45pm until 4am. Usually it takes him about 20 minutes. Sometimes when he doesn't settle we have to go back a couple times (we have a monitor) and pat him some more, or rarely, pick him up and rock him.

    When he has his first wake I feed him in the bed then get up and put him back in his swaddle. I can usually get an hour's sleep while feeding him, then when I put him back in the swaddle he is good for another couple hours. On his next waking (usually around 7am) I put him in bed to feed again then just keep him there until I get up.

    He's been going through a growth spurt this week, so all bets are off, but usually this is our schedule! Even with the growth spurt he still slept almost 6 hours last night. A few nights this week he only went 3-4 hours for the first stretch, then wanted to eat every hour after that so I just kept him in bed.

    If your husband is willing, try to see what happens if he puts him down!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    I have 2 children. A 10 month old boy and 2.5 year old girl. Babies seem to have phases where they sleep and then don't sleep. I noticed with both my children sleep became progressively worse as they aged beyond 3 months and by 8/9 months when they are learning to crawl or mobilize themselves plus teething, they sleep worse than a newborn. They sometimes can't fall back to sleep for an hour or more because of the excitement to start practicing ther new skills or teeth pain. With all the stages they go through I've noticed a pattern that nothing stays for more than 3 weeks. It's like every few weeks the sleep pattern changes. Unfortunately this is the nature of a baby and is why cosleeping seems to be the only way to get somewhat better sleep. Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution book has lots of helpful information to prevent or correct babies from getting into bad habits. Unfortunately there is no sleep trainer out there that will give you miracles which is why many people unfortunately resort to letting their babies cry it out. Just keep reminding yourself that this tiny person has relied on the comfort of your womb for 9 months and still feels the most comfort from the food and warmth source....you. I spend months trying to "sleep train" my daughter to sleep in her crib from 4 months on. By 14 months she was only getting up once or twice and slept in her crib all night. By 18 months she very very rarely got up at all in an 11 hour period. Now at 30 months never gets up unless her diapers is soaked or she got scared (which has happend maybe once in the last 6 months). So they do sleep eventually. My son I decided to not do any sleep training, other than taking my nipple out of his mouth soon after he falls asleep so he doesn't think it needs to be in there 24/7 for him to sleep. His sleep patterns are the same as how my daughter was but I am resting a little better because I am not spending my time staying up all night "sleep training him". I will let him nurse to sleep until he is between 13 and 14 months old and then I will modify his behavior. This article was really helpful to me. I hope it helps you. Hang in there.

    http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    Thank you everyone for your responses. I now feel like I have some understanding as to what is going on with my little one. I have decided to keep cosleeping with him for a little bit longer.. I'm just too tired after he fights sleep and cries all day to "force" him to sleep in another bed. I also cannot bare to hear him cry it out. Hopefully this sleep issue will end soon, but until then I am going to do my best to comfort him and help him sleep.

    I had another quick question though, during this sleep change did anyone notice that your babies didn't want to nurse as much?? he usually nurses every 2-3 hours at this point and for some reason the last two days its been close to impossible to get him to eat and I don't know why.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    My son is 10 months and has been somewhat distracted during the day for nursing since 5 months. Now that he's 10 months there are days where he's on an off in seconds. Every few hours if I think about it I offer. Sometimes he refuses and sometimes he takes a moment. I guess there is alot going on for them and they don't want to miss out. At night sometimes he doesn't really want to eat but rather wants the comfort. I lay him on my bare chest with me laying down in the bed. He'll push up on my chest and look around. Not much stimulation in a dark room in the evening so he'll nestle down and nibble on either side until he's calm. This is the best way I found to get him to sleep if he's not really interested. He can still "see" around, even though it is a dark room at night but has the comfort of me holding him. The bonus is I can stay laying down and close my eyes. Even if he's awake for an hour at 4am (which he sometimes does) I still feel less tired than if I had to sit up and rock him in chair or try to wrestle him to take my breast to fall back asleep. With a dark room, no stimulation, no talking or eye contact with me he soon decides to settle in on my chest and fall back to sleep.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lakers View Post
    I had another quick question though, during this sleep change did anyone notice that your babies didn't want to nurse as much?? he usually nurses every 2-3 hours at this point and for some reason the last two days its been close to impossible to get him to eat and I don't know why.
    If it continues, maybe get him checked out? Bad sleeping and not eating in my LO = ear infection
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  10. #10

    Default Re: Refusing to sleep

    Have you considered a cosleeper or crib with the side down? Our lo is a bed hog and dh was initially uncomfortable having her in our bed so i took the side rail off our crib and secured it to our bed using these instructions.
    We were unsuccessful at moving her to a bassinet but have no trouble scooching her over into the crib. It's much easier to feed in the night when you just have to roll over or pull baby closer. We find flannel sheets a good option instead of a heating pad.

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