Here is our situation- Since about 12 months or so I started nursing ds (who is now 17 months) less and less.The first year was pretty great but once he started getting more teeth, getting bigger, eating lots of food, etc, I found myself less inclined to nurse. From 12 month- 17 months I found myself doing it but not enjoying it very much. I would feel kind of nervous during it- we had a few biting issues but it really wasn't that bad, I actually felt kind of whimpy about it as I let it scare me off pretty quickly. Ds seemed to not mind as the nursings tapered off. We went down to about 2 a day and even those I felt uneasy during, and proud afterwards that I was still doing it. Then I started to feel my supply getting pretty low. I can't remember exact chronological order of things but it just started getting less and less. I know ds could sense my discomfort with it. Anyway- in the past month or two we went down to once in the mornign, and I got an electric breast pump and pumped aout 4 X a day and gave it to him in a cup. I only express 1-2 oz's per pumping but I felt good that I was at least giving him some more breast milk each day and trying to rebuild or at least maintain my supply. In the last 2 weeks he just has refused to nurse at all! I have mixed feeings about it. On one hand, I always had intended to nurse till at least two. I think he will Likely be my only child- not 100% but good chance of it. I just found that during the nursings sessions I felt nervous that he would bite me- or that his latch was uncomfortable. At any rate- now for the last 2-3 weeks he just straight up refuses, as I mentioned. At first I tried to encourage him, but it is also mixed with a sense of feeling that maybe it is our time to wean. I still pump 4-5 times a day because I am not ready to stop lactating. So I do still have supply. Just in the last few days I have been feeling melancholy about it. But when I offer he just crawls off my lap, shakes his head and says no (na, na na is how he says no!).
So I am just unclear about what I want. If I knew for sure I wanted to keep nursing I would just offer a lot and try to get him to do it. But part of me feels that it is enough- we are still very close- co sleep, I am a sahm so I am with him all the time- I am not sure what I want! I don't even know if he would nurse if I tried and tried. It was our thing that when we were down to once a day it was first time in the morning. But I still felt that feeling of not really enjoying it when I was doing it but then feeling proud afterwards. Which is why I thought just pumping would be ideal for us as he still gets some milk but I don't nurse. But now I miss nursing! It is not too late as I am still lactating. I am unsure what to do- thoughts?