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Thread: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,562

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    How would you feel about waiting a week or so between dropping the mid-day nursing and night weaning? I would be worried about engorgement if you tried to cut too many things at once.

    I hear you about the solid foods... Lilah wasn't eating much in the way at all of solids, but her appetite for solids picked up as my milk went away during pregnancy.

    I'm glad you have an extra month to deal with.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,983

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    Do you have a hand-pump? It's small, easy to carry, and it's good for "taking the edge off" without overstimulating production, i.e., good for weaning. A double electric would be faster, but also more stimulating. So if the goal is to eliminate that lunch feed, try not to pump.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    Yeah, I think we are going to wait about a week. Actually, maybe more, because our spare bedroom is still filled with boxes, since we need to unpack every other room first.

    I definitely don't want to pump if I don't HAVE to, I just want to have my pump in my car in case I feel like it's going to become a situation. I even bought some breast pads in case I leak from going all day without pumping. At least the class starts on a Wednesday, and not Monday. If it started on Monday I think it would be more of a problem from him nursing all weekend and bringing my supply up.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    551

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    Talk to him
    Talk about what is happening to build up an expectation of eventual weaning. You can point out older admired children who are weaned and tell him that one day he will be big like that and not need your milk any more. Praise him. Say 'aren't you growing up! You went all morning without a breastfeed!' If you are pregnant and your nipples are sore, tell him so. Many toddlers will agree to just a few sucks and a cuddle, with a book and something to eat or drink afterwards. This will help you in awkward situations too. Some toddlers will accept postponement of a feed to 'later'.
    Reduce feeding to sleep
    These feeds are generally the hardest to drop as it may be the only way your toddler will have a nap, go to sleep at night, or settle again in the middle of the night.
    Plan a change of routine gradually so you are not feeding to sleep (eg feed in another room), but give as much time, love and comfort as you can when putting your child to sleep - singing, rocking, reading a story, patting her, whatever helps. Gradually reduce the time at the breast to just enough to settle, placing the emphasis on the story, song etc rather than on the breastfeed.
    Stretch out daytime feeds
    Gradually increase the time between his sleep-time feed and actually putting him to bed, so that they are no longer associated, and then the feed can eventually be dropped. Distractions and persuading the child to take substitutes seem to be the most satisfactory answers for weaning a toddler off daytime feeds. Have set times for feeds eg only at home, only after lunch, no in-between snacks. Those toddlers who can understand seem to be able to handle this. Anticipate boredom, restlessness and the need for a change of activity.
    Discourage long feeds
    If you have always left your baby at the breast until she has finished the feed by herself, or fallen asleep, it may take time for her to accept that you're making feeds shorter. Try to substitute something interesting eg 'Come on, get down, we'll go for a walk.' Or, 'We will just have a little feed and then we will go and see if Grandma is home.' An older toddler might like to count the sucks.
    Offer something novel
    Iceblocks, ice in a mug, frozen yoghurt, drinks or favourite snacks can help to distract him.
    Avoid morning feeds
    If you share your bed with your toddler and she usually has an early morning feed, you could try getting up before she wakes. Be already dressed and she may forget about the breast and go to breakfast and play. Use older children or Dad to help distract her.
    Wear different clothes
    When you go out with your toddler, avoid wearing clothes that allow easy access to the breasts. Avoid undressing in front of your child, as this tends to be a reminder.
    Change the routine
    Helpful friends or relatives may be able to look after a toddler during the day to help change a routine, with Mum close by if needed. A child usually reacts differently with people he knows well and will take substitute drink and food and forget a favourite breastfeed.
    Cut out night feeds
    These may be the hardest to stop because of convenience. Try all the ideas suggested for putting to sleep without a feed and be prepared for a very gradual changeover from feeding for comfort to comforting in other ways (even still taking the child back to bed with you). Dads can be particularly helpful, since they are not associated with breastfeeds.
    Consider child's sucking need
    If your child really appears to need the sucking, weaning on to a bottle may be better than going directly to a cup. Give a short breastfeed, then the bottle. Take it slowly, at the child's pace and be prepared for the bottle to be rejected at times.
    Karli, Besotted mother of Ashley,8lb 9oz - 9th May 2007 and Fae 8lb 11oz 17th Feb 2010, both born at home, naturally.



    Nappy-free @ 18 months EC'ing rocks!
    Just leave it alone.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    551

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    I found this list from the Australian Breastfeeding Association really helpfu, just to see it all in one spot. I know that when I was still nursing Spuddy every two hours at least, day and night, at 22 months I couldn't see any way we would ever stop. I just couldnt work out how to start. But in the end it happened all pretty quickly over the course of a week due to the combination of morning sickness and pnuemonia.
    Yuk. I wouldn't recommend it!

    I did read somewhere a mother telling a story of how she would 'count ou't each feed with the number on a particular Thomas train, James Percy etc. So if it was Thomas she would only count to one and then he would come off on his own! I have done the same thing but with a song I sing to Fae Fae. She comes of by herself even if I sing the two verses really really quick. and sometimes I can just hold her and sing the song if I am not able to feed her at that exact moment. Good Luck. x
    Karli, Besotted mother of Ashley,8lb 9oz - 9th May 2007 and Fae 8lb 11oz 17th Feb 2010, both born at home, naturally.



    Nappy-free @ 18 months EC'ing rocks!
    Just leave it alone.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    Thanks! That's a good list. I have been doing some of that, like making feedings shorter. And I've been unlatching him a lot earlier when I do nurse him to sleep, so that he is not completely asleep. I used to have to wait 10-20 minutes after he actually fell asleep before I could unlatch him without screaming.

    At night usually he wakes up once around 11pm or midnight before sleeping for a big chunk, and last night DH went in to soothe him and it went really well. I hope that's a good sign that we can work out this night weaning process without a lot of trauma.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    6,745

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    I found offering a drink of water at night wakings helped some while adjusting. Good luck Beth!
    “Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,501

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    My 22-mo (at the time) was still nursing several times a day when I left town for four days. He had no choice then...When I came back I still had milk and we just had to hold him off for the first few days after I got back (which wasn't terribly hard by then; DH had already dealt with the worst of the tantrums while I was gone), and then he just quit asking. I will say, life is so much easier for everyone now that he's weaned! He sleeps through the night pretty consistently now, and is no longer such a nightmare to put to bed.
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    I have been able to spend the whole day at work without pumping. I am really happy about that. Now in a week or two we will start nightweaning. The only problem is that I think now Levi has 2 year molars coming in. He has been pulling on his ears and waking up super cranky and I felt back in his mouth and I feel ridges in the back bottom. I thought I had more time.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

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