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Thread: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    I think your DH is right. I think nightweaning goes best when you leave the room and they are allowed to co-sleep with the other parent.Because that way they can't smell the milk, there should be no expectation to nurse (same as if you weren't home) and the child doesn't have to deal with the added trauma of sleeping alone.
    Kind of like out of sight out of mind, right?
    I am Lea (middle name)
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    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

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  2. #12
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Well the analogy that I like to use is that you and I couldn't sleep on the floor of a bakery and not want to eat a doughnut. So it makes sense that a nursing child who is actively working on weaning will be far less tempted to nurse if they can't smell the sweet milk and the fountain they come from. AKA MOM.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Well the analogy that I like to use is that you and I couldn't sleep on the floor of a bakery and not want to eat a doughnut. So it makes sense that a nursing child who is actively working on weaning will be far less tempted to nurse if they can't smell the sweet milk and the fountain they come from. AKA MOM.
    Excellent analogy.
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Clearly he needs to be nightweaned and it would be better to do it now than right when you leave. Your DH is going to have to be able to deal with him at night, so it's probably best to do it while you're still there. I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this, I would be freaking right out. We had my DH do the bedtime first, for a couple months and then he took over the nightwakings. You have a bit shorter time... he will be ok. I know you know that. You will just have to make yourself NOT rescue them. Because you're not going to be able to do that in two months.

    The way I weaned Lilah during the day was by just being SUPER busy. She was nursing with the same frequency you're talking about, I was 6 or 7 months pregnant and just could not do it anymore. We played, went to the park, etc. I also bought a bunch of fun crafty things to do to delay nursing. So I would say - yes, we can nurse - after we do xyz. If she really needed to nurse, then we nursed.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
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    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Yeah, nightweaning is definitely priority #1. I think that if I left with him still nursing a few times in the evening after work and on the weekend he would do okay. I know he will miss me, but he will anyway just because I'll be gone. The only reason we haven't started nightweaning is that we are currently all in the same hotel room. We move into our apartment a week from tomorrow.

    I wonder if he will want to nurse again after I'm done with the class. If I go to the class in October I might have a long Veterans day or Thanksgiving weekend I could fly home and see them, so I might not have to go more than 3 weeks without seeing them.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
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  6. #16
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Beth, I think you need to do the nightweaning. And it's going to be TOUGH. He will be crying. But your DH will be there holding him. It's not like you are CIO'ing. He may be angry and upset that you are not there nursing him, and he won't be happy about the comfort that is being offered because it's not what he wants. But better to do that now, where you can step in and help your DH out if he gets really upset (either of them) instead of cold-turkeying it when you have to go to the class. When we had to do that with our first and third babies, there were a few nights in the first week or 10 days where I did step in and take the kid because the kid was really quite distraught. And that was over pretty fast.

    Then your plan to not come home for lunch is a good one.

    And when you come home, have dinner, go to the pool, go to the park, stay outside (hopefully it won't stay this boiling hot during September) and have fun, and then distract. I know he's hard to do that, as he's kind of possessive of his mama -- it was funny (not ha-ha though) how he wanted to nurse after you held baby G for me -- but if you stay busy and then tell him we will nurse at home, you can cut down the NIP, which will help with the number of demands and thus number of times you nurse. And then you might just have the AM and PM times.

    Then you can decide if you want to pump, or need to pump, and when, while you are away.

    He does seem like a kid who needs to nurse to reconnect, but he's also old enough to start learning some other ways to do that with. Nursing is just one tool in the toolbox, and you can adjust it as needed.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    I think it sounds like night weaning will help you guys a lot. Do you think that when you night wean and get settled into your new apartment you wont feel the urgency to completely wean? Logistically, if you night wean and you are working 8-9 hour days, you will probably be nursing in the morning, when you get home, and before bed. Maybe that amount of nursing will be okay for a while. Do you start work soon or is that after the 6 week course in October? Because if you start work soon, I'm guessing that this will work itself out to some degree (if you actively work on the nightweaning). It sounds like being in a hotel with you 24/7 is creating the open bar idea for him, kwim?
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

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  8. #18
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    I have already started to work, but I don't have my badge to get into the building until Wednesday, so I have been in and out with initial appointments and such. Then I have no idea what my schedule will be, but I will be working full time until I leave for the class in October. Unfortunately the schedule for classes in the new fiscal year is not out yet, so I don't know an exact date for the class. But yes, since I have been home a lot and we are in the same room and it is boring, he has access to the "24 hour open mommy buffet" as DH calls it. We do get out of the room as much as possible, but there is only so much we can do, especially with the heat. I do think being at work will help though.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a deadline

    Susan, what you said about him nursing after I held Gavin, at least he just got a little bit miffed, when I held Jenna's Sam he was MAD. So, I guess he's getting a bit better!
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Weaning a strong-willed child with a

    I now have an exact date, my class will start on the 7th of November. So, that actually gives me 3 months instead of 2. I'm pretty happy about that, because I thought for sure I would have to start in October.

    I am working full-time now, but I am still coming home for lunch. Next Wednesday until the end of the following week I won't be able to come home for lunch because I'll be in a class and it is just too far away and parking too terrible to be able to come home for lunch. I am a bit afraid that I will get engorged and have to pump, so I guess I will bring my pump with me just in case.

    One thing that was worrying me a bit was that Levi really wasn't eating much in the way of solid food. He is anemic so I want him eating more. It seems like the last few days since he hasn't been able to nurse constantly during the day his appetite has really improved though, so that's good.

    Once we get our guest room cleaned out I am going to sleep in there so we can start nightweaning. Is it too much too soon if I stop coming home for lunch to feed him AND start nightweaning too?
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

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