Is there any hope left for me? (first time poster - sorry it's long)

[@llli*storytime]

Hi, I'm new. Baby is 10 weeks old tomorrow. She was born 5lbs 4oz but was full term and was fine, but the doc suggested 1 feeding of formula a day and I cried but I gave in and we continued breastfeeding. My milk came in when I came home from the hospital on day 3. The first week that baby was crying a lot. I had an episiotomy so it was difficult to adjust. I also have had my indian mother in law living with us for the last 3 months in our one bedroom apartment so there has been tension there.

On day 11, my daughter did not gain any weight from the initial she lost. She was 4lbs 13oz. I went immediately to a lactation consultant who suggested I feed formula at each feeding and try more milk plus. She said I was starving my baby. The more milk plus didn't work. She sent me for blood work which neither my OB or my primary doctor would sign off on except for my thryoid. I felt like my lc, although recommended highly by the local La Leche chapter just wrote me off as not capable of breastfeeding. She said, "at least you can say you've tried everything."

I talked to other LC's on the phone and they recommended pumping around the clock, which did nothing. I started domperidone 4 weeks ago. I'm still talking more milk plus and I'm drinking milkmaid tea. I eat oatmeal for breakfast, drink dark beer each nigh (love it). I did notice that when I don't feed, I maybe get an ounce, which is up since I started the domperidone, but that is it. I ususally only get .25 of an ounce.I use medela bottles and I rarely even hit the lowest line.

I go back to work in 2 weeks. I'm wondering if I should just quit. I LOVE having my baby at the breast. I hate having to defend myself should I get a new pediatrician in the group at the practice. They tell me to relax and think I can do it. My husband is patient but not enough to starve the poor girl (again).

I tried lact-aid too and was very unsuccessful. I think it's just too late for this baby. It's both too fast (for breast) and too slow (for the bottle) for what she's used to.

So I believe that if I don't feed all day and just pump, I'd get 3oz if I ate enough carbs the day before. The only thing I haven't tried is a hospital grade pump, I have the pump in style advanced and each lc told me that was enough to make a difference.

I should count my blessings, I got pregnant right away and had an easy pregnancy and a healthy daughter. I just never imagined the pain of not being able to feed my daughter.

Oh, I'm busy to come to the computer but I'd love to hear of anyone who was able to get more milk this late in the game?

[@llli*usa]

Welcome and congratulations on your princess momma! First off RELAX, your baby is only 10 weeks, it's not late in the game. Change L/C try a IBCLC to make sure you have a proper latch, no tongue tie, or other issues, nurse your baby around the clock....that is the best way to increase your supply. There is something called"supplemental nursing system" use it!!! That way you can feed your baby pumped breast milk or formula while she stimulates the production at the breast. It's ok to not get any milk when you 1st start pumping, it will get better over a few days. Are you pumping AFTER you breastfeed baby??? Cosleep, and make sure baby has all her sucking needs met at the breast, no pacifier.
How many wet and dirty diapers in 24 hours? Bottom line......your baby must be fed while you increase supply. SNS breastmilk or formula while feeding her....no bottles. Stay positive, listen to music you enjoy while pumping and TRY to not hear or feal the tension that a mother-in-law can create. Oh, and drink lots of water and fennel tea or chamomile tea can be relaxing too. Good luck.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

There are some stories of other women who have come back from that. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with all this.

Is it possible that your baby has a tongue tie, which would make it harder for her to transfer milk? I think the SNS might be more complicated than the Lactaid. I will look around for some links and hopefully some folks more knowledgeable will come along.

[@llli*storytime]

I tried the lact-aid, not an SNS, are they the same? My baby totally rejected it and I'm scared to try it again. I know I should try another LC but I'm afraid of what they'll say. I have been holding the baby around the clock but my mother in law and husband are jealous and ask me to share her. I kinda wish I could just run away with the baby! I'd miss dear husband but not my mother in law!!

I would like to know if the few ounces she gets a day is worth it, - does she still get my antibodies or is it drowned by the formula?

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

yes, the few ounces a day are worth it...

To your family pushing you to let them hold the baby - they need to back off. I held my first baby almost 24 hours a day for the first 8 to 12 weeks. All she wanted to do is nurse. That is it. She would nurse on and off around the clock. She grew. It was what she needed.

How much formula a day is she getting right now? Also, what kind of nipples are you using? How much are you giving her per bottle?

[@llli*bellababy]

Any breastmilk is better than no breastmilk. It seems like you have tried a lot of different things, you are doing a great job. I think you should try an IBCLC. Anyone pretty much can be a LC but there are WAY more credentials needed to be an IBCLC. Sorry you have had such a rough time of it. And don't feel bad about holding your baby, she needs YOU. I held my new babies all the time. This time around I didn't even ask my dh to change a diaper. Enjoy it. It only lasts for so long. And I have a little boy the exact same age as your lo.... Born May 12th. Congratulations!

[@llli*storytime]

I don't know if she has a tongue tie. The LC I met said that she was fine and the latch was good. I appreciate it.

[@llli*storytime]

My LC was a IBCLC http://www.thepostpartumplace.com/aboutus.html
Our babies have the same birthday.

I just handed the baby to my MIL and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach when I do that. I don't feel that way with my own mother. Even though my MIL was a better mother overall. (My mom was inaccessible to me as a child after my parents' divorce - but this is not about that.). My MIL is bored out of her mind in this country and that baby is all that gives her joy. My gut tells me not to share the baby but it's awkward not to. I told my husband that it's lack of support and he came back with he supported me to the point of allowing me to starve my daughter for her first 11 days so I just don't go there. My MIL leaves the country right about when I go to work at 12 weeks so that's why I feel like it's a lost cause.

*edit baby cried for mommy and I got more time with her that I needed then. now MIL has her and I showered and now gonna pump.

Someone asked about how much formula. Well maybe 18-21 oz a day. She eats more on days she poops. We use Medela bottles and nipples and we just introduced a pacifier again out of need - when I'm not holding her. My husband wants his mother to watch the baby and I want my mother to get used to the baby as well as she will be providing day care in two weeks.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

. I just never imagined the pain of not being able to feed my daughter.

What you said right here is why I think you should try. Now, I think it's a good thing your MIL will be out of your hair in a couple of weeks. Why can't she just hold the baby when the baby is sleeping? You can nurse the baby, then hand the baby over WHEN YOU ARE READY. I don't understand this, but I also didn't let other people come to our house for the first 6 weeks with my first baby. It's really hard to figure out how to nurse the first time without adding in extra pressure from overnight guests.

Lots of women pump at work and don't feed their babies formula. You have an uphill battle, for sure becuase your baby is getting most of her nutrition from formula right now.

Is your baby still nursing some? Or have you switched entirely to bottle feeding? EVERY SINGLE TIME she gets a bottle - you PUMP. So that you can build your supply. Your MIL may be able to help you here, you could let her feed a bottle while you pump. And slowly there will be less formula and more milk.

Have you seen this link?

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/decrease-formula.html

[@llli*storytime]

Thanks! I'm actually tired of trying this crazy nonstop breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, pumping thing. I don't pump much. MIL sucks at calming the baby and defers to me. I'll stop venting about MIL here. I just imagine the minute she leaves, the tension will be gone and I'd have the supply I want. I do have the baby suck at my breast when she can tolerate and until I feel it's time to get the bottle out. I don't feel let down, engorgment, or breasts emptying. I don't know if it really "works" for me.

I just showered and MIL has the baby. I will try to pump now even though it'll be time to feed again soon. I have an ounce collected from today - that's with breastfeeding too but not too much feeding happened for the last two feedings. It's a huge uphill battle. I need two of me.