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Thread: Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

  1. #1

    Default Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

    My little guys (twins) turned 2 on July 6 and are still breastfeeding at least once, occasionally twice a day. Bedtime nursing ended about 12 weeks ago; nap time nursing a couple of weeks after that, and then we were supposed to be all done with nursing!

    However, I definitely missed a window not weaning around 16-18 months, as they became much more aware of what was going on with breastfeeding, put all the pieces together, and now still look forward to it and ask for it each and every day, in the morning either right before or after breakfast. Not in bed -- we stopped "breakfast in bed" several months ago -- but downstairs on the couch in "the nursing spot." They seem to really still need it and want it, and I still very much enjoy the closeness, the bonding, the entire experience.

    They are my last two babies; I nursed my two daughters before them for 13 months and 15-1/2 months respectively (they are now 13 & 12 years old). So it is hard for me to let go. Also, neither one of them has ever had an ear infection in two years, and there was one low-grade fever for a day. Otherwise, simple colds, many, but they come and go with no complications whatsoever. I do believe the breastfeeding has given them a terrific start in life on so many levels.

    However, there is a need to move on, for personal and health reasons, and I keep putting it off. They certainly give no indications of being ready to stop, and I am a wimp about stopping. I haven't had a mammogram in over three years, since before the pregnancy, and that is needed at this time and is actually overdue in my circumstances. As well, I am one of those nursing moms who can't shed a pound until I stop nursing, and I am tired of carrying this extra weight around.

    The boys have gotten what they need, and then some, and I never intended to go this long, but the nursing relationship seems to still be so important to all three of us, yet I also sense that if I were stronger, they would get over it fairly quickly and move on. Yet, if it wasn't for my extraneous circumstances, I might just keep going and hope for self-weaning, but I really don't want to be nursing them well into their two's, it just isn't something that I feel is right for me.

    So, we are going away on Saturday for a week, for a shore vacation to a condo we have never been to before. It will be a new and unfamiliar place for all of us, so no home cues for nursing, and perhaps a perfect opportunity to wean. But, they will be out of sorts during nap and bedtimes for certain, at least in the first couple of days, and may be more in need of comfort and familiarity. But they will also have so much going on and fun adventures at the shore to keep them preoccupied and excited.

    I am torn about all of it, but know that it is time, as difficult as I am feeling about it emotionally and otherwise. Does anyone have an opinion about trying to wean them while on vacation?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Default Re: Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

    Have you considered trying to cut just one of those feedings out at a time, over a longer period of time? I don't think the vacation plan is necessarily a bad one, as you'll be there to comfort them, but sudden weaning can be hard for babies this age, and it's really hard to say how it would go. Among other problems (and I only sort of kid here), it could RUIN your vacation if they don't take it well!

    I'm not really a weaning expert, but I have backed off nursing a with Joe a lot. So instead, I might start TALKING to them about how you won't nurse at the morning session anymore, and really talk it up, and provide a substitute, and distract, and do everything you can to end that session, but keep the evening session. At this age, they really do understand a lot, so if you keep talking it up, and explaining no milkies at that time, they might catch on pretty quickly. The key is to wean them in such a way that they "understand" what's going on (to the best of their capabilities) and hopefully avoid them feeling just deeply confused and like mommy took away their favorite thing, and they have no idea why, you know?


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Default Re: Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

    You might think of it as passive weaning. In other words, don't offer to nurse, but don't deny it if they ask for it. I would guess that having a nice vacation is more important than getting them weaned. I wouldn't be surprised that without your "nursing spot" they don't nurse. Now, of course, you may find that even if they wean while on vacation they might want to go back to nursing once you get back home.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*scienceteachermommy View Post
    You might think of it as passive weaning. In other words, don't offer to nurse, but don't deny it if they ask for it. I would guess that having a nice vacation is more important than getting them weaned. I wouldn't be surprised that without your "nursing spot" they don't nurse. Now, of course, you may find that even if they wean while on vacation they might want to go back to nursing once you get back home.


    for me I found that if I followed the 'don't offer don't deny' plan my son simply stopped asking to nurse.... he nursed sporadically that last year between 2-3 sometimes going a week or two between sessions.... I never had to say no, he just stopped asking, no tears (from him)
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

  5. #5

    Default Re: Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

    Thanks to all of you for your very helpful replies. I actually haven't offered breast in a long while, I have refused them both many times, or I would still be nursing them 8 times a day! The interesting thing is stopping the bedtime and naptime nursings went pretty smoothly, but it turned out to be sort of like plugging a hole in a leaky bucket -- as soon as one hole gets covered up another one bursts open -- so as soon as the sleeptime nursings ended, they seemed to come back at me to nurse at non-sleep times with a vengeance! Some days nearly every time I sit down and hold one of them they are trying to lift up my shirt to nurse. I am very conflicted about it, so I think I will just see how things unfold once we are actually away. As a few of you mentioned, I don't want to ruin our vacation over it! Thank you all and I will let you know how things turn out.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Weaning on Vacation: Smart Idea or Mean Mommy?

    As for the mammogram - I think the typical recommendation is to wait until about 6 mo after weaning to do a mammogram. But it IS possible to get a mammogram while still breastfeeding. The images are harder to "read" - but it is possible.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

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