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Thread: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    63

    Default Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    I am so frustrated lately that I just need to vent!! I'm tired of being told that DD is too old to nurse, that I am abusing her by nursing, and that I need to let her cry instead of giving into her demands.

    To begin, I have NO support. Mine and DH's parents only FF their kids and never even attempted to try to BF, so they never supported the decision from the beginning. When DD was only a few months old my MIL gave her formula behind my back, which I am still upset about!

    My MIL always makes comments like "you are STILL breastfeeding?" and "I feel so bad, I should have helped you get Ayna in her crib sooner" and my mother always tells me there's a pill that will help me dry up...

    The friends that I do have left always roll their eyes when DD asks to nurse and tell me that I need to "just stop," even friends who have kids. I got pregnant when I had just turned 19, so they think I need to be out partying now that I'm 21. Even if I wasn't nursing I wouldn't be drinking. My husband, unfortunately, is an alcoholic, so I see what it does to a person's life and it's not worth it! (But that's a different story!)

    DH supported my decision to BF in the beginning, but now he just thinks it's weird, so he says I have until she's 3... We'll see about that! He thinks she nurses so often because she's addicted to the nicotine still. ( I have been cigarette free for a week now yay!!) He has been okay with me sleeping in DD's room though, but I think that's because DH and I are only sleeping at the same time for 3 hours anyways and he doesn't want to roll over on her.

    In one of my college classes (I'm a full time student) my professor had us write down a fact about ourselves on a note card for her to read only. I wrote that I believe in extended breastfeeding and self weaning. I later found out that she had just had a baby and was FFing ... so she looked at me weird the rest of the semester!

    I'm just frustrated at how ignorant people are! I research everything before I make a decision and I CHOSE what was best for my child: co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding! What the heck id people do before formula and cribs!!

    Sorry for the long vent!
    Ayna ~ born 10/22/09
    Still and despite the controversy of society!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    Geez, you sound like you have no support at all! Can you find local LLL metings and go there? You will se lots of moms nursing toddlers there. I still nurse my 2yo DD and there is no end in sight! THough most people dont have a clue, besides DH and a few other nursing freinds, but honestly its none of their business!

    hang in there.
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    860

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    dear aynasmommy,
    Vent and rage here at will
    nurse your little daughter til she's old enough to fix herself a sandwich.(worked for me).
    A breastfed toddler can rely on the consistency of momma's loving arms and her sweet warm milk.
    it does a body good.
    Toddlers and older nurslings are healthy, well adjusted, social and i will defend and support and promote extended breastfeeding b/c intuitively we know it is the biological norm.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    Its unfortunate that nursing mommas still have such a hard time regarding when to stop nursing... hopefully someday mommas like you will be praised for there ability to continue nursing so long, just think our society was so against nursing once formula came out and now its the norm and the opposite it happening... you are her mom, and if it works for you thats all that matters... i cant think of a better way to bond with your baby either... like i said its too bad its not the norm cause no one would think anything of it. and if you were harming you kid i could see how they might be concerned but your just going against the norm... dont ya know any better? (that was total sarcasm) be proud that you ARE being the best mom and i dont think there is anything you could say to make them listen... just do what you gotta do and shrug it off... and i am very serious that you should be very proud!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    41

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    On top of every other beneficial thing you are doing for your DD, the fact that you are working so hard to decide for yourself what is right for her and for you and to make it happen is surely something she can feel every single day. Tripple kuddos to you!!!
    Mama to DD1 born 4/2009 and still nursing as of 6/2011; expecting #2 in 2/2012. Working full-time (50+ h/wk and incl. >24h shifts for much of it) nearly throughout; pump-weaned at 20mo for #1.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,780

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    Stick around here for support. I know it's hard to not have the support at home but you know what is best for your daughter. Great job on quitting the cig....keep up the great work!
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Ann Arbor, MI
    Posts
    76

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    Keep the faith Mama! You are doing an incredible jod

    9 yrs. w/ DH
    mother to Dylan
    11/27/2009 ~ 7 lbs. 3 oz. ~ 20 & 1/2 inches

    and and


    we're almost to THREE YEARS!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    Thanks for the replies!! It is nice to have support! I've been needing it for a while!! I live in a small town, but there are weekly LLL meetings 45 minutes away from me every week, but I drive that distance everyday for school, so I can't really afford the gas too often for an extra trip. I might start going more often now that I can use my cigarette money for gas though. Thanks everyone, I feel a lot less frustrated!
    Ayna ~ born 10/22/09
    Still and despite the controversy of society!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    Sorry for you. Sucks you live in a small town that you can't make new friends that aren't so ignorant.

    Maybe they should open a freakin medical book before they go telling you what's right.

    You do what you see fit, and you get your education, and you don't go party. It's one thing to have a good time, another that they think you need to party so hard you couldn't breastfeed anymore.

    Whatever happened to the occasional glass of wine? Or for people to actually make an informed decision? Guess I had a little vent piggy backing on yours lol.
    SAHM of Baby Dominic, we

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    174

    Default Re: Ignorance... I need to VENT!!

    BTW, you ROCK! I am so proud of you for making informed choices and for breastfeeding your daughter so long. You sound like an amazing mother. I support you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Kristin

    Momma to Benjamin, we recently made it nursing to age 2!!!!

    Benjamin born 9-17-09

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