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Thread: I want to quit

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    28

    Default I want to quit

    I just don’t know what to do anymore.

    DS is 10weeks today, and we have never had the best BFíng relationship. Initally we had a lot of latch issues, and despite seeing a LC, things didn’t improve until DS was 5weeks when he was put on losec for reflux. After about a week of being on the meds, his latch improved and things were looking up. But it was short lived and 2 weeks later his latch was bad and his feeding was a mess again.

    So we were back to the Dr and we had yet another increase of the losec. Again, after a few days the increased dose kicked in and things were improving. But over the last 2 days things have got bad again. He has started clamping down on me again, and pulling on and off. However the crying hasn’t yet, but history shows it isn’t far off.

    All the pulling on and off is making him windy too.

    He isn’t sleeping during the day, and if he does he isn’t in a deep sleep and it isn’t for long. His nights are better, but last night his feeds were starting to get a bit messy. We do all things that generally help reflux, such as raising the basinet, white noise, dummy etc.

    I am going to go back to the Dr tomorrow, but I am exhausted and so tired. Every time I think my nipples are healing he starts fussing again and we go back to square one. I haven’t been able to wrap a towel around me since he was born because it is too sore.

    The meds are also making him constipated which isn’t helping things. He hasn’t been for nearly 2 weeks now and last time he did go it was true constipation (pellets and straining). I am massaging his tummy every nappy change and wriggling his legs round. He has as much tummy time as he can handle.

    Despite this is getting enough milk (I think) as he has wet nappies and is gaining weight. But he still constantly mouths after a feed. Whether he is still hungry or not I don’t know cause he won’t latch on well if I offer him more, and will pull on and off again. But he isn’t settled?? He generally goes between 2.5-3hrs between feeds during the day.

    I just don’t know how much longer I can do this for, I am really not enjoying feeding him and formula and a bottle just seems so appealing right about now. While the pain is better than it was, it still hurts cause he is biting down on me. Breastfeeding isn’t this nice bonding experience it is supposed to be.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Hi mama, and congratulations on your new arrival. It's totally normal to want to quit. I wanted to quit and give a bottle every half day for a while. Lots to learn being a new mother. Go easy on yuorself. Seriously, bfing isn't all fun and roses and always a bonding experience. Neither is marriage, KWIM?

    How about calling your local LLL Leader for help on latching, because that is the principle problem--latching is causing pain and making your nipples sore. It's extremely frustrating. Truth is as his mouth grows and with practice his latch will improve all on its own.

    As long as your baby is producing enough wet and soiled nappies, you're fine. It's just a bonus that he is gaining well too. Frequent feedings are protecting you from plugged ducts and mastitis. They are also bumping up your milk machine and calorie-burning. It's NORMAL for a baby to want to feed all the time. He will change his mind at some point and want to feed less.

    How about trying babywearing ot give baby the close feeling he craves, and if you position baby well you can bf hands-free while babywearing--great! Babywearing a total of 3h/day and not in response to crying--just picking up baby because it's a convenient time to wear him--has been scientifically shown to reduce crying by 42%. His wind might improve from being upright and his tummy warmed by yours too. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fus...-breastfeeding

    He's at growth spurt age and will want to latch frequently to increase your milk production to his hunger. After a few days your milk will surge and he'll relax. Hang in there is the best advice the more milk you make, the sooner the baby weight peels off and your uterus returns to pre-pg size, returning your waistline not bad at all! If you could package burning calories while seated with your feet up you'd seriously be a millionaire by now. So relish a little what you have rather than focussing on the negatives.
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
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    2,197

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Is there anyone in your area who specializes in tongue tie? All the symptoms you are describing *can* be caused by a tongue tie, even if one is not immediately apparent to the untrained eye. Here's an interesting article, in case you want to look into it. http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk...windcolic.html

    I sympathize with the desire to quit. Sometimes it can be SO hard to get things figured out and worked through.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,893

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Clamping down, pulling on and off, gas and spitting up scream OALD and oversupply to me. Are you very full? Does your milk spray?
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,894

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Anyone who has had a rough nursing experience understands the desire to quit. When my first was a newborn, I fantasized about hopping a bus to Montana (of all places!) and just quitting the whole "mommy" thing. I mean, breastfeeding was supposed to be this blissful bonding experience and instead it just... wasn't.

    Years later, I am so glad I hung in there and continued to nurse. I won't kid you- the first few months of nursing and baby care took everything I had, emotionally and physically. But the payoff was immense. It did get easier. I nursed my first child until age 3, and everything from 5 months on was wonderful, and did give me that lovey-dovey bonding experience that eluded me in the beginning.

    I know bottles and formula look really appealing right now. One thing to consider- formula is not going to improve the reflux. So you won't get any improvement on that angle if you do switch. The thing that concerns me most in your post is how sore you are. Not being able to wrap a towel around your body... Do you have cracks, or is it just soreness? I am thinking that either the latch isn't right or you could have thrush or a bacterial infection.

    ETA: the PPs OALD suggestion is an excellent one!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,374

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*missyb View Post
    I just don’t know what to do anymore.

    Despite this is getting enough milk (I think) as he has wet nappies and is gaining weight. But he still constantly mouths after a feed. Whether he is still hungry or not I don’t know cause he won’t latch on well if I offer him more, and will pull on and off again. But he isn’t settled?? He generally goes between 2.5-3hrs between feeds during the day.

    I just don’t know how much longer I can do this for, I am really not enjoying feeding him and formula and a bottle just seems so appealing right about now. While the pain is better than it was, it still hurts cause he is biting down on me. Breastfeeding isn’t this nice bonding experience it is supposed to be.
    First of all, breastfeeding does NOT start out as a nice bonding experience. Just like your relationship/bond with your DH was something you had to work at for it to flourish and grow, so is this relationship with your child. Every one spends the first 6-12 weeks on the couch, getting thing figured out. That is what you are supposed to do. Your child actually sounds like he has spaced his eating out VERY NICELY. MOST newborns eat every 1-2 hours. So if you are getting 2.5-3 hour breaks at 10 weeks, you are doing better than half the people here! And as long as your child is getting enough to eat and is Growing on your milk then there is really nothing to worry about. You'd stop giving your child optimal nutrition because it's not fun? Please don't. Your child deserves your milk. Being pregnant isn't always fun. Labor wasn't fun. There are ton of parts or mothering that are NOT enjoyable. This will be. But you have to practice. And allow your child to practice. How having reflux added to the mix IS going to complicate things. Your baby doesn't need your milk any LESS because of that! And all things considered it sounds like your child is doing a good job of coping.
    Allow your self and your child the time you need to work this out. Your child deserves your milk. And you can do this. You are doing it. Just keep focusing on WHY you are doing it.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
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    3,113

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kst.7399 View Post
    Clamping down, pulling on and off, gas and spitting up scream OALD and oversupply to me. Are you very full? Does your milk spray?


    As someone who had a REALLY tough start with one baby I want to say that sometimes I feel like we have a stronger bond because things were so hard for us. We really had to fight and I think that creates a different bond.

    You can work this out and it will get better. Formula on the other hand does not get better or easier (I have experience in this )
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: I want to quit

    Thanks for your replies.

    I really feel that this is reflux related, as when we have changed the meds and they first kick in, everything is fine. His latch is good, he is settled and feeding well. Then over a few days things progressively get worse. His latch is 100% better than it was when he was littler and the pain I am getting now if becuase he is clamping down and pulling on and off all the time. When we have a good feed it doesn't hurt.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*bxlgirl View Post
    How about calling your local LLL Leader for help on latching, because that is the principle problem--latching is causing pain and making your nipples sore. It's extremely frustrating. Truth is as his mouth grows and with practice his latch will improve all on its own.

    As long as your baby is producing enough wet and soiled nappies, you're fine. It's just a bonus that he is gaining well too. Frequent feedings are protecting you from plugged ducts and mastitis. They are also bumping up your milk machine and calorie-burning. It's NORMAL for a baby to want to feed all the time. He will change his mind at some point and want to feed less.

    How about trying babywearing ot give baby the close feeling he craves, and if you position baby well you can bf hands-free while babywearing--great! Babywearing a total of 3h/day and not in response to crying--just picking up baby because it's a convenient time to wear him--has been scientifically shown to reduce crying by 42%. His wind might improve from being upright and his tummy warmed by yours too. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fus...-breastfeeding
    I have been in contact with the LLL and she put referred me onto a IBCLC cause she couldn't figure out what was going on. Admittingly this was before we had the reflux diagnosis, so we had completly different issues to what we are having now.

    He isn't constantly feeding, that isn't an issue, he is still going 2.5-3hrs between feeds, so that is fine.

    I have a sling, but can't wear it at the moment as it rubs on my nipples and it hurts too much

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*duckpond View Post
    Is there anyone in your area who specializes in tongue tie? All the symptoms you are describing *can* be caused by a tongue tie, even if one is not immediately apparent to the untrained eye. Here's an interesting article, in case you want to look into it. http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk...windcolic.html
    Yes he has been checked for tongue tie and apparently it is fine.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kst.7399 View Post
    Clamping down, pulling on and off, gas and spitting up scream OALD and oversupply to me. Are you very full? Does your milk spray?
    I thought that this was the originally the problem before the reflux diagnosis, but nothing i did helped (ie: Block feeding, feeding uphill etc). I don't feel overly full, but my milk does spray. But the fussyness occurs when I am initally trying to latch him on, then he sucks for 5-7min and then he starts fussying again, by which time the flow has settled down, ánd isn't spraying anymore. I burp him and get some good burps out of him, and he still comes on and off. He wants more as he is looking for it, but won't stay latched when he finds it.

    [QUOTE=@llli*mommal;1168062]:I know bottles and formula look really appealing right now. One thing to consider- formula is not going to improve the reflux. So you won't get any improvement on that angle if you do switch. The thing that concerns me most in your post is how sore you are. Not being able to wrap a towel around your body... Do you have cracks, or is it just soreness? I am thinking that either the latch isn't right or you could have thrush or a bacterial infection.

    I know formula isn't going to help with the reflux, but i am shatttered.

    My nipples aren't cracked anymore it is just pain. Like my nipples are bruised. My Dr did treat me and bubs for thrush as a bit of a clutching at straws effort, although we did't have any symptoms, It didn't help.

    I will see what my Dr says about his reflux meds this arvo when we go back.

    Thanks for your support though

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Where they keep it weird
    Posts
    1,182

    Default Re: I want to quit

    You and your lo are going through so much. This will only make the both of you stronger. Hang in there.
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,893

    Default Re: I want to quit

    One thing I would like to say, and I mean no disrespect. Doctors know very little about breastfeeding and any time a baby spits up or is "colic" they throw medication at a mama, giving her false hope. Now I'm not saying that is your case, however what I do know from my own experience is that reflux meds do not stop working after only a few days, unless your little one is gaining weight at a neck breaking rate. I agree it sounds like something is irking your little one, and maybe OALD isn't it, but it also doesn't sound like reflux. Have you considered a dairy intolerance? That turned out to be the case with my son. Your exact situation. We did meds, he seemed to improve for a short time, and then after a few days would be right back to where he was. Giving up dairy and soy was what finally made things better.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

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