Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 24

Thread: Would you tolerate this behavior?

  1. #11

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    Maybe we have different opinions of what is acceptable during nursing time?

    my son is big. Like wears 12-18 month clothes(that barely fit), size 5 diapers big. So I have done some things differently than I was planning to make up for when he gets even bigger but is still young, I won't have to fight him. Kwim? my cousin can barely get her 1 year old in his carseat bc he is too big and fights her.
    I didn't clarify, sorry. My son doesn't hurt me when he kicks or pinches, he doesn't do it to me directly, he does it trying to look around or play while nursing. The pinching part its not exactly pinching, more like grabbing. Not sure if that makes any sense?? So I take him off because no kind of playing or looking around is acceptable to me. At all. IMO

    Anyways when we get to 10months we will see, but I can't tolerate it with a 5 month old. Even when he is just laying there but not actively nursing I take him off. Sometimes he just likes to lay there with my nipple in his mouth and smile and whatnot. I smile back and say what a sweet boy, but I take him off to cuddle or play. I do let him nurse himself to sleep, if he wants. Also, I plan to do baby led weaning, but if he is out of control at 10 months , I may have to re evaluate that.

    Sorry to highjack your thread OP! Just felt I had to explain myself and my thoughts on appropriate nursing behaviors.
    SAHM of Baby Dominic, we

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    381

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sarapunkinpie88 View Post
    my son is big. Like wears 12-18 month clothes(that barely fit), size 5 diapers big. So I have done some things differently than I was planning to make up for when he gets even bigger but is still young, I won't have to fight him.
    But a big baby is sometimes easier to deal with than a squirmy one. I have seen this with my bff, who had both types, the big baby at daycare compared to my little weasel, and cousins of various sizes. I guess what I am saying is that size matters less than age and behaviors that are NORMAL for that age.

    I see that you are saying you're laying a foundation that will help you later. There is certainly some truth to that...but only some, is what I am saying. An increase in energy, movement, cognitive abilities, drive to move, tumble, play, and experiment is normal developmentally. You can't train that out, nor would I personally want to. And I get that you may be saying these things are fine, except when nursing. Well, to that I would say that if I took the sort of hard line with my daughter at 10 months that ANYTHING besides calmly lying there and nursing like a 3-month old was unacceptable, she would be weaned by now. Because developmentally she was and has been incapable of nursing without movement, some play, "looking around", smiling, taking breaks to talk to me, shark-boobing, you name it! Now, biting and pinching are not allowed, and she gets that. But like I said, without picking my battles and taking a super hard line she would have had to wean. She would not have been able to conform to every rule against her normal development and in order to be sure she got enough liquid and nutrients into her, we would have gone to formula.

    So I take him off because no kind of playing or looking around is acceptable to me. At all. IMO
    And that's what I'm saying. Maybe your baby will be completely different, but based on babies I've seen, that would certainly be really really rare. At 5 months I might have been able to have such a hard line if I tried really really hard (like I said, she is very active) and still get enough milk into her. Once she was mobile, there was NO WAY. Things had to evolve. And I guess that part of being a mom to me at least is learning to accomodate your child's developmental stage as well as figuring out what to allow and not allow. There is a lot of fun in nursing an almost-toddler or toddler. A lot of love, a GREAT mothering tool, and a very very strong connection. But I don't see how it would work with this sort of rule.

    Also, I plan to do baby led weaning, but if he is out of control at 10 months , I may have to re evaluate that.
    Yeah, I guess that is what I am saying though! And FTR I don't think my baby or the op's baby is "out of control". I think mine is active, playful, and fun. And BUSY. But maybe you would see her and think differently. (I can still get her in her carseat without a fight and not just because she is smaller though, but I will say that I have seen enough to now know there could a day where this changes...so I don't judge when I see a mom wrestling a tantruming toddler the way I used to, kwim?) But the point of this big ramble is that to me, such hardline rules seem incompatable with extended nursing in general.
    Mom to Taiga born 6/2010

    Pocket cloth diapers. Baby led solids. Full-time working mom. I my DH, DD, kitty Dr. Benway, and my working border collie Odin!
    BF for 1 year and she and I still love it !!!!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
    Posts
    3,113

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sarapunkinpie88 View Post
    I wouldn't punish, but I do not let my son nurse if he wants to pinch me or kick or look around. They learn behaviours at very very young ages. So he is starting to get that nursing time is for nursing, and there is a different time to play. He is only 5 months now. I just offer another different time if he is trying to play. At 10 months I would expect him to really grasp that concept. Also think about in public, it will be hard if they learn that they can do these nursing gymnastics at home, then we will have our hands full trying to get them to behave in public! Just my thoughts.
    I think you might find he doesn't (though it will be nice if he proves me wrong). I think a lot of us are conditioned into expecting too much from babies and toddlers. They really don't have self control and they really need to learn by doing, not by being told. They are little scientists trying everything out and replicating the experiments in all kinds of conditions to see if their hypotheses stand up. And they are individuals with senses of humour and temperaments all their own.

    What you do with your baby is working for you, but with a lot of others it would have lead to a prolonged nursing strike as the baby says "oh I can't nurse when and how I want, then I am not going to nurse at all". For me the risk/likelihood of that totally outweighed my annoyance at my yoga nurser and I just learned to laugh at and with her. I tried to deal with twiddling by putting her down every.single.time she did it, but she does it even in her sleep.

    As with so much of breastfeeding it is a dance where both mama and baby need to work together and what works for one family will not work for another.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    OP here- thanks for the replies. There's certainly a lot to think about. I guess I don't think about "discipline" at all right now. It just doesn't seem relevant when all DD is doing is really exploring and learning, not being naughty. Like now, she just pulled over the garbage can- not naughty, just something to deal with. I don't want to do anything that brings an early end to nursing or bring on a nursing strike, so I've been fairly tolerant up till now. Long-term nursing is very important to me, but I've never had to navigate life with a mobile baby. I'm just constantly learning.

    To clarify- I have dealt with severe nipple damage, bad latch, 10 months of soreness, an abscess which lead to one-breasted nursing (which is where we are now), and several bouts of very painful biting which I was afraid would lead to early weaning. I'm extremely protective of this one breast I have to nurse off of because I don't want to make my persistent soreness worse and lead to more problems. Sometimes her antics DO hurt, though I know she doesn't mean to, and it's not every time. I want to balance what is best for my own comfort, where she is developmentally, and what is best for our long-term nursing relationship.

    Conclusion to ramble: I think I'll try moving gently to other nursing positions if she's getting too squirmy for me. (By the way- she's squirmy AND big. A lot to handle.) And offer another activity for a couple minutes if that doesn't help. We'll see.
    -Hannah

    SAHM-WAHM to lovely Lizzie, born at home 9/14/2010


  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    Update: I just got done with bedtime. I tried to nurse her to sleep lying down, like we usually do. After a few minutes, she tried her dive attack. First time, no problem. Second time, she nipped me with a tooth. So I very calmly said "oops," sat up, and nursed her on my lap. She was out like a light. Success? For now.
    -Hannah

    SAHM-WAHM to lovely Lizzie, born at home 9/14/2010


  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Posts
    713

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    i would personally try to start teaching her that nursing time is not play time. right now if Luna starts kicking me, or would rather look out the window than nurse, i scooch away and let her "play" she turns to me and starts fussing and then then i hold her hand to the boob and start over. she's only 5 moths, but im not trying to be cold or anything. jsut trying to helpe her understand that obob time isnt time for play or kicking mommy
    Luna Justine: born January 20 th 6 am on the dot
    I did it! Now without the nipple shield 100% of the time Since 2/12

    We are now self-latching! .

    ing about . expecting to start in 2 weeks.

    Blame strange autocorrect if my posts come out weird. More often than not typing one handed on a "smart" object or just ing

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sailoryue View Post
    i would personally try to start teaching her that nursing time is not play time.
    I'm not sure if I agree 100% that nursing doesn't equate with fun time. I have fun when DD gives me dental exams while nursing, but have to remove her fingers from my nose because that's not so fun. It's just hard for me to know where to draw the line, now that she's getting mobile. I suppose that's going to be different for everyone, and will probably change as time and experience go by.
    -Hannah

    SAHM-WAHM to lovely Lizzie, born at home 9/14/2010


  8. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Posts
    713

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lizziesmom View Post
    I'm not sure if I agree 100% that nursing doesn't equate with fun time. I have fun when DD gives me dental exams while nursing, but have to remove her fingers from my nose because that's not so fun. It's just hard for me to know where to draw the line, now that she's getting mobile. I suppose that's going to be different for everyone, and will probably change as time and experience go by.
    well its one thing to have fun durin nursing, another to use it like a diving board or yo kick/westle mommy the whole time. and no its not reflex. luna would lift her leg to the side and smack it down with purpose.
    Luna Justine: born January 20 th 6 am on the dot
    I did it! Now without the nipple shield 100% of the time Since 2/12

    We are now self-latching! .

    ing about . expecting to start in 2 weeks.

    Blame strange autocorrect if my posts come out weird. More often than not typing one handed on a "smart" object or just ing

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    166

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    how about one of those necklaces to play with? I would end the feeding session too... If she wants to play instead of eat then play! The bewbs arent going anywhere. It's frustrating for sure.
    Jaxon (07/13/08) weaned at 27 months
    Alexa and Braxton (11/18/10). My NICU miracles.

    http://swallomlife.blogspot.com

    "This above all: to thine own self be true" -Hamlet

  10. #20

    Default Re: Would you tolerate this behavior?

    We just calmly stop and move on to something else for a couple minutes. DS is pretty big so once he gets moving around and grabby it can hurt. Smiles and giggles are no big deal and just part of our fun, but once he gets bouncy we move on

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •