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Thread: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

  1. #1
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    Jun 2011
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    Default A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Hi All!
    Some of you might know my story as I posted a forum topic in the 0-3 month category ("producing enough milk & doc threatening me"- http://forums.llli.org/showthread.ph...threatening-me).. I'm coming to a bit of a crossroads in my breastfeeding journey....

    Long story short, my DD had surgery, and, as she was recovering during this time I ended up with mastitis and was forced to use formula 95% of the time (as my milk supply kind of quit on me on the affected breast and was more than a little strained on the non-affected breast)...

    my daughter ended up gaining 2 pounds, 4 ounces off of the formula and the question started being asked by both the doctor and my hubby (although he has been super supportive)- why do I continue to breastfeed when it seems she's so satisfied and a majority of her nutrition (and resulting weight gain) was because of the formula? Now, while I can agree with this (I restarted and fully committed myself to breastfeeding once the mastitis subsided-- but she was only maintaining her weight not gaining for the few days I went all out with the bf'ing....

    so I really wanted to pose this question to you ladies....If she's gaining so well, even if I know its:
    -better to breastfeed my child (for all the obvious reasons)
    -i'm against formula and my DD still has an allergy, and knowing this, her doctor's still want me to give her formula (strictly for weight gaining reasons)
    -will probably cause me tons of guilt to stop (not to mention sadness)
    -probably lead to her being slightly less than satisfied
    -and not as easily gaining weight while I work out the kinks again

    should I continue? Or should I just finally throw in the towel and give it up since it seems my breastmilk is not putting on weight like the doctors/everyone seems to think it should (since my milk certainly can't rival how fatty and filling formula is even though it's horrible for my DD)?

    Thank you ladies- I always appreciate your wisdom.

    ETA: I wanted to mention my daughter will be 4 months at the end of July, prior to formula had 8-10 wet diapers a day (5-6 were with stool) and prior to formula feeding was around 8 pounds, 8 ounces (at home- at the drs office it was 8 pounds 6 ounces) and in 18 days gained roughly 2 pounds (all 18 days she was mostly taking in more formula than breastmilk).
    Last edited by @llli*xxmidnight; July 7th, 2011 at 11:42 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxmidnight View Post
    so I really wanted to pose this question to you ladies....If she's gaining so well, even if I know its:
    -better to breastfeed my child (for all the obvious reasons)
    -i'm against formula and my DD still has an allergy, and knowing this, her doctor's still want me to give her formula (strictly for weight gaining reasons)
    -will probably cause me tons of guilt to stop (not to mention sadness)
    -probably lead to her being slightly less than satisfied
    -and not as easily gaining weight while I work out the kinks again

    should I continue? Or should I just finally throw in the towel and give it up since it seems my breastmilk is not putting on weight like the doctors/everyone seems to think it should (since my milk certainly can't rival how fatty and filling formula is even though it's horrible for my DD)?

    Thank you ladies- I always appreciate your wisdom.
    If you KNOW the bolded part why ask the question? Here's a better one: Is all weight good weight? Do babies need to be fat to be healthy? If someone skinny wanted to put on weight would you send them to McDonalds? It will make kids put on weight. The reasons it does that does NOT = better for baby. You seem to KNOW THAT. So where is the self doubt coming from?

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxmidnight View Post
    -probably lead to her being slightly less than satisfied
    .
    I don't think this is true at all. What is true is that formula digest much more slowly than breastmilk, but that does not make it more satisfying. It just means it absorbs more slowly and has greater byproduct of waste because it's not as pure as breastmilk.

    In the long run do I think your daughter will be ok if you breastfeed, yes I do. I believe you can overcome these issues and breastfeed. If you already know you will regret stopping - then don't stop. Listen to your HEART. Listen to your GUT. You will regret it if you give up now. You will not regret it if you continue working at it.

    Personally, I feel it's been one of the most empowering things I've ever done as a woman. I also have no idea how the heck I would "Mother" without it as my tool. Plus, I'm lazy. And in the long run (Once you work out the kinks) it will be wayyyyyyy easier than formula.

    You can do this. I know the ladies here will help you in anyway we can.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    I ask the question because it's not really as cut in dry as that, is it?
    I want to do what's right, but, if she's not putting on weight in a way that is acceptable by a doctor's standard, I guess then it wouldn't matter to anyone what I THOUGHT or KNEW was right, honestly, would it? I have no problem at all with how my daughter was gaining while I was strictly bf'ing but I have been threatened by my DD's doc and really had been backed into a corner to either comply or be at the doc's mercy... unfortunately I have no choice in what doc my DD sees so either I play ball or deal with the consequences.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Well.. to be honest..
    I do notice that she seems so full, to excess when I feed her with formula and stays fuller longer..
    when I seem to strictly breastfeed she seems to never get enough breastmilk and it takes too long to replenish for her to seem to be satisfied.
    I do agree her body smells foul while she's using it, her #2 diapers seems to almost instantly cause irritation to her bottom which never happened before and she just seems so sickeningly fat it's unhealthy and it kind of scares me.

    I agree with everything you're saying. I hope I can overcome these things but it's hard to have faith sometimes when it seems that doctors don't care how hard you try to make things work, or about regret, or about whats best for your child... in fact, in my situation, my DD's doc mentioned she could never breastfeed herself so she's not quite what you would call a sympathetic ear on the matter... I agree with everything you say, hands down.. but what can I do as a mother, when i'm faced with a doctor that doesn't care about anything other than my daughter matching up to a growth chart, which she's doing, just not fast enough..

  6. #6
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxmidnight View Post
    Well.. to be honest..
    I do notice that she seems so full, to excess when I feed her with formula and stays fuller longer..
    when I seem to strictly breastfeed she seems to never get enough breastmilk and it takes too long to replenish for her to seem to be satisfied.
    I do agree her body smells foul while she's using it, her #2 diapers seems to almost instantly cause irritation to her bottom which never happened before and she just seems so sickeningly fat it's unhealthy and it kind of scares me.

    I agree with everything you're saying. I hope I can overcome these things but it's hard to have faith sometimes when it seems that doctors don't care how hard you try to make things work, or about regret, or about whats best for your child... in fact, in my situation, my DD's doc mentioned she could never breastfeed herself so she's not quite what you would call a sympathetic ear on the matter... I agree with everything you say, hands down.. but what can I do as a mother, when i'm faced with a doctor that doesn't care about anything other than my daughter matching up to a growth chart, which she's doing, just not fast enough..
    You can get another doctor. Your child is not a machine. How can you expect her to match up to a chart that somebody just created without any regard to her as a human being who is an individual.

    I'd be more curious to know how wet and dirty dipes are without formula. That will tell you if she's getting enough.

    Obviously, it's up to you. I say follow your heart. Good luck.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxmidnight View Post
    Well.. to be honest..
    I do notice that she seems so full, to excess when I feed her with formula and stays fuller longer..
    when I seem to strictly breastfeed she seems to never get enough breastmilk and it takes too long to replenish for her to seem to be satisfied.
    I do agree her body smells foul while she's using it, her #2 diapers seems to almost instantly cause irritation to her bottom which never happened before and she just seems so sickeningly fat it's unhealthy and it kind of scares me.
    She stays full longer because it's harder to digest. it creates more waste. All that takes more time than breastmilk being absorbed directly into tissues and growing organs.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxmidnight View Post
    I agree with everything you're saying. I hope I can overcome these things but it's hard to have faith sometimes when it seems that doctors don't care how hard you try to make things work, or about regret, or about whats best for your child... in fact, in my situation, my DD's doc mentioned she could never breastfeed herself so she's not quite what you would call a sympathetic ear on the matter... I agree with everything you say, hands down.. but what can I do as a mother, when i'm faced with a doctor that doesn't care about anything other than my daughter matching up to a growth chart, which she's doing, just not fast enough..
    How old is your child? How many more times do you HAVE to go to the doctor?? Most babies only need to see their doctor every 3months? I am not comfortable with how threatened you feel by this situation. And why don't you have any control over your childs' care? In terms of being empowered to change doctors?

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #8
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxmidnight View Post
    I do agree her body smells foul while she's using it, her #2 diapers seems to almost instantly cause irritation to her bottom which never happened before and she just seems so sickeningly fat it's unhealthy and it kind of scares me.
    Am I reading this right? Do you think your baby is "sickeningly fat"? How does she look height percentile and weight percentile?

    Babies come in all different shapes and sizes and they grown in different patterns. If you commit to breast feeding your baby on demand (and pumping etc after every feeding until your supply is back up) you can feed your baby and keep her healthy. You do not need formula. And from your previous thread your baby's food allergies seem to make formula a potentially dangerous choice.

    What was the surgery for mama?

    Shelly, she is on a military base, changing doctors is not the same in there as out here.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    Got it...(Not really) Does she HAVE to go to the doctor all the time too???

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #10
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    Default Re: A question of heart- continue to bf or use formula strictly?

    if its a MTF just go to tricare and ask to switch to a civilian doctor. its your right as the mother to see a different doctor, as well as not having all those men forcefedding the formula.

    its ossible to replenish your supply. or at the very least try to find donation milk. it would be much better than the formula. especially if she's allergic to it.
    Luna Justine: born January 20 th 6 am on the dot
    I did it! Now without the nipple shield 100% of the time Since 2/12

    We are now self-latching! .

    ing about . expecting to start in 2 weeks.

    Blame strange autocorrect if my posts come out weird. More often than not typing one handed on a "smart" object or just ing

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