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Thread: What Age?

  1. #1

    Post What Age?

    I'm curious about getting an idea from your experiences concerning what age you felt most people around you began judging you for breastfeeding your baby?

    Obviously how long you nurse for is a personal choice. Please refrain from discussion on how long you think someone should breastfeed and keep discussion centered on when you felt excessive judgement from those around you.

    I'd also like to hear about any particularly interesting stories in which people have faced problems from this sort of judgement.
    Why is a man making a movie about women's breasts? I used to think breasts were mostly for sex. Then my son was born and I saw the beauty of their primary function: nurturing children. I want to share that beauty with the world.

    This project is my "baby," though my wife helps me with it too. Changing my attitudes about women transformed my life so now I'm making a film about it.

    http://BreastsTheMovie.com

  2. #2
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: What Age?

    I've never actually felt judged more or less mocked instead. And that was from some of my family members who had admitted they were having a conversation about me still nursing my DD when she's "on the soccer field" They were carrying on for like 5 minutes about it and it was upsetting. This was probably around 1 year - 18 months. Maybe not even 18 months. I'm still nursing her (in the process of weaning) and she's 3 years 1 month and I am 35 wks pregnant. I haven't been asked about it in probably a year, maybe a little longer. I think everyone assumes she's weaned.
    So...I'd say starting at 1 or right before is when I started feeling that people were expecting her to wean real soon.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What Age?

    I'm lucky to live in a very pro-breastfeeding area and to have a very pro-BF family. The only time I've run into criticism was when my first was around 18 months and my dad mentioned that he thought it was probably time to stop. I told him that a) it was none of his business and b) that medical advice from the AAP and the WHO was to continue for as long as both mama and baby wanted, and that was the last I ever heard of it. I occasionally got weird looks when I mentioned that I was nursing a toddler, but again, I'm fortunate in where I live, because I've heard a lot more "oh yeah, I nursed my baby until she was 4" or "I wish I could have gone that long, I was sorry when he weaned" than "whoa, that's weird."
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
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    Default Re: What Age?

    My in laws were judgemental about it from the get-go, but very vocal about it after age one. Not directly TO me, but about others. Like - can you believe so and so is still nursing little XYZ? He's over a year now!

    Lame.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #5
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    Default Re: What Age?

    Jace - if you look through the Dealing With Criticism threads, you will likely find a lot of the types of stories you appear to be looking for.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  6. #6
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    Default Re: What Age?

    Over the year point. And...I live in a very very Pro-Breastfeeding area. But people hear the AAP recommendation of "AT LEAST a YEAR" as "UP TO a year." I SWEAR that is what people hear. The assumption by and large is that everyone will wean at a year. And that recommendation really means that is weaning should BEGIN. And it does! Because at a year a child's Solid food intake increases and some of that replaces nursing milk. So you have BEGUN to wean. But it is naturally meant to be a long dance to the finish line. Naturally in our species...it's meant to be like that.
    I think after about 18months people can put enough limits on their nursing relationship that it becomes an "in the closet" type of thing. Like people just assume you are weaned because they never see you do it anymore unless they are close enough friends family to be in your house with you at nap or bedtime. Closet nursers are everywhere.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
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    Default Re: What Age?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Over the year point. And...I live in a very very Pro-Breastfeeding area. But people hear the AAP recommendation of "AT LEAST a YEAR" as "UP TO a year." I SWEAR that is what people hear. The assumption by and large is that everyone will wean at a year. And that recommendation really means that is weaning should BEGIN. And it does! Because at a year a child's Solid food intake increases and some of that replaces nursing milk. So you have BEGUN to wean. But it is naturally meant to be a long dance to the finish line. Naturally in our species...it's meant to be like that.
    I think after about 18months people can put enough limits on their nursing relationship that it becomes an "in the closet" type of thing. Like people just assume you are weaned because they never see you do it anymore unless they are close enough friends family to be in your house with you at nap or bedtime. Closet nursers are everywhere.
    I completely agree

    I nursed in public until about 18 months, after that I only nursed in public to curb a tantrum or if we were out for a really long time. I don't think I nursed in public at all after 2 years. I did nurse around friends and family until we weaned.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  8. #8
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    Default Re: What Age?

    i am a mom who breastfed babies in the 1980's (folks were in awe of me) in the 1990's (i surrounded myself with like minded women) and in the 2001-2006 where the level of disdain for a SAHM was ego-crushing. I feel sorry for the younger moms of today who are being pressured to pump and store in order to work, rather than stay at home and be a homemaker. i nursed until my LO's outgrew the need.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  9. #9
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    Default Re: What Age?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*esthervegan View Post
    I feel sorry for the younger moms of today who are being pressured to pump and store in order to work, rather than stay at home and be a homemaker.
    This may not be the place for this comment, but you are always saying things like this. We don't need your pity. Some of us are not "pressured" to pump and store in order to work. We can pump for our babies and still nurse our babies for a long time. Not everyone wants to be a homemaker and they shouldn't have to be just because they are nursing their baby.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  10. #10
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    Default Re: What Age?

    I live in a pro breastfeeding area and I haven't ever been judged (to my face anyway).

    I've had comments around 17months that it's amazing I'm still breastfeeding, and I do get the general sense at 18 months that it's no longer the norm. No comments but I have to coach myself in my head not to be uncomfortable with mentioning it. For example we went to a friend's chalet for a few days. my nearly 18 month old only really nurses in the morning, at nap and at bed so they had no reason to even know, but I caught myself making a point not to mention it. I got thrush recently and I've been nervous to call the Dr about treatment this late in the game, even though I have no reason to believe she'd say anything negative. My DH did ask if I thought the thrush was a result of him nursing so much less but when I said no he had no more to say. So overall no explicit judgement but I do feel societal pressures, probably starting around the 16 month mark.

    I have had conversations with friends about nursing past two and most of them were not comfortable with the idea at all. I haven't reached that stage yet though. It was a theoretical discussion.
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

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