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Thread: No baby bridal shower

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    94

    Angry No baby bridal shower

    Ugh. We just drove 3 hrs to Chicago-land for my sis-in-law's bridal shower. Found out today that the people throwing the shower decided no babies are allowed. At all. It's not my family's decision; it's her fiance's, so they're fine. But I'm like...what??

    So basically I'll feed him before I go & the boys plus baby will join @ the end once we get to the gift opening part. Meanwhile the boys will be nearby in case baby needs me. So I'll still get him if he needs me partly because grandma says I can. But he's still eating every 2 hrs so I doubt I'll fully be able to keep the no baby rule. But it's so tempting to just be like no, I'm bringing him with me. Except that it's my inlaws' inlaws whom I've never met so I'm timid.

    And I know many of you would say to do just that, bring him anyway. But mostly I'm posting to vent & be grumpy.

    Because tomorrow we will just go with the flow, and if baby does need me, I'm taking him!! I'll also let my hubby know to not hesitate bringing him over, since it's not me who needs him gone. Baby gets easily tired and then grumpy and only a couple people can get him to sleep (not hubby). Hubby usuaLly gets in trouble for giving up too early, but tomorrow I don't care; I'm feeling at least a little rebellious!

    There are like 3 other new moms going to this shower; its a ridiculous rule!
    Anyway, now I'm rambling. But had to share. I'll let u know how it ends up going. :-p
    Mother to Seth, born 4/1/11: 5 lb. 13 oz.
    5/2/11 - 8 lb 12 oz. 6/1/11 - 11 lb 12 oz.
    7/1/11 - 14 lb *unofficial* 8/1/11 - 16 lb 3 oz
    10/3/11 - 18 lb

    Good job, growing boy!

    Weaned from a nipple shield in late July!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Posts
    713

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    bit hars h and sounds kinda snobby. like the one in charge doesnt know what its like to breastfeed a babay, or at the very least remember what its like to have a baby that needs mommy.. good luck and hope you have fun however long you can.
    Luna Justine: born January 20 th 6 am on the dot
    I did it! Now without the nipple shield 100% of the time Since 2/12

    We are now self-latching! .

    ing about . expecting to start in 2 weeks.

    Blame strange autocorrect if my posts come out weird. More often than not typing one handed on a "smart" object or just ing

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,471

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    Sorry you are dealing with this mama. Were babies invited at first and they changed their minds? This may not be popular but I'm of the opinion that if you throw a party you choose who comes and who doesn't and that includes kids. If your kids aren't invited and you aren't able to be without them, they you politely decline the invite.

    Good luck.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,982

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    The last-minute-ness of it (as you describe it) sucks. If you knew that no babies were invited before you drove all the way out there, you could have made other arrangements, or just said no. But it sounds like you've come up with the best possible compromise. (While I agree that you can invite who you want to a party, I think you have to be CRYSTAL clear about it, and not be surprised if parents of young children, however closely related to you, say "no.")


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,471

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    People invited are the people listed on the invite only. I.e Jane Doe, means only Jane....Jane Doe and Family means bring your kids.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
    Posts
    3,107

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jenna562 View Post
    Sorry you are dealing with this mama. Were babies invited at first and they changed their minds? This may not be popular but I'm of the opinion that if you throw a party you choose who comes and who doesn't and that includes kids. If your kids aren't invited and you aren't able to be without them, they you politely decline the invite.

    Good luck.
    I agree but the person that does the inviting also has to be sure that they do not judge anyone based on them not coming and take responsibility for people not coming.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,471

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    Not judge yes, but take responsibility that's a bit much. As a host of a kid free party, I'm not responsible for the actions of invitees, mearly of hosting all who come, we should all be responsible for ourselves, if someone doesn't attend for whatever reason, that's their business.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    94

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    I know what you mean about it's ok to invite just moms, etc. as a host, but again it's mostly that I had absolutely no notice.

    Also, especially breastfeeding, I have been working under the mindset that I AM MY BABY. We are one & the same right mow. Isn't that what attachment parenting is about?
    Mother to Seth, born 4/1/11: 5 lb. 13 oz.
    5/2/11 - 8 lb 12 oz. 6/1/11 - 11 lb 12 oz.
    7/1/11 - 14 lb *unofficial* 8/1/11 - 16 lb 3 oz
    10/3/11 - 18 lb

    Good job, growing boy!

    Weaned from a nipple shield in late July!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    23,875

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    Sorry, mama. I've been in your shoes- sort of. DH and I were invited to a family wedding, and we were not aware of that point of etiquette that Jenna mentioned. I assumed that an invitation would specifically say "adults only, please" if only adults were welcome. We had to cancel our tickets and we lost some money on them.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
    Posts
    3,107

    Default Re: No baby bridal shower

    What I meant was, if you as the host of a bridal shower decide to make a party baby free, when you know there are a few moms of very small babies invited you need to do the explaining when the bride gets teed off that people "didn't care enough" about her to come to the shower. (Yes this is personal experience but I have heard it from a lot of moms).
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

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