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Thread: And so it begins ...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Default And so it begins ...

    These days, Joe often expresses a preference for cow's milk over mama milks, and it makes me feel so sad, and sometimes a little hurt when he turns down the breast.

    I feel bad that I set so many limits on nursing, and I feel that I might have pushed him away a little too much (in my desire to avoid NIP, especially). But I do offer. So it has been his choice. For a long time, he was such a boob addict, I guess I never imagined he would voluntarily choose not to nurse before he was, I don't know, five?

    DH, who is a stay-at-home-dad and has been very supportive of nursing, is nonetheless definitely encouraging him in the direction of weaning, and doesn't seem to understand my mixed feelings. From his perspective, Joe is over two, and obviously he's not going to nurse forever, what is my problem? It's hard for me to argue, especially since DH puts in a lot more hours parenting than I do. I understand that with my schedule (I have to attend night meetings a couple times a month), it's a lot easier for DH if he can put Joe to bed with cow's milk. And now he's learned to expect/prefer it, and he specifically asks for dad to put him to bed. (Who knew this was even possible?)

    So now he really only nurses when he wakes up at night and in the early morning. I realize he could keep doing that for a very long time yet, and just because he only nurses a couple times a day doesn't mean he will wean right away. I never thought I would miss him constantly wanting to be in my lap, but I do. One aspect of Joe's toddlerhood seems to be an extreme DH-attachment, and now he rejects me (and my milkies) pretty frequently. Obviously, these things ebb and flow and you can't take it personally, but wow, it's harder than I expected!

    I am really glad that Joe is sleeping better, and that he now goes to bed peacefully for DH. I just didn't realize that was going to mean that he would reject the breast.

    Gah! MIXED FEELINGS. My baby is growing up!

    Thanks for listening.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    I'm sorry. As a working mom, nursing is such an important connection for me.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    SW Ohio
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    3,133

    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    Oh mama, I know what you mean! We are headed down a similar path... at 20 months, Mason is only nursing 2-3 times per day during the week (he is night-weaned and STTN, so no nighttime sessions) and maybe 1 extra nursing session per day on the weekend. And I feel so mixed about it! Ugh. My goal is to nurse him until he's at least 2, so I think we can make it there, but just lately, he has even stopped asking when we get home from work/daycare... he wants to immediately go outside to play instead of having our usual nursing session. I have even offered, and he just says "fing?" (his version of "swing") and wants to go outside instead. And he is my last baby, most likely, so I'm not ready for it to end.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    3,319

    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    It's so hard. And it's hard and comforting at the same time when they're that attached to their other parent and seem fine without us.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
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    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    Right this very moment I am very very jealous of you. and reassured to know that just because H nurses as much and as often as she can she won't always. But I know the torn feelings all too well. I also remember D weaning

    You guys have done a great job.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Texas
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    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    Sounds hard! I was just looking at Lillian today and realizing on a gut level that nursing really ISN'T going to last forever - that we're only going to have this relationship for (hopefully) another year or two, and then that'll be it. It was a pretty bittersweet thought. It must be tough to start experiencing it slowly beginning to fade
    Elizabeth, mama to Lillian - 10/03/10


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    I had a really hard day at work, and I just persuaded Joe to nurse before bed. He said no several times, but when I bared my breast and shoved it in his face, he couldn't resist and/or felt sorry for me. Well, I wouldn't be a mom if I didn't guilt trip my kid sometimes, right?


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    I did this w/DJ....instilled the Ambivilece myself and then sometimes would be like "But I wanna Nurse!!"

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Puyallup, WA
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    164

    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    My LO is 17 months and I get sad reading posts like this. Thankfully he is nursing 3-5 times during the day and frequently throughout the night still. I know this too will end one day and will be experience the same emotions as you! I hope I'm as strong as most of you mommas seem to be. Good luck to you, and hope it gets easier for you.
    Married to my superman 4-26-08
    Mommy to Landon 1-29-2010, who nursed for 4 years!
    Mommy to DD Sadie born May 2nd, 2014 and nursing like a champ!


    We all love and

  10. #10
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    Default Re: And so it begins ...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    I did this w/DJ....instilled the Ambivilece myself and then sometimes would be like "But I wanna Nurse!!"
    GAH. EXACTLY. That's how I feel: I had a few hard months, where my nipples were sore (prolly from a mild case of thrush), and so I avoided nursing and set more limits than I otherwise might have (because it hurt!). Naturally, after months of this, Joe has internalized the ambivalence, and now a bottle of milk is nicer for him (because it doesn't whine and complain and push him off after five minutes). Jeez. What have I done? Let this be a lesson to those of you who want to nurse for longer!
    Last edited by @llli*joe.s.mom; July 7th, 2011 at 12:16 PM.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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