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Thread: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

  1. #1
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    Default 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    My 21 month old son, who was down to nursing only 3-4 times a day a few months ago, has been ratcheting up his nursing, is now demanding to nurse constantly. CONSTANTLY. He loudly says, "I want ta-ta!" and pulls at my shirt at least every hour or two, at home and in public. Once I allow him to nurse, he stays on well past the point where there is no more milk coming out, which as you know is painful. He does this on both sides, though he vastly prefers the left breast for some unknown reason, and it's really sore now. If I make him stop b/c of my discomfort, or if I don't allow him to nurse b/c it's only been half an hour since the last time, he throws a screaming tantrum (which can involve hitting or kicking me). This often happens right before bed, which makes the whole thing take much longer because he has to calm down from crying before he can go to sleep, but it can happen any time of the day.

    What is going on???? Why is he being so clingy? I am not trying to wean at all, and I wouldn't mind it if he nursed until he was done, but it seems like anytime he thinks of it, he wants it, and he goes way past the point of comfort for me. This is causing a lot of tension for me and it is actually making me angry, b/c it hurts and he is so insistent and cranky if he doesn't get his way.

    Any advice would be appreciated.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    I don't mean to make it sound like my child is a wild brat or anything. He's very sweet and loving unless he wants to nurse and is thwarted. It's stressing me out!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    Do you think he has molars coming in?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Do you think he has molars coming in?
    This was my thought just reading the TITLE of your post. Ugh. I have been there. A lot of babies develop an almost "grinding" style of nursing when the molars are coming in, so you don't even need to be dry for it to get seriously annoying. However, it does pass. If you're not sure but think it might be teething, try some motrin or tylenol and see if that improves thing. If it does, that's a clue in itself. If it doesn't, nothing lost, you can address it more as a behavior thing, by setting some limits on the amount of time your LO nurses. At 21 month, he should be able to understand "Okay, all done! Let's go get a snack!"


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    My son has 4 molars already... are there more coming? This has been going on for at least a month. He does not have his canines or one lateral incisor, for some reason. I thought maybe it was behavioral? The fits he throws when he wants to nurse are getting pretty epic.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    They get molars at around two years too. So yes, there are more coming.

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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*shaolin.kitten View Post
    My son has 4 molars already... are there more coming? This has been going on for at least a month. He does not have his canines or one lateral incisor, for some reason. I thought maybe it was behavioral? The fits he throws when he wants to nurse are getting pretty epic.
    Yep, I think they get eight molars total, including the dreaded "two year old" molars. However, Joe was really bugged when his canines came in too, so who knows?

    It also could be behavioral. You can work on nursing manners even if there is teething going on, IMO. You can insist that they ask nicely, that they not grab you or shove hands down your shirt, etc. At this age, you can teach your toddler that nursing is not just about THEM, it's a relationship, and they have to treat mom gently and with respect if they want to nurse. You can also try to put him off for some nursings, offering a sippy or a snack.

    I won't lie. This process often involves some tantrums. But you know, kids this age will tantrum if you try to take a butcher knife away from them , so some of that may be inevitable. It takes a while for the rules to sink in, but they do, and often that can make nursing a much happier time for you, which is important if you want to nurse your child for a longer time.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    Is it weird that he would be getting second molars before his lateral incisor or canines? I am trying to tell him that the "ta-tas" (he came up with that word by himself, I swear!) are Mommy's body and to be gentle. He is just very, very insistent.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*shaolin.kitten View Post
    Is it weird that he would be getting second molars before his lateral incisor or canines? I am trying to tell him that the "ta-tas" (he came up with that word by himself, I swear!) are Mommy's body and to be gentle. He is just very, very insistent.
    I hear that!

    Some kids get their teeth in funny order. It could also be that he is bothered by the lateral incisor or canine coming in.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 21 month old nursing until it hurts me!

    Sometimes they come in a different order than normal. It is possible that he doesn't have those and will never get them. Unlikely, but possible.

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