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Thread: 2yo won't sleep without bf

  1. #1

    Default 2yo won't sleep without bf

    Help! My daughter just turned 2. We have been winding down the bf a little bit, but she can't go to sleep with out nursing (and twiddling). We are co-sleeping. I don't mind taking our time to wean, but I really want her to learn how to go to sleep by herself. Sometimes she will wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep and will want to nurse (and did I mention the twiddling?) for HOURS. I have been reading the No Cry Sleep Solution, and so far it has not provided helped with a solution to this specific issue. Any suggestions?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    I enjoyed the predictability of knowing that I could nurse my toddlers to sleep. when ever I felt doubtful of my own instincts I would envision my ancestors. I would ask myself., how did early man survive and what behaviors did the early mothers rely on to keep her precious children safe?
    Breastfeeding,
    but just like our ancestors we need our sleep and we need to set guidelines.
    "No twiddling mommas nipples, here is a toy to twiddle instead."
    love and kisses momma needs to sleep now. 4 of my children are now all grown and have left the nest. None of them nurse to sleep anymore.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  3. #3
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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    If you want to wean gently and let them take most of the lead with it, your best friend is going to be TIME.
    I am Lea (middle name)
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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    When my son was 2 we would breastfeed AND THEN I'd unlatch him and roll him over and we'd PRACTICE going to sleep on our own.

    Way too lazy for formula

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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    Plus I knew he could do it because I wasn't there for his nap every day and he'd still nap without my boob.

    Way too lazy for formula

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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    When my son was 2 we would breastfeed AND THEN I'd unlatch him and roll him over and we'd PRACTICE going to sleep on our own.
    We actually started that a little earlier, and he wasn't terribly happy about it right at first, but I was right there with him, snuggling and loving him. And he got it. And it was such a relief to me! Because we could still have our sleepy nursies, which we both loved, but there was no more pressure to nurse super long or unlatch just right. It made nighttime nursies so much more enjoyable.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    When my son was 2 we would breastfeed AND THEN I'd unlatch him and roll him over and we'd PRACTICE going to sleep on our own.
    We've been doing this for a long time. I don't usually bother for early morning feeds, which I can sleep through. I started with evening feeds, where I was hoping to leave Joe to sleep and go hang out with DH. And we just did this every night, for a long time. If he fussed a little, okay, but if he started crying incosolably, I'd put him back on the breast, and then we'd do it again. It was a slow process, but he has learned to go to sleep on his own, over months. Now even in the early morning, he will nurse then unlatch and go to sleep. And he tolerates me unlatching him much better. Good luck!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #8

    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    She still won't nap without me, unless it's in the car or stroller. How did you "practice?" We play "sleep" during the day, but she has a hard time of it in the evenings when she really just wants me to nurse her.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    You pop her off while still sleepy and roll her over while you are still there to hug her and lay with her. And if she fusses a little you rub her back and TALK her through it. Two is old enough to understand that the _____ *insert her word for your breasts.* Need to go sleep too. So tell her that. And if she is frustrated, love her. But you will find that if you stick to the script a 2 year old should "get it within a week to 10 days usually. It's a rule. Sort of like the *we only nurse at home rule." Add have you ever left her? Like needed to be gone for long enough for her not to wait it out? Because usually a child that old (younger even) understand that if mom is not there, there are no boobs to be had. And their need to sleep will prevail. A child won't expect a father or grandparent to nurse but will usually lay down with them and go to sleep anyways.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 2yo won't sleep without bf

    I had to nightwean my DD around the second trimester, she was a few months over 1 at the time. I also put limits on nursing to sleep when it got too painful. It took practice of unlatching her and turning her back to my tummy, whispering in her ear and rubbing her back. She resisted but eventually realized she could fall asleep without it, like she does at the crèche. I also made it a priority to take her to the park in the afternoon/evening to wear her out. It helped.
    Dr Jay's nightweaning served as a guide:
    http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

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