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Thread: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Default Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    DD is 8 months old, so this is a little early to be asking, but I am trying to mentally prepare myself. My goal has always been to breastfeed for 12 months, and for personal reasons I would still like to wean around that time. My family is supposed to be moving across the country (6 days of 10+ hours in the car) when DD is 15 months old. Is it crazy to try and wean her before that? I guess I am wondering if it is going to be easier to be able to breastfeed while we are driving across the country, and how difficult making sure she has milk or whatever else she needs is going to be if she is weaned. She is our only child, so I have no experience traveling with a baby who does not nurse. I really do not want to continue breastfeeding at that point, but I am also worried that I am going to regret weaning on day 4 of crying in the car. What would you do? How hard is it to travel with a weaned child? Any other thoughts? Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Nov 2008
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    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    I don't want to pressure you, but why don't you want to continue past 12 months? Your daughter won't know the difference or understand that some date has passed. 12 months is still very much a baby. You can introduce her to cows milk at 12 months, so you'll have a drink to offer in addition to water. But there are still so many changes (teething, molars, walking / falls, etc.) where having the breast to console her will be a Godsend.

    You may want to consider going by her queues, her needs, rather than some date on the calendar.

    http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/bre...lenges/weaning
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  3. #3
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    Good for you for nursing so long! I think if I were in your position I would consider nursing a little longer, mainly because with such a big move/upheaval nursing may be one thing that gets you both through. Then getting settled in a new place, new routine, etc, may be much easier with the familiar comfort of nursing. If you know you want to be done before you move, I would encourage you to time it (as much as possible) so that she's weaned well before the move, so that she isn't having to deal with both huge events at one time. Good luck!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    I have been aiming for the 12 month mark because I feel very tied down by nursing. My daughter will not take a bottle so I literally cannot be away from her ever for longer than 3 hours. It may sound selfish, but I want to be able to dress the way I want and not feel so frumpy anymore in my nursing clothes. I also want my hormones to get back to normal because I have no sex drive at all and I would really like to have my marriage back. We went through two years of fertility treatments, pregnancy, and now nursing, so we have not had a healthy bedroom life in close to 4 years. I have no intention of cutting her off cold turkey on her first birthday or anything, but I have needed to have an end point in mind in order to keep going. For the first 6 months I would say I hated nursing about 95% of the time and loved it 5%. Once she hit 6 months I started hating it less, but I still really do not like it part of the time. I guess those are my reasons for aiming for 12 months.

    All of that being said, I take no issue with people nursing for longer or anything. Just not something I wanted to do for personal reasons. I will consider not completely weaning until we are settled at our new location, but I am really going to have to do some soul searching on that one.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    I don't think that's selfish at all. When our babies are little, everything revolves around them of necessity (not that we don't want it to as well), but as they grow, we have to find the balance that works for us, and that includes making room for our other relationships. Whenever weaning happens, you've done an awesome thing for her, and doing whatever you need to for yourself and for your marriage is an awesome thing to do for you--and for her.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    I wouldn't wean during a move. Kids thrive on stability, and when everything else in the baby's world is up in the air, nursing will be her safe place, emotionally speaking. And when you're on the road, your kid's diet is likely to go to heck in a hand basket, so nursing will fill the gaps when she hasn't eaten anything but fries and cheez doodles for a few days.

    Bialy, I'm with the other mamas- make this decision when you're closer to a year. Everything can and will change SO much. When your LO is nursing less- potentially a lot less as she transitions to a majority-solids diet- you may realize that you can still nurse and get your bedroom life, your "normal" hormonal state, and your non-frumpy clothes back without needing to wean. And if not, we'll help you with weaning if that's what you need.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
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    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    with everyone else. It is totally understandable to want your sex life to become normal and to want to be away from your kid on occasion. A good thing to think about is that many (most) working moms pump wean at 12 months which means that their babies can go 9-10 hours without needing to nurse. That is sooo much more freedom than you have now. Even if you choose to only nurse 1-3 times a day (wake up, nap and bedtime maybe) you would have lots more freedom than you have now and you would have lots of flexibility for nursing while moving.

    Good luck
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    New York
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    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    Dear kit-kat,
    i completely relate to wanting your marriage back, your sex drive back and your wardrobe back. as your dd matures she will need you more in some ways and less in other ways. If she is one of those babies who is social, and as she matures goes on outings with her dad, and when she develops an appetite for solid food ,the process of weaning can be smooth and almost imperceptible.
    on a more personal note, lubricant is the magic secret ingredient to a nursing mom's sex life.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    64

    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    Thanks ladies. I guess I did not think about the fact that we could feed her mostly real food and just nurse at night. That sounds a lot more manageable than nursing every 2 hours all days like we do now.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,357

    Default Re: Timing weaning with big move, need some help from experienced Mommas!

    Yes! Toddler nursing can be so different from nursing a younger baby. You can feed solids instead of nursing, you can wean from certain feeds and retain others, you can teach your baby nursing manners... It's all the good elements of breastfeeding, with many fewer of the difficult ones.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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