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Thread: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Alabama
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    Default 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    My daughter is 4 weeks old. When she was born she was 8lbs 8oz and when we left the hospital she was 8lbs and 1oz. We had some latching issues from the beginning, but managed to feed okay for the most part. At her 2 week visit however, she hadn't gained any weight. They sent me to the breastfeeding class and had me back at 3 weeks but she still hadn't gained any. By this point I was already pretty upset and worried about her.

    The doctors wanted me to start giving her 3oz of formula 4 times a day after I nursed her but I told them no. I'd been pumping since my milk came in (I had tons and I'm going back to school this fall so I kept pumping the extra to keep my supply that high) and told them that if they felt it absolutely necessary that I would give her that, but that I was worried about giving her a bottle because she didn't latch well anyway. I wanted to try to give nursing a bit longer but the insinuation was that I was being neglectful and selfish if I didn't start giving her the bottles.

    That was last Wednesday. I started giving her bottles and she stopped wanting to latch on to me. Every feeding was a battle and because we were stuffing her with the nursing and bottles, she was nursing less and my supply went down dramatically. We went back Friday and she had gained 5oz. I decided to try and nurse two extra times a day and take away two of the bottles because it was just not working the other way.

    She's latching somewhat better again and my milk supply is back up, but it's still a battle and I am just so upset and frustrated I don't know what to do. She starts off the morning fine, but as the day goes on, she stops wanting the breast. She arches away and screams like I'm killing her. When I do get her latched on she gulps and chokes and by the end of the feeding we're both crying and upset. I'm just not sure what to do. She's never quite gotten the hang of it and things have just gotten much worse over the last week. I'm confused because she can feed perfectly fine some times, and so horribly other times. I don't don't what is wrong or what to do or try to make things better and I'm feeling like a failure. I nursed my first girl for 6 1/2 months and never had a single problem, what's so wrong this time?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    1,293

    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    hi mama! congrats on the baby, she is still so little.

    you are not a failure!

    I would say get an IBCLC to come and help. it will put your mind at ease to have hands on help.

    you say she gulps and chokes. could it be oald maybe nurse in a reclined position, i have heard that helps. some other mamas will know more about that.


    here are some videos and links:

    http://beta.breastfeedinginc.ca/cont...agename=videos

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/bas...resources.html

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Montreal
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    2,313

    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    Oh mama! I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

    When and how often do you pump?

    The gulping and choking sounds like it could be OALD (over active let down - which is basically a realy forceful flow when the milk ejection begins) but it's strange that it happens at some times and not others. When she comes off at that point does your milk spray all over?

    Do you burp often? Some babies need to be burped more.

    I wish I had more suggestions for you. I hope somene else chimes in soon! Hang in there. You will get a lot of advice and support here.
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    I think the reason sometimes a baby pops on and off when a mom has OALD depends on how well the baby is latched to begin with. Sometimes they are on there in such a way that the OALD doesn't bother them, and they can deal with it. Other times, they can't take it, and it frustrates them, and they pop off and cry.

    Also, if mom starts on the same breast she ended with, the OALD may not be as powerful, and baby can deal with it.

    I personally dealt with OALD by starting the flow by hand or a pump, letting the worst go into a towel and then putting baby on. Or getting baby to start it, and then letting a towel catch the worst of it (and helping along with compression) and then putting baby back to the breast. And I tended to start with the breast I ended with the last session, so baby got hind milk faster and didn't have the awful OALD quite as strongly. Reclining nursing never worked well for me, but positioning can make a difference as well.

    The other thing that comes to mind for me when a baby is popping on and off is reflux. Even my bottlefed baby does that when he's having what we call an 'acid attack' here in my house.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    43

    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*babylove View Post
    Oh mama! I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

    When and how often do you pump?

    The gulping and choking sounds like it could be OALD (over active let down - which is basically a realy forceful flow when the milk ejection begins) but it's strange that it happens at some times and not others. When she comes off at that point does your milk spray all over?

    Do you burp often? Some babies need to be burped more.

    I wish I had more suggestions for you. I hope somene else chimes in soon! Hang in there. You will



    get a lot of advice and support here.




    I agree.. Maybe yor LO need burp...

  6. #6
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    Jul 2011
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    Alabama
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    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    Thanks for the support I stopped pumping at our 2 week appt when they said she wasn't gaining weight. I'd only been pumping once a day anyway so I just tried to feed her that extra time. When we mentioned at her 3 wk appt that we had milk pumped, they made me feel so bad about it that I haven't pumped again. :\ I think I'll try expressing a bit before feeding today though to see if it helps some.

    And she is an EXTREMELY gassy baby so we do have to burp her often. Both my kiddos are as windy as my husband...I'm doomed! LOL

  7. #7
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    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sunshine29 View Post
    When we mentioned at her 3 wk appt that we had milk pumped, they made me feel so bad about it that I haven't pumped again.
    what did they make you feel bad about?

  8. #8
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    Jul 2011
    Location
    Alabama
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    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    They kept telling me that there was "no reason for the baby to be hungry and losing weight" so I could store milk. That's not true though! I feed her every 2-3 hours and she's happy and satisfied. They were convinced I was either not feeding her or not feeding myself (because I'm small again already). My husband had to step in and tell them to back off because they wouldn't believe me. I left there so upset that I just quit pumping.

    I went to the doctor again yesterday and she'd only gained an ounce since Friday, but she's only about an ounce away from her birth weight now. Did it take anyone else's newborn a long time to gain back their weight?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Home of the 82nd Airborne Division
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    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    Hi there.

    My LO was just barely above birth weight at 4 weeks. He had lost about 12% to begin with. We are still struggling with his weight gain 6.5 months later. Well, his doctors seem to think so.

    I would also recommend seeing an IBCLC. Also, are they using the same scale every time they weigh the baby?
    I'm Sarah. Mom to Emily (1/27/05) and Jack (12/29/10)
    Wife to Joshua (3/6/08)
    We and

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Alabama
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    Default Re: 4 weeks and completely frustrated

    They are. I saw the lactation consultant at the hospital (it's military so everything is at the hospital) a few weeks ago, but she wasn't much help and later on was one of the ones convinced I was either starving myself or my baby. I'd like to find a IBCLC outside the base but I'm not sure how to find one. Any ideas?

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