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Thread: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    a little village with some trees, people, and a canal in it, Derbyshire, England
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    Default am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    hi mamas,

    my ds is 18 mo and still nurses a lot round the clock.

    He has started asking for it even before and after meals again, as well as an early morning feed (following night nursing and so on). Basically, a LOT.

    His appetite seems to have taken a dip and I'm wondering about this, even though i know bm is fantastic! i guess i'm just worrying about just feeding him milk all the time.

    Should i be imposing some limits? sometimes, if i really don't feel like it and he accepts it fine then i do say no, we'll wait til after bath for example (this is when bathtime is only 30 mins away!)

    Other times though he is so upset that i can't refuse and he is saying 'please' now too, so with such good manners ..

    I don't want to wean... i am doing blw...but i'm just starting to worry that I'll make him think he can have whatever he wants, whenever he wants it and he'll grow up all selfish and spoilt because i gave him the breast whenever he asked for it.

    this is hard for me to think about esp when so many people can put their opnions across about needing to wean a toddler.

    please reassure me mamas

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,621

    Default Re: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    Do what works for you, there really isn't a wrong or right.

    I now tell my daughter to wait until after bath if it's within an hour of bath time but otherwise she typically gets to nurse when she asks unless we're out and I say wait until we get home.

    Just make sure you have other fun things you do together, too, like reading stories, coloring, stacking blocks or whatever else you like to do.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,643

    Default Re: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*homeopathicbaby View Post
    Should i be imposing some limits? sometimes, if i really don't feel like it and he accepts it fine then i do say no, we'll wait til after bath for example (this is when bathtime is only 30 mins away!)

    Other times though he is so upset that i can't refuse and he is saying 'please' now too, so with such good manners ..
    If your child will sometimes accept that he has to take no for an answer, and must use good manners when he asks to nurse, then you have imposed a very gentle and reasonable system of limits. At this age, placing limits on nursing means you figure out what you are comfortable with and then balance that against your baby's needs and desires. Don't worry what other people say or think. Opinions are like armpits- everyone has them, and most of the time, they stink!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    If your child will sometimes accept that he has to take no for an answer, and must use good manners when he asks to nurse, then you have imposed a very gentle and reasonable system of limits. At this age, placing limits on nursing means you figure out what you are comfortable with and then balance that against your baby's needs and desires. Don't worry what other people say or think. Opinions are like armpits- everyone has them, and most of the time, they stink!


    I actually didn't put limits on Lilah's nursing until she was 2 years old and I started to wean her due to pregnancy... and I wish I had tried sooner. Sometimes it can be tiring to nurse an 18 month old or 22 month old etc. 10 to 15 times a day.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    Teaching manners and delayed gratification IS setting limits.

    But basically, whatever is working for both of you is great. If you enjoy nursing on demand, nurse on demand. If you feel like something isn't working, then just know that you CAN set limits.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,570

    Default Re: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    I agree with PPs. I also would not be worried about the nutritional aspect either.


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: am i wrong to set no limits on nursing?

    I agree. It is totally what you are comfortable with. My 19 month old nurses all the time and although I want to set more limits, he doesn't really have any now. He has been teething and sick and one thing after another so I have felt bad setting any limits with him. I don't think it's harmful to him at all, just frustrating for me sometimes when he nurses 18 million times a day.

    As far as nutrition, I worry about this too. DS2 is anemic, so it's hard to try to get him to eat iron rich solids if he is nursing constantly. I am glad that he is nursing though because he gets more iron from BM than from cow's milk. If you are concerned though, you can always have your LO tested for iron since that is a common deficiency. It's a simple toe prick in a lot of pediatricians' offices and it didn't both DS2 very much when he's had it done.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

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