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Thread: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Oklahoma
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    Default family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    I have gently fought my family (Dh and his family of all women who formula fed) since Ben was 1 that breastfeeding is the best for him and its good to continue.. and they have come to back me up after lots of discussion about it. We all adore him and want whats best. But for some reason they still think that he should wean at 2.
    Yesterday they were like.. "Yep, only 4 more months Ben! Then you'l be a big boy and won't need du duhs anymore!"
    Comments like that make me feel like the battle is about to begin. I am in no hurry to wean him and say that to them all the time.

    Chris has always been supportive of his being breastfed. He agrees that you can tell a big difference in breastfed babies and agrees its cheaper, easier, and emotionally what he needs.
    Chris's mom has been so impressed with how healthy Ben has always been and how smart he is and how much he loves snuggling up with me to nurse. Even now she'll say that he just needs to nurse sometimes when he's cranky.

    So WHHHHYYY do they think that 2 is some magic number where he won't need it?
    UGGHHHH

    I am just venting I guess and dreading the big battle when I say nope we're gonna keep going. It would probably be easier if his mom didn't watch Ben while I work and didn't live with us...

    Chris says he is tired of hearing my lectures about breastfeeding (Which happen all the time lol i guess as I love talking about it due to studying for IBCLC exam...)

    I keep saying yeah I want him to do it slowly though and make it HIS choice not ours as its such a big deal to him emotionally. they agree they don't want to stress him out. So at least we're on the same page there.

    Oh I just want to cry when they say "only 4 more months!"....
    Kristin

    Momma to Benjamin, we recently made it nursing to age 2!!!!

    Benjamin born 9-17-09

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    2,627

    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    seriously, they need to be quiet and not tell your son things like that, it's rude and undermining what you want as a mother. How can you communicate that to them so they actually listen?

    Yes in 4 months you'll be nursing a 2 year old! And if your toddler is anything like mine, it will be quite a while before he's done with nursing because he enjoys it so much!

    My daughter will be 2 next month and she has cut back somewhat but I don't think she's anywhere near weaning, not even night weaning....if anyone bothers me about it I'll just say it's between the two of us, and I don't really want their opinion or advice. We're happy so why do they care?
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
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    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    sorry! It's hard when its family and you want to maintain some kind of good relationship with them so you can't get too ...

    Have you ever thought about asking them next time they make that 4 months comment something like : "Just curious, why does it matter to you so much that Ben is weaned at 2 years old?" Just to see what their reasoning behind it is. I wonder if they even have a reason?! Like you said 2 isn't a magic number.

    Good luck, and good luck on your exam too!
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  4. #4
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    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*oakdryad5 View Post
    sorry! It's hard when its family and you want to maintain some kind of good relationship with them so you can't get too ...

    Have you ever thought about asking them next time they make that 4 months comment something like : "Just curious, why does it matter to you so much that Ben is weaned at 2 years old?" Just to see what their reasoning behind it is. I wonder if they even have a reason?! Like you said 2 isn't a magic number.

    Good luck, and good luck on your exam too!
    Yep this is what I was going to say. A simple "wow you really seem to be thinking a lot about my nursing Ben, why are you so preoccupied with it? "

    See what they say
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
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    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    I know how you feel. My family thought I was crazy when I wanted to nurse my son past one. But I explained all the health benefits and that I planned to try to make it to two years old. Now he is 33 months and usually nurses 4-6x a day still. They are all amazed because they have never seen a nursing toddler. I think they are starting to realize that he is normal and I am not "messing him up for life" nursing him so long. He is well adjusted and behaves like his cousins except he doesn't throw the tantrums they do because when he gets stressed out he has a way to calm himself down and that's nursing. I am also an IBCLC so I don't let criticism sway me. I recently sent my sister an article about the benefits of toddler breastfeeding and she admitted she is starting to see how and why you could nurse a toddler her son is 7 months. So hopefully in the future I won't be the only one in the family who nursed a toddler that's how it starts. You might inspire the other women in the family if they have more children. Good luck on your IBCLC Boards.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    I found that after they got older then to nursing became something private between just me and the child. Everybody assumed that she was weaned. I Closed the breastfeeding subject with my mil before she was a year old. I refused to talk about it with her.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*andrea.wolford View Post
    I Closed the breastfeeding subject with my mil before she was a year old. I refused to talk about it with her.
    didnt that seem fishy to her?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    Just respond to Ben (since they're talking to him and not you) and say "That's not true Honey, there's no time limit on du duh's." look at them, smile sweetly and change the topic.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*milkylucy View Post
    didnt that seem fishy to her?
    Shes my mil.. this is the same lady that told her other dil to give 4 month old baby jello water when he was sick with a fever and said baby got so sick he had to go to the childerns hospital with a red stained but..

    Anything she had to say about parenting or most other subjects

    takes 2 to argue and fight.. and any evidance or facts she didn't care about, she fed my hubby carnation milk from a can from day one.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,144

    Default Re: family pressure to wean at 2.. sigh

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*amysmom View Post
    Just respond to Ben (since they're talking to him and not you) and say "That's not true Honey, there's no time limit on du duh's." look at them, smile sweetly and change the topic.
    I like this! You could also finish up by turning to them, and saying sweetly "Please don't confuse Ben about the du duhs, weaning is really between him and me, not you and him and me," and then changing the subject.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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