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Thread: no support in nursing a 22 month old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Independence, OR
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    Unhappy no support in nursing a 22 month old

    I have a 22 month old daughter who is still nursing, I’m perfectly fine nursing her still but my in-laws and grandparents want me to stop nursing because they say she is to “old” and its "embarrassing", and "harmful" becuase she is not getting the right Nutrients from food but I do give her a multivitamin everyday and she eats solids just fine…
    This is very frustrating to me and very upsetting, my husband will not support me in continuing to breastfeeding either, is
    Continuing to nurse her harmful to her?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    here's a great link

    Flu season is what kept me nursing my dd.

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    5,883

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    The World Health Organization recommends AT LEAST two years and beyond.

    The American Academy of Pediatrics has a statement on human milk found here.


    http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...rics;115/2/496

    And they write specific to nursing beyond infancy:

    Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.185

    Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother, especially in delaying return of fertility (thereby promoting optimal intervals between births).196*
    There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.197*

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    19,890

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    Sixyearplan beat me to the punch with the AAP article! Here are some more that may be useful to you:
    http://pubs.acs.org/cen/coverstory/86/8639cover.html
    http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m...6/ai_20135603/
    http://www.whale.to/a/steinkraus.html
    http://www.americanscientist.org/iss...ge=5&css=print

    Your family is 100% wrong. Continuing to nurse confers significant health benefits to both you and your baby.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
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    818

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    I don't have any more data to add to the huge pile of evidence that your family is wrong, but I wanted to add, that even after you point that out, they might move on to some other reason *they* don't like it, but the important point is what you already said, you are fine with it, and they are your breasts, so you have the last say.
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    USA
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    36

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    Ash, just wanted to let you know you're not alone; I'm in a similar situation.

    Fortunately, my DH is cool with me nursing up through age 2, but he does think that anything beyond that is kind of weird. His dad and stepmom (who live less than 15 minutes away) are aghast that we've gone this long (though they try to be polite and not say anything).

    Stepmom-in-law is a bit of a disappointment to me on this issue, because she has a masters' degree in Nursing and is working on her doctorate. But pediatrics isn't her field, and she formula-fed all her children. (Didn't have much choice, really; long story.) When hubby and I needed to have a conversation with her regarding breastfeeding/formula-feeding differences a couple of weeks ago, she flat out refused to believe we knew what we were talking about!!! (Politely, nicely, and rationally refused, mind you, but I still left that one quite upset.)

    So, you're not alone, but as oakdryad hinted, pointing out that you're right may not help much, at least where the in-laws are concerned. I was able to use the fiasco at my in-laws' as a springboard for talking things out with Hubby, and we found some weaning goals we could both agree on. In return, I've got his emotional support where his folks are concerned: he says it's their problem, not his, and they can get over it!

    Sorry this is so long, but I want to wish the same for you: I hope you're able to take the information you've found here and use it to find a comfortable ground with your hubby. Then you will both be in a much better position to face the well-meaning, more shortsighted members of the family!

    ETA: I should confess that pointing out you're right DOES feel good when you can find a way to get away with it!!! I got to do that next day w/mil after our pediatrician confirmed what we had said. I did it politely in an e-mail (so that I could keep it polite), but it still felt great. So I wish some of that for you, too!
    Last edited by @llli*mama.jen; June 8th, 2011 at 08:15 PM.
    Mama Jen

    Mom to:
    Happy Toddler, 19 months, still bfeeding
    Late Son, passed at age 8, bfed 5 months
    Daughter the Elder, age 19 yrs, bfed for 22 months

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    928

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    Sorry you're not getting the support you need. You've already been sent great links to relevant info about the benefits. I just wanted to share my experience.

    MIL was not supportive at first, having FF her own children. I think BF even an infant made her uncomfortable, but a toddler? I told her I had made my decision to continue nursing based on what I considered to be convincing information. I allowed that other perfectly reasonable people had made different decisions, even with access to the same information - each mother has to draw her own conclusions and do what she thinks is best for her child. (ETA: because some people find it really hard to accept that you are doing something different from what they did and take it as a criticism of what they did) I invited her to read the books I had read and let me know what she thought. She borrowed the Sears Breastfeeding book and became my most ardent supporter.

    My own mother, on the other hand, will never understand and will never agree. To make it worse, she's a retired midwife and pediatric nurse so of course she knows everything and you can't tell her anything. She has a masters in knowing-it-all and a PhD in denying-the-facts. I've just given up trying to get her to listen to reason. I wish it were otherwise, but I'm not going to argue or break my heart over my mother's lack of support. I've decided to just agree to disagree. It's my child and I know what's best.

    Good luck
    Emma

    J from Aug '06 to Nov '08 and S from April 2009

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    Where they keep it weird
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    1,182

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    You've gotten some good advice in the previous posts. Just let your child's love of nursing be all the support and reason you need.
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

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  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
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    1,164

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*purplemonkey View Post

    My own mother, on the other hand, will never understand and will never agree. To make it worse, she's a retired midwife and pediatric nurse so of course she knows everything and you can't tell her anything. She has a masters in knowing-it-all and a PhD in denying-the-facts. I've just given up trying to get her to listen to reason. I wish it were otherwise, but I'm not going to argue or break my heart over my mother's lack of support. I've decided to just agree to disagree. It's my child and I know what's best.

    Good luck
    Just out of curiosity - what does she think?? That it's bad??

    I'm sorry you are having a hard time, mama. I don't think you'll ever regret following your heart and nursing. For me, I would later regret giving in to pressure when my heart told me otherwise. Follow your heart.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,584

    Default Re: no support in nursing a 22 month old

    I'm nursing my 22 mo old now and I'm sure there are extended family members who are completely unfamiliar with it and would have weird things to say, but it is SO good for my daughter.

    I will say, though, when we went to my grandma's (Which we do once or twice a year), dd didn't nurse and she nursed in the car on the way there and back (just a few hr visit) and my grandma didn't say anything about her nursing because she doesn't know she does anymore. So sometimes I do delay her nursing and then nobody has to know what she does at home. I'm not saying I'm hiding it, I'm really quite pleased that she's going strong but sometimes there is a place for not saying what you're doing and then nobody can criticize.

    In the end, though, it's between you and your child. They can be quiet about it and you know it's what's best. I'm sure this won't be the only thing our families will find fault in.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

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