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Thread: A jumble of questions!

  1. #1

    Red face A jumble of questions!

    Hello all!

    First off, my little sweetie Aine Lynn is 6 weeks old! We have battled my flat nipples, now it seems we are up against a forceful letdown.. Well, that's my issue, I'm not sure what is going on, but the term seemed to describe it.

    I am pretty sure we have hit the 6 week growth spurt, DD nurses at least every hour and a half during the day and I get a break at night for about 3 hours starting at the 10 pm mark and frequent feeding re-starting after 6 am. I was only having this issue during the wee hours of the morning feedings but it had begun to occur with each session. Baby girl begins to nurse and with letdown she begins to gulp and sputter, then pulls off coughing and upset .
    When I remove the breast milk POURS, and we are talking torrential breast milk flood, fill up a nursing pad, onesie and my shirt soaked, WET.
    She has been more gassy lately, gripe water and leg bicycling helps, but she seems so fussy in the evening.. We are trying different positions to slow the flow but i am just hoping someone will indicate that this too shall pass!

    I apologize for the length of this.. I must keep going, I need so much advice!

    Secondly, and less breast feeding related-- does anyone have experience is baby-wearing? How much is too much? My DD literally screams when I set her off to do her own thing in her bouncy chair or swing. This has resulted in me walking about with her attached to me in the sling the majority of the time. I give her tummy time every day too, but she tolerates it for a few minutes then we are back to wearing. I don't mind at all, in fact I love having her in the sling with me! I just do not want this to be abnormal or negligent of me as I have received several comments from my mother and MIL about how she needs to learn how to "be by herself, you need to not have her on you all the time.."

    And lastly.. (forgive me mommas) has anyone experienced an unsupportive husband when it came to BF'ing your baby, how did you resolve this?? My husband was completely on board with BF when I was PG, that it's best for baby and me! And now I feel rejected by him.. We were recently out to eat and DD began to whine. With this growth spurt she cluster feeds like crazy, and otherwise detests being left in her carrier. I went to the bathroom and nursed her for a minute. Came back out, she began the crying. My husband told me not to be "one of those people" and told me to go to the car and nurse the baby so as not to disturb anyone while he and my step daughter finished their meal..
    Maybe I should not feel like he was ashamed of me and DD, but it's just growing frustration.. When I try to talk to him about it all ge can do is talk about how his ex-wife didnot have these issues with their child and I must be doing something wrong. Or that I am spoiling the baby.

    Again.. Sorry for the length! I'm just so relieved I found this forum!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    I'm just gonna answer one before bed. Baby wearing very often is fine, especially at that age. You will find as she gets older she may like to kick around with you on the floor or watch you make food while in a bouncer, et , but don't worry about baby wearing too much at this point.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  3. #3
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*momma-dina View Post
    ...I have received several comments from my mother and MIL about how she needs to learn how to "be by herself, you need to not have her on you all the time.."
    I either carry or wear my 5 week old all the time: same reason, he cries if he's put down at all. If you're happy, I wouldn't worry about it. Personally, I've found that my MIL is critical of any parenting practices that decrease her time playing with, babysitting, or holding the baby. (Not saying that's the case for you.)

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*momma-dina View Post
    And lastly.. (forgive me mommas) has anyone experienced an unsupportive husband when it came to BF'ing your baby, how did you resolve this??
    I'm sorry your husband said that to you (both about nursing in the car and his ex): that would have really upset me, too. My husband was also very supportive in theory and less comfortable supporting the actual practice. Personally I just nurse in public (i.e. I would have just nursed the baby at the table in the restaurant), and he got used to it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    This is just a short quote from askdrsears regarding the babywearing

    "A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity."
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  5. #5
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    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*momma-dina View Post
    And lastly.. (forgive me mommas) has anyone experienced an unsupportive husband when it came to BF'ing your baby, how did you resolve this?? My husband was completely on board with BF when I was PG, that it's best for baby and me! And now I feel rejected by him..
    I experienced a bit of this. DH was super supportive of BFing when I was PG but then we hit some road bumps in the beginning. We had to supplement a little with formula and I was pumping all the time. I was stressing myself out, and I felt that when I neded DH's support the most, he kept saying that "maybe we need to give him another bottle" and "how do you know you have milk?" It was killing me. A few weeks later though, after it was clear that DS was satisfied after BFing and we didn't need to supplement anymore, he has gotten much better. Every time that I had confronted him about it, he claimed that he was still in support of breastfeeding. I think I had just misunderstood his concern for DS for a lack of faith in me. It sucked big time.

    Your DD might just be going through a growth spurt right now, and her cluster feedings in the evening will get better. As DD gets bigger and less hungry all the time, I hope that your DH is more onboard with BFing soon!
    ~ Megan

    Mommy to Alex (born 2/27/11) and Katie (born 3/31/14)

  6. #6

    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    Thank you for all the responses so far!

    I feel a lot better about wearing my girl around so much now! I can wait until she is big enough to stick her legs out the bottom of our Ergo and Mei Tai. The only thing she will allow me to carry her in is a Snugli because her legs get to come out. I have the infant insert for my Ergo, but she hated the froggy legs inside of it, and we also live in deep south Alabama right on the bayou so we are dealing with 103 degree weather every day now and it's just tooooo hot to stick her in the insert.
    Same issue with mei tai, she can't stand for her feet to be confined but she isn't big enough to stick them out the sides.

    My MIL is also critical of my parenting style.. My DD does not go to anyone else aside from me for very long, it gets blamed on my baby wearing and co sleeping. She keeps telling me to let my 6 week old to "cry it out, let her cry" and I just CAN NOT do that as long as there is something I can do to soothe her. My husband seems to agree with MIL.
    She's not even 2 months yet, I don't think she is
    old enough to be manipulative or spoiled.

    I hope the rift seals between DH and I. Every time we are asked about the choice to BF, he replies that he thinks we are going to begin supplementing formula. He never says that to me though, especially when i tell him I don't plan on weaning for AT LEAST a year. It's just been a bit stressful and I've not been able to talk about it. All my mommy-friends formula fed and my sisters is a doula with a very supportive husband.

    I need to work on my discreet public feeding techniques I suppose to hopefully show my DH that I can still "hang out" with him too.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    Have you run across this link on oversupply and fast letdowns? http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html. Try the positioning tricks first, and if they don't help, you may want to progress to block feeding. You may not need to block feed during all times of day- remember that prolactin levels and milk supply fluctuate all day long, with most moms having the highest prolactin levels and milk supply in the night and early morning, and the lowest levels/supply in the late afternoon and evening. I often block fed at night and in the morning, and then needed to offer both breasts in the evening.

    I am with the PPs regarding holding your baby. You cannot do it too much. I know some people believe that babies should be left on their own to cry and fuss because they think that will make the baby independent and less demanding. Not true. That is bad advice from the days of yore (I am sure your MIL would love to hear that! ).

    Regarding your issues with your DH, I hope thatyou will stand your ground, continue to nurse where you feel comfortable, and remind him that you are not his ex-wife... Which is something he should be grateful for! If you like, you can direct him here. We'll be more than happy to set him straight, as gently as we can. He might get hit with a few s, but he's a big boy and I bet he can take it!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
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    Default Re: A jumble of questions!

    Great advice from the PPs. Your forceful letdown won't hurt your baby, but if it's bothering her, you can let down into a towel or cloth diaper and then try to latch her back on. I also had a torrential flow of breastmilk, and poor Joe looked like a frat boy desperately trying to gulp from a beer bong. So we called me the "boob bong." Hey, you have to laugh, right? After two months or so (maybe it was three), he grew into the fast flow and it became no problem.

    It's really challenging when you feel that your loved ones are not supportive of breastfeeding, especially in the early days. Things won't always be this intense with your LO, though. In just another month or two, she will space out her feedings more, and probably accept other people holding her better too. When Joe was a newborn, he wouldn't let me put him down or pass him off to anyone besides DH. It was a lot of work. Wearing him really helped, and now he's pretty independent. I mean, he won't let me hold his hand AT ALL, no sirree, he wants to WALK BY HIMSELF. It's always something!

    Hold your own. It's not your DH's decision to make. If he doesn't like it, too bad. Couples don't always agree on things. Of course, you can take his feelings into consideration, but it's not appropriate for him to speak to your friends on your behalf, saying you plan to supplement, without checking with you first. Not cool.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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