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Thread: Bleem

  1. #1

    Default Bleem

    That, evidently, is a mathematical term for the otherwise unnamed number when you've run out of 3 but haven't quite reached 4, and that, according to Lorenzo, is how old he is because somehow he got it in his mind that he would need to stop nursing when he turned 4 and he simply isn't ready to go cold turkey. So, ask him how old he is, and he says, "I'm bleem." (Ask, "Are you hungry?" and he will answer, "I am ALWAYS hungry." And mention sleep at all and he says, "I NEVER sleep, not even for one second, ever.")

    He is, however, actively trying to wean himself, trying so hard to go without asking for that nursing just before bedtime that lets him close his eyes and drift away to whatever it is he does that isn't sleeping. When he has had a tough day, or isn't feeling well, he just asks straight away, but otherwise there is this unspoken moment each night where the question, "Can I have some Mama milk?" lingers unspoken and a look of what seems to me a combination of longing and determination sweeps across his face. When I see it, I offer alternatives I know he likes -- a massage, the option of having his lantern on in his sleeping cave with a book or a toy car, dancing, or just snuggling (which at first he couldn't do because it was too much like nursing). Sometimes he goes to sleep quickly, sometimes it takes an hour or more, and we just lie there together knowing that things are changing and that he is working to be the director of his own life even when it isn't so easy to do so.

    He doesn't like to talk about it, which is fine, as we long ago developed an unspoken language between us -- observing each other so closely for so long as he nursed, as we sat up through the nights, as he attached himself to me like the tiny forget-me-not seed pods that cling to our legs when we walk in the meadow when he was faced with a big uncertain world. He is able to read my face with a glance, and I his, and it is clear to me that he has made up his mind and yet also needs the assurance that doing so does not mean leaping from a cliff into the unknown, that he is building his confidence in the way he always has -- by dipping a toe in the water, then stepping back to dry land, then a whole foot, then back, then a leg, and back, until eventually his whole body is immersed.

    So for now, my son is bleem -- no longer 3, but not quite 4; no longer really nursing, but not quite weaned. He is Lorenzo, so clearly himself, so well guided by his own internal compass, and so skilled at teaching me to watch it all unfold.
    Mama to Lorenzo, born 4/25/2007. NICU graduate, Gastro-Esohapgeal Reflux, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Sensory Processing Disorder...alive and thriving thanks to breastfeeding and co-sleeping.

    Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
    Chinese Proverb

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Bleem

    how neat...

    Give him a big hug for me...

    Tell him its ok to not be weaned, sarah was like that too, after the pressure of "the day"
    was over a month or so later she was ready.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,197

    Default Re: Bleem

    We're right there with you, as usual, although, never as poetic. Growing up is a really big job, bigger than a lot of adults acknowledge. Thank you for recognizing Lorenzo's journey and his work, and for being a constant reminder to the rest of us to do the same for our babies.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
    Posts
    3,113

    Default Re: Bleem

    I am sitting here with tears running down my face and my baby stroking my face.

    That was beautiful. And so is Bleem.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,983

    Default Re: Bleem

    Lorenzo, you are such a lovely, lovely boy, whatever your age.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: Bleem

    Chills.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,081

    Default Re: Bleem

    Aw, that was just wonderful to read. You are such an amazing mama to such an amazing little boy.
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,469

    Default Re: Bleem

    Why did he decide he needed to wean?

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    The Yellow House
    Posts
    697

    Default Re: Bleem

    Beautifully written, mama. to you and Lorenzo. What a sweet, sweet boy!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    381

    Default Re: Bleem

    This post made me

    Wonderful description of self directed weaning and a beautiful extended bf experience. TFS
    Mom to Taiga born 6/2010

    Pocket cloth diapers. Baby led solids. Full-time working mom. I my DH, DD, kitty Dr. Benway, and my working border collie Odin!
    BF for 1 year and she and I still love it !!!!

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