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Thread: Positive psychology regarding weaning

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    195

    Default Positive psychology regarding weaning

    Lots of the posts here are from mommies who are sad that it may be time to wean. DS is only 7 1/2 months and I have no plans to start the weaning yet. I know when I think about the future and that someday DS will be done BF'ing, it makes me sad too.

    But my question is this: What are some thoughts that women have used to make weaning something positive about growth, as opposed to sadness and separation? I just thought I'd see if anyone has hints on how to throw a positive spin on it.

    Thoughts?
    ***********
    Mommy to William, 4/29/09, 7 lbs 13 oz, 21 inches.
    Mommy to Evan, 3/18/06. 7 lbs 3 oz, 21 1/4 inches.
    Nursed both boys to 14 months
    Birth Doula
    Wisconsin!

    ***********

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    281

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    I think the best way to describe the way I felt as a feeling of ambivalence. Although I was sad that our breastfeeding relationship was coming to an end, I was glad to finally get my body back. And even though I was sad that I no longer had boobie in my bag of tricks, I was finally able to go out for an evening with friends without having to be home to nurse my lo to sleep.

    Overall, the positive things that I take from our weaning experience outweigh the sadness. Since my son weaned on his own at 15 months, I have been able to bond with him in all new ways, which has been pretty exciting. I get a whole lot more hugs and kisses during times when we would have been nursing before. My husband is also glad that he is now getting to help put ds to bed more often now. I am just really glad that I was able to walk away from bfing this child knowing that I gave him the best possible start.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,437

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    In western culture, we are conditioned to think of weaning as something negative...as depriving the child of something...as a loss...as something to "just get over with", like ripping off a band aid.

    Historically, though, perceptions of weaning have not been that way. When a need is met, it goes away. Weaning is a completion...a fulfillment...an occassion to be celebrated as the child grows up and naturally moves on to other things.

    Not saying that it might not still be sad for mama...but first-day-of-school sad, or mother-of-the-groom sad...not funeral sad.

    kwim?

    Tiana

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    195

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    Am I ever glad I posted the question, because the two pp's have posted with exactly the type of information/perspective I was hoping to hear. Maybe more will share how they've gotten through it. Thank you both!
    ***********
    Mommy to William, 4/29/09, 7 lbs 13 oz, 21 inches.
    Mommy to Evan, 3/18/06. 7 lbs 3 oz, 21 1/4 inches.
    Nursed both boys to 14 months
    Birth Doula
    Wisconsin!

    ***********

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    the mother of the groom type of sad is exactly what it's like-and for what it's worth, my heavy feeling lifted w/in 48hrs (and was coinciding with PMS)...so even though DS is almost weaned-nursing once every other day now-i'm in such a better place psychologically-i know he is almost ready, i'm ready, we are both moving on to new things! it's really hard to explain b/c you are holding so much joy and pride for your child as they reach each milestone-but for me, it was very important to articulate my sad feeling and not judge it-it was the end of a beautiful era...then you put your chin up, see your child growing up and celebrate the blossoming of this precious little flower!!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    48

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    I am one of those people who is currently "sad" over weaning. I would have never expected to feel this way but i do. I am happy that my DD is getting bigger and more independent but at the same time i am sad that it seemed to go by so fast. She is my first and it has been such a rewarding and special part of our relationship. I know that the closeness will always be there but i already miss those little eyes looking up at me and the little milky mouth and we are not even close to being fully weaned.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    I was just so happy that my lo was starting to become more independent. Anyone would be lying if they said they didn't miss those close moments bf gave them. However, as parents, we don't want to hold our little ones back, either!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: Positive psychology regarding weaning

    I love this thread. It puts a positive spin on why I feel sad but, happy;
    BF has been one of the hardests things I have ever done, but, one of the most rewarding. I did NOT expect the sadness that came along with weaning, and that element of surprise sure knocked the wind out of me but, I am soooooo proud of my little girl growing up and I think if she can let go of bf she can do anything... I have a LOT to learn from her!

    knmama

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