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Thread: Discouraged

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    57

    Default Discouraged

    My son was born on May 1st. He nurses often and for a long time, and the time and energy commitment is overwhelming. I feel trapped and resentful. Then at his 2-week checkup he was still 10% under birth weight so on top of everything I feel anxious about his weight and frustrated that all this effort has been unsuccessful.

    He was born at 9lb 9oz (I didn't have IV fluids), on day 13 he was down to 8lb 7oz, and on day 19 he was only up to 8lb 12oz. (All weights were on different scales.) The nurse, doctor, and LC all said that he looks good, but the doctor wanted us to supplement with formula until DS is back at birth weight.

    I rented a pump and have supplemented with a couple of ounces of EBM/day for the past 3 days, but I don't feel mentally able to cope with pumping in addition to what feels like continuous BFing. So far I have completely avoided formula, but it's so hard to stay motivated.

    Does the baby's weight seem within the range of safe/normal? If he looks good, has 6+ wet and 1+ dirty diapers/day, and seems otherwise healthy, should I be concerned about him not being at birth weight?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,090

    Default Re: Discouraged

    your counting diapars thats good.
    Hang in there

    have you talked to a local LLL leader? She can help beter over the phone then we can on-line..

    how much formula did the doctor say to use? Sometimes that can be a slippery slope to more and more formula. Using your own milk is wise.
    Sometimes just a few extra onces a day helps with weight gain and it will not be forever.

    I found about the 3-4 week mark I was starting to feal beter from the birth and was trying to do to much and not spending the time I should have enjoying the baby and resting.
    Do you have help around the house? Is this your 1st baby?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    His name was Cornball Wallace...
    Posts
    316

    Default Re: Discouraged

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mandy314 View Post
    My son was born on May 1st. He nurses often and for a long time, and the time and energy commitment is overwhelming. I feel trapped and resentful. Then at his 2-week checkup he was still 10% under birth weight so on top of everything I feel anxious about his weight and frustrated that all this effort has been unsuccessful.

    He was born at 9lb 9oz (I didn't have IV fluids), on day 13 he was down to 8lb 7oz, and on day 19 he was only up to 8lb 12oz. (All weights were on different scales.) The nurse, doctor, and LC all said that he looks good, but the doctor wanted us to supplement with formula until DS is back at birth weight.

    I rented a pump and have supplemented with a couple of ounces of EBM/day for the past 3 days, but I don't feel mentally able to cope with pumping in addition to what feels like continuous BFing. So far I have completely avoided formula, but it's so hard to stay motivated.

    Does the baby's weight seem within the range of safe/normal? If he looks good, has 6+ wet and 1+ dirty diapers/day, and seems otherwise healthy, should I be concerned about him not being at birth weight?
    Mama; as I have learned the LLL philosophy from my mother: YOU know YOUR baby best. Trust your gut. If you feel in your heart that he is genuinely healthy and he seems so in every way, then by all means, to heck with the silly advice!

    Breastmilk is a baby's perfect food and the chances he will need anything else at this age is very low. Supplementing with formula will only decrease your milk supply and interfere with your nursing relationship.

    Also; as your baby gets older they will spend less time nursing as they become more comfortable and efficient at draining the breast. It will get easier, so hang in there!

    Good luck Mama, follow your heart and do what YOU think is best-don't let other's judgements cloud your decisions. Be informed but listen to intuition. That's what its here for.
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    266

    Default Re: Discouraged

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tarantamom View Post
    Mama; as I have learned the LLL philosophy from my mother: YOU know YOUR baby best. Trust your gut. If you feel in your heart that he is genuinely healthy and he seems so in every way, then by all means, to heck with the silly advice!

    Breastmilk is a baby's perfect food and the chances he will need anything else at this age is very low. Supplementing with formula will only decrease your milk supply and interfere with your nursing relationship.

    Also; as your baby gets older they will spend less time nursing as they become more comfortable and efficient at draining the breast. It will get easier, so hang in there!

    Good luck Mama, follow your heart and do what YOU think is best-don't let other's judgements cloud your decisions. Be informed but listen to intuition. That's what its here for.
    I COMPLETELY agree. Your baby seems to have plenty of wet & dirty diapers and is gaining weight - just at a slower pace...so I agree - trust your gut.

    I also agree that it will get easier...to be honest, I had a really rough first 12 weeks with nursing - and I am SO happy I stuck it out...it really, truly is worth it.

    I feel your pain with pumping in addition to nursing round the clock. My hubby is in the military and was gone for a few weeks after baby, and I had to pump in addition to nursing because of mastitis & oversupply and I totally felt like I never had a minute to myself to even pee or grab a drink. I was either nursing, changing a diaper, pumping or cleaning the pump. I know it seems like it will go on forever, but it won't...we promise you it will get easier.

    Do you have a good pump? It can make ALL the difference. For awhile I was just using the little hand attachment that came with the one I borrowed from the hospital the first few days. My friend came over and saw that and immediately brought over her double electric. It was a LIFESAVER.

    Hang in there mama. Your LO is so lucky to have such a dedicated mommy.
    Proud mama to Matthew Rory, born naturally 10/29/10, and mama to Callie Elisabeth, born naturally 5/15/12.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,216

    Default Re: Discouraged

    Congratulations on your little boy! His wets sounds good. I agree with Andrea's recommendation that you relax and spend some time lying around doing nothing but nursing and snuggling and recuperating. Can you take a few days and just dedicate them to you and your baby? Spend them lying down skin to skin so he has free access to breastfeeding, whenever he wants it. And rest, both of you. How often has he been feeding up to this point?
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    57

    Default Re: Discouraged

    Thanks so much for all the support. I can't believe how much my attitude and LO's behavior change from day to day. I feel on a completely different planet this week from last week. It helps that he weighed 9lb, 1oz at the doctor today, so I feel relieved.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    23,786

    Default Re: Discouraged

    Wonderful job, Mama! If you're already feeling so positive, I think you're going to be one of those people for whom things only get better and better.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,804

    Default Re: Discouraged

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*duckpond View Post
    Congratulations on your little boy! His wets sounds good. I agree with Andrea's recommendation that you relax and spend some time lying around doing nothing but nursing and snuggling and recuperating. Can you take a few days and just dedicate them to you and your baby? Spend them lying down skin to skin so he has free access to breastfeeding, whenever he wants it. And rest, both of you. How often has he been feeding up to this point?
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Wonderful job, Mama! If you're already feeling so positive, I think you're going to be one of those people for whom things only get better and better.
    Yay Mama! So glad you were able to avoid formula - i've seen from lots of people that that just makes things harder. But I agree with Teal above -- just try to relax and spend all the time doing as little as possible other than nursing that you can. It's hard to let go of the things that need to be done around the house -- but trust me, you'll wish you'd relaxed more in a short time. Newborn is such a fast stage to go through and soon enough you'll long for those days on the couch cuddling.

    Anyway - sounds like the weight's going up and you're doing great and very conscious of what's going on. Keep up the good work!
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

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