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Thread: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    Canada
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    Default Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    I know I dont post here very much and am more of a "lurker" than anything.But I have learned so much from all of the ladies here and I want to say thank you to you all first. I don't have anyone really to talk to about weaning, without getting judgemental opinions.
    I am very proud to say that I have breastfed my LO and am still nursing at 20 months, but lately I have been feeling this need to wean.
    LO has been drinking cows milk since I returned to work when he turned 1. We nurse when we are together, and will even request cows milk while we are together sometimes. So I have no problem getting to drink something instead of nursing.
    For the past 3 months I have been having this terrible feeling during nursing- the only way I can explain it is uncomfortable nipples and feeling the need to unlatch him and run away!! And maybe even kick something!! This feeling of frustration comes over me.
    I am actually feeling very ashamed to admit all of this because I know how important breastfeeding is and I never had a set amount of time I wanted to breastfeed for.....I just can't figure it out. His latch is ok I think and I'm not pregnant. So I don't know what is going on. I almost always continue to nurse through all of the sessions but I'm wondering if this is my body's way of telling me its time to wean.
    What do you all think?
    Oh and I should mention that we have night weaned him. DH now does the
    nighttime parenting because I was also getting frustrated with the nighttime
    stuff. He nursed NONSTOP everynight for months and I was getting really run
    down because of a very early work schedule and never getting any proper
    sleep. Funny thing is that LO is fine for DH at night. He now only wakes up
    once a night and is back to sleep within a couple minutes and doesn't fuss at
    all.
    Sorry for rambling, and I hope this is easy to follow. I'm on my phone.
    He is nursing about 2 or three times In the evening when we are together.
    Mom to T September 10 2009 - BF for 20 months

    Due with baby #2 December 31st 2012!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,006

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    Wow, you should be proud! 20 months is a really good long time to nurse a baby.

    The feelings you describe sound very normal. I think a lot of mamas get pretty anxious to be done at a certain point. Toddler nursing can be fun, and loving, and cuddly- or it can be like nursing an annoying little monkey! Especially if the toddler in question is nursing primarily for comfort, and is maybe playing around with the breast more than trying to get nutrition from it.

    Is there anything in particular that you're finding annoying about your LO's nursing habits? Like biting, or twiddling, or just spending long amounts of time at the breast? We might be able to suggest solutions to those problems.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
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    2,197

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    I can really empathize with what you are describing. I go through periods of something very similar, just dreading the next nursing session. It's not all the time, but when it happens, sometimes I do feel that way for weeks or even a couple of months at a time. I haven't weaned my son completely, although I have cut way down (we are now at only once a day). But, for me, the key is that while I dreaded the sessions as they were approaching, and didn't enjoy them during (feeling panicky), outside of the sessions, I knew he was not ready to wean and I also knew that I still wanted to continue to nurse him. I think it is a hormonal thing for me, the discomfort and wanting to run away, since it comes and goes. But I try to listen more to what my heart and my son are telling me when we are well away from a session. I think that is where I will hear *my* answer about when it is time to wean. I also think it is approaching, but not *quite* here yet.

    Do you know which way you are leaning? To wean or to push through?
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Canada
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    50

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    Thanks for replying. Just hearing that I'm not the only one who is feeling or has felt this way is reassuring.

    Yes he is definately a little monkey. This afternoon while nursing he tried to get off my lap, and off the couch while still trying to stay latched!! I can't believe nipples can stretch out that long!!!! He doesnt bite, he just likes to be a little gymnast during nursing. And I think it wouldn't be as bad if he werent so demanding/strong willed. The boy knows what he wants and when he wants it!

    After hearing your replys I think I'm going to set a goal of his 2nd birthday....just to get me through to see if this is just a phase. I have really done a good job of fighting through these feelings so far, so if on his birthday I'm still feeling like this, we will think about weaning.

    Thanks again ladies.
    Mom to T September 10 2009 - BF for 20 months

    Due with baby #2 December 31st 2012!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Northern Cal.
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    4,984

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    I'm nursing my now almost 25 month old, and one thing I've found helpful is to cut out any nursing sessions that particularly annoy me, while sticking with the ones that I find most enjoyable. Sounds like you're already doing this (by night-weaning) but you might find that if you cut out some of the nursing, you can continue with it for longer. It's a very gradual form of weaning. Veeeeerrrrrry gradual.

    ETA: Oh yeah, and definitely work on those nursing manners. No bouncing around, no twiddling, nada. If you want to nurse, you sit (reasonably, we are talking toddlers!) still and snuggle. Otherwise, we're done here.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    652

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    I think it is helpful to have an end in sight. Or at least a goal you want to reach. My ds has some very agrivating behaviors, but we are on the weaning side with decreased milk from the pg he doesn't seem to care. Good luck to you too!
    Ds 9/09 nursed for 20 months

    Dd 12/11 nursing a toddler again

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    Canada
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    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    Sixyearplan you are right about nursing manners. I'll start with this too. I have tried to set some limits in the past but I cave under the tantrums. I thought nightweaning would help tremendously but I still can't shake it. So no more gymnastics or twiddling or trying to stick his finger up my nose for this little one...lol
    Mom to T September 10 2009 - BF for 20 months

    Due with baby #2 December 31st 2012!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,944

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    Darn. I just typed out a long response and lost it. I'll BBL.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    2,627

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)

    Some days or sessions are more enjoyable for us than others. If my daughter gets really wiggly (almost 22 mos) I say she needs to tell the wiggle worm not to bother her. If she persists, I delatch and say we're done. She doesn't twiddle. She did a few times and I move her hand and I told her that bothers mommy (it drives me crazy so I had to deal with it right away). Sometimes she wants to nurse right before bath but nurses after bath every night so I usually make her wait. She can handle it. She still nurses often but I do have to set limits to avoid resenting nursing all the time or whatever else I'd find annoying.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,944

    Default Re: Conflicting feelings about weaning (kinda long)


    I started to feel that way around the time I got my cycle back (around 21 months). The twiddling drove me nuts too and I had to put a stop to it. Once that got under control it was better. But I still had the agitated feelings, espcially during certain times of the month.

    It didn't get bad again until I got pregnant.

    I know what you mean about feeling conflicted because that's exactly how I feel right now. My DD will be 3 in a few days and I really want to wean her. Her brother is due in about 12 weeks. As much as I want to wean and as irritated as I get, when she didn't nurse to sleep 2x this week I got all upset about it. It's weird/hard to explain.

    I think that working on the manners would help alot also it's OK to distract your LO or say later.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

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