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Thread: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    I agree 100% with the prior posters. This is the kind of advice my mom gave me when I had my baby, and it came from a good place - she wanted me to get a break! - but, it's no coincidence that she only breastfed me for four months, when she supposedly "dried up." It's a story we see every day here. So we're not just hard-core "fundamentalist" breastfeeding advocates - we've seen what a slippery slope supplementation can be. Sure, one bottle every couple weeks probably won't hurt, but one bottle a day can reduce your supply, and then you supplement more ... and you get the picture.

    I agree with PPs. Either have your husband help you in other ways, or pump and give him breastmilk in a bottle to give your LO. In a couple months, when your supply is better established, you may have more flexibility if you want to do part-time breastfeeding. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing, but the first few months are a sensitive time, when your supply is still getting established.

    I do think it's a generational thing. Remember, most women in our mother's generation did not breastfeed, and almost NONE of our grandmothers did. The art was almost lost - a whole generation skipped it, and the basic rules were forgotten. So sometimes we need to be careful about the advice we're hearing. Even an experienced grandma who is wonderful with babies may not know much about breastfeeding.

    I didn't get four hours of sleep ever, for about 14 months, but I was fine. I was tired, but I don't think it did me any permanent harm. But most babies sleep better than mine. Anyway, four hours sounds like a GREAT stretch of sleep to me!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tgmperry View Post
    He works with nurses and, as mothers, they suggest to go ahead and begin supplementing because the main time for breastfeeding is the first month to get the antibodies and immunities.
    Also, this just isn't true. Check out this link.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    If I were you, I would consider getting a small manual hand pump to pump some milk so that your husband can give a bottle every now and then.

    Plus, it can also be helpful to have your husband do something that only he does with the baby. With my husband it was bath-time (still is most of the time), he also feeds our son solids most of the time. My son actually had a bottle almost every day in the evening while I pumped since the second day he was born (he was in the NICU and we had to "prove" how much he was eating, then after that were told to give him vitamin drops each day for the first few months) until he was about 10 weeks. Now he gets bottles of breastmilk at childcare.

    I think most people in the US live near either a Walmart or a Target. From a quick check online I can see there are pumps starting from $20 - $35. That's almost as cheap as a can of formula! So if you chose to have your husband give a bottle occasionally I would have him use breastmilk and use a hand pump (or even hand express) to pump milk while he is feeding the baby.

    It DEFINITELY has a lot of benefits well past the first few months.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    hi there and great job breastfeeding!

    I am sorry to hear you are getting pressure to use formula. It is so hard esp from your husband because you want him to be involved and he can be, it doesn't need to be through bottles though.

    I am sure you already know this from breastfeeding your baby, it is so much more than just nutrition! my lo is comforted by nursing, we cuddle, i hold him close and he loves sleeping/nursing. it feels so right for both of us.

    Dont give up something that is so good for you and the baby. Your husband can do so many other things, giving her a bottle is only going to take away from what is best for both of you. I would sit with him and explain how important it is to you and what your feelings are. He can bond with her in so many other ways.

    dont give up such a wonderful part of life, it only lasts a short time.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,805

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    awesome job for getting this far! That's fabulous. Spend the money you would spend on formula on a good pump. Your husband's heart is in the right place mama, but will in no way benefit your breastfeeding relationship with your LO.

    If you give formula, every time you miss a feeding you need to pump in order to keep your supply. Really, just a waste of time. So keep at it. You're doing the right thing right now.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    381

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    to the nurses.

    And good job to you mama for doing so well so far and having the right instincts about this! Guilt is not necessary but there is a reason to feel uneasy about it, as the other posters have explained so well.

    Welcome to the forum.
    Mom to Taiga born 6/2010

    Pocket cloth diapers. Baby led solids. Full-time working mom. I my DH, DD, kitty Dr. Benway, and my working border collie Odin!
    BF for 1 year and she and I still love it !!!!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    just wanted to add a too! And another nod of agreement with the rest of the mamas to nudge you to keep breastfeeding exclusively and not supplement with formula. I agree with all of their advice. You are not alone, my family also told me I should supplement with formula, especially because they wanted my husband to be able to feed her just to bond with her. I told them there were other ways he could bond (like they said above) and he did! No formula needed.

    but I wanted to add, if your husband and family are very pushy and you dont want to "hurt their feelings", maybe you can tell them you just want to wait until your baby is a little older, wait to sleep more when baby is older, wait to supplement (if you decide to at all) when baby is older. when the baby does get older, just keep saying you want to wait until its even older than that. before you know it you will have avoided formula and gotten into your own comfort zone.

    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,643

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    with all the advice given so far. So many good reasons not to supplement! I just want to chime in on the sleep issue and say that both my kids were up every couple of hours for around a year, and guess what? It didn't hurt my health one bit. Don't get me wrong, there were some pretty miserable nights in there! But interrupted sleep didn't make me sick.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #19

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    with other posters. My husband used to help me during nighttime feeds by getting her out of the bassinet, changing our DDs diaper and then bringing her to me to nurse (this was pre-co sleeping days). It was awesome! He had a chance to bond during diaper changes and it gave me a few precious minutes of sleep :-)

    Also, the sleep may or may not get better. I wish I could tell you for sure that your LO will be sleeping thru the night by xx months...but every baby is different. Mine was sleeping thru the night at 3 months and then 4 months hit and she is still up every 3-4 hours to nurse. But co-sleeping has been a lifesaver!! I highly recommend it :-)

    Oh, and congrats on doing such a great job breastfeeding so far!
    I'm Melanie

    First time mom to my sweet baby girl born October 2010
    Still
    We full-time and love it!

  10. #20

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    Again, thank you for all of the advice!

    I do want to also add that I am a teacher and it doesn't seem like I will have time during the day to pump, therefore in August my milk supply will decrease anyway.
    -Please do not say that it is required by law they supply me with a place and time to pump because, we all know, it doesn't really work that way... I would rather keep my job than inform my boss what he is required to do by law. lol

    It looks like I will be very close to supplementing with formula partially in August regardless since my milk supply will probably decrease then. I know it will probably happen eventually, just not sure when.

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