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Thread: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    The good news is that right NOW, you don't need to supplement. Even if you did want to give a feeding to your husband to give in a bottle, you'd still need to pump at that time to maintain your supply. So there really isn't any "help" in the sense of more sleep. Nursing (which is much more efficient) or pumping, you're up anyway. Once you get the pump, you'll be able to bottle feed breast milk which is superior in every way. Since you're not having any issues, why not choose to give your baby the best for as long as possible?

    The lack of sleep won't affect your health. I promise. If it did, Momma's of all time, all over the world would be sick. The biggest help is having things organized so that you can get back to sleep. If you're changing diapers during night feeds, have DH do them. It gives you a few more minutes to sleep/wake/get your wits about you.

    The best way to catch up on your sleep is to nap with your baby during the day. So you're not getting the 8 hours of sleep you once were, all at once. But you will get it throughout the day.

    As for pumping at work, it can't hurt to ask. They might surprise you. Even if you can't pump as often as you'd like, some pumping is better than none.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    4,836

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    I would start pumping now, give a few bottles, here and there, so your hubby can feel like he is 'helping', but also start a stash for when you go back to work. If you have all summer to get a good supply of milk, it can give you a substantial headstart and you'll have it there if you are not able to pump at work. Hopefully you can get at least one pumping session in during the day.

    ETA~ sorry, I just saw that baby is 5 weeks old. I might wait a few weeks on the pumping to get a stronger base for your breast feeding relationship, then start up.
    Last edited by @llli*shannon75; May 18th, 2011 at 08:42 PM.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,465

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tgmperry View Post
    He works with nurses and, as mothers, they suggest to go ahead and begin supplementing because the main time for breastfeeding is the first month to get the antibodies and immunities.

    Since I don't know much about this, I am looking for some advice or information. Do you all agree or disagree?
    I'm worried about feeling guilty if I don't continue to breastfeed as her only nutrition. :-/
    We wholeheartedly disagree. This information could not be more false. I am really surprised that they would give SUCH incorrect advice to anyone. I know that they cluelessly sometimes mess new mothers up in the hospital but to RECOMMEND supplementation to a mother that is not even having supply issues seems really negligent to me. I am angry that your DH is trusting this information.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tgmperry View Post
    Thanks for the advice! I think I left some out... I will not stop breastfeeding completely. We would only do the formula sometimes.
    He has also been told it is unhealthy for me because I am getting no more than 4 solid hours of sleep at a time. Will the sleep time get better?
    This is also not true. Newborns need to eat around the clock. Once you are mother things change. You need to get 6-8hours of sleep in a 24hour period. But not all at the same time. Sleep when your baby sleeps. The housework can wait. Have your DH bring home take out. She will only be this little for such a short time. Rest with her when she rests. A 4hour block of sleep sounds like a DREAM to a lot of women here. Don't try to clean your house when she sleeps during the day. Even if you can't nap yet, REST.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tgmperry View Post
    Again, thank you for all of the advice!

    I do want to also add that I am a teacher and it doesn't seem like I will have time during the day to pump, therefore in August my milk supply will decrease anyway.
    -Please do not say that it is required by law they supply me with a place and time to pump because, we all know, it doesn't really work that way... I would rather keep my job than inform my boss what he is required to do by law. lol

    It looks like I will be very close to supplementing with formula partially in August regardless since my milk supply will probably decrease then. I know it will probably happen eventually, just not sure when.
    Even if you HAVE to supplement later, you don't need to now. And you shouldn't. Why give your child substandard food if you don't HAVE TO? The get NO antibodies from formula, no oxcytocin, formula is harder on their systems and not nearly as absorbable. This time is so crucial. Your breastmilk is the exact right composition for YOUR baby. And it grows and changes with your child. Why not give her as MUCH of your perfect breastmilk as possible for as long as possible? Get a pump. So he CAN help. (Though I'd wait at least another week to introduce a bottle).
    If/when you NEED to supplement, we can cross that bridge. But not so your DH can help. He can do that with your breastmilk.

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    SoCal
    Posts
    6,467

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    I wholeheartedly agree with all the other ladies and want to direct you to the link in my signature it give a great outlook on BF and the way people incorrectly think about supplements.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  5. #35
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    I don't think you'll find a soul here who will support formula if your nursing relationship is thriving.

    Don't do it, mama!

    Maybe you can share this webpage with him. It's very user friendly!

    http://www.bestforbabes.com/fast-fac...eeding-issues/

    Some Cautionary Words About Supplementing with Formula

    Many care providers advise a new mom to supplement with formula when a feeding-related challenge, i.e., increasing jaundice, arises. We are not saying that you should not use formula, or that you should feel guilty if you do. We do want you to be armed with the facts so that you can make an educated and empowered decision about supplementing and understand its impact on breastfeeding and reaching your goal.
    1. It’s often not necessary.

    Yes, there are instances in which your baby might need to be supplemented. And there are even rare cases when they might need a special infant formula. Some of those we note below. However, if breastfeeding is managed properly, there are only a few situations in which a baby needs more milk than its mother can provide — in fact less than 5% of women are not wired to make enough milk– there are even fewer circumstances in which breastfeeding should be discontinued completely. And if a supplement is needed, WHO advises that infant formula be given only as a last resort to your baby, recommending that babies be fed, in order of preference:

    1. at the breast;
    2. via pumped or hand expressed breastmilk, using a cup, spoon, or oral infant feeding tube, i.e. NOT by a bottle with an artificial nipple, as this causes breastfeeding problems;
    3. with pasteurized, screened, donor milk from one of the several human milk banks in the USA (yes, really and it’s safe–see the Human Milk Banking Association, www.hmbana.org); and, lastly, with artificial baby milk–ABM for short–also known as infant formula. (World Health Organization (WHO), 2003).

    A good question to ask prenatally is whether your hospital stashes frozen, donated, screened and pasteurized human milk, and if not, consider switching to one that does!
    2. It can lead to more problems.

    Supplementing during the first few days and/or taking the baby off the breast – even briefly—can be a slippery slope leading to breastfeeding problems and failure, often causing more problems than it attempts to solve. Firstly, it can wreck your confidence in your body’s and little babe’s ability to breastfeed without the help of artificial milk. Basically, being told that formula is needed can be the equivalent of being told that you or your milk are just not enough for your baby. Many mothers lose their confidence right then and there — especially first-time mothers — and never fully get it back. They wind up doubting their ability to satisfy their babies in general and give up nursing prematurely. There are many reliable studies which prove that giving even one bottle of formula in the early days of life (Hall et al, 2002; Hornell et al, 2001) and taking home a “free” diaper bag with formula samples (Rosenberg et al, 2008), will have the effect of shortening the overall duration that that mother breastfeeds.

    Secondly, supplementing with formula can compromise your milk supply. Your breasts need the constant stimulation of your infant’s suckling to bring on a full and perfect milk supply. Adding formula to your baby’s diet will mean less breastfeeding, which means you may produce less milk.

    Thirdly, supplementing through a bottle can teach baby some ugly latching habits! Breastfeeding is instinctive, but there is a learning curve involved – usually about 4-6 weeks. (See our section: The Learning Curve) Most babies need to practice milking the breast for a few days to master the skill of suckling. Milking a breast is nothing like sucking on an artificial (bottle) nipple. Many newborns who receive early bottles will quickly develop a preference for the faster flow of a bottle and become accustomed to sucking that way. When it’s time to get your baby back on the breast, you may have a hard time with getting the baby to be patient at the breast and/or with sore nipples from your baby’s new “bottle” latch.
    3. It can undo some of breastfeeding’s benefits.

    While giving your baby a little formula will certainly not ruin him, it will completely change – for many weeks or more — the healthy balance of beneficial gut flora that breastfeeding achieves in your baby. The healthy bacteria and infection-fighters contained in your colostrum and milk are responsible for jump-starting your baby’s immune system and protecting him from common infections like strep, staph, e.coli, rotovirus, etc. (Hanson, 2004).

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  6. #36
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Shakedown St.
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    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    Hi, I've been lurking here since shortly after my son was born but have not posted anything until now. I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to how you feel, but urge you to keep nursing while you can.

    I HATED breastfeeding for the first month (actually in addition to my incredibly supportive husband and mother, reading through posts here is one of the few things that kept me going). I too was exhausted from having to nurse every 1-3 hours. Additionally, I was so sore for several weeks. There were times when I wondered if breastfeeding was making me a worse mother because I was tired and irritable, and felt a little resentful when my son would fuss then refuse to nurse. I considered supplementing too, but knew that it could impact my supply so I struggled to get from one feeding to the next. After the first month, I stopped hating breastfeeding. After getting through the second month, I realized how much easier it is to nurse and started to enjoy it. Now at the six month mark, I'm loving it and so is my son. I'm so glad I stuck with it!

    My little guy gets better, then worse, then better, etc. as far as sleeping, but eventually my body adjusted to getting little bits of sleep here and there (I've always enjoyed my sleep, so I'm pretty amazed that I've been able to acclimate). This may not be relevant to you, but since about 3 months my son actually wants to nurse more after he gets a bottle of my milk. After getting one bottle in the morning the other day, he nursed every 45 min. to 1 hr. until bedtime.

    Anyway, worry about supplementing during the fall semester when it rolls around. You never know, you might be able to work something out. I teach college, and I was able to sneak in a super quick pumping session during my 4 hour class this term. By holding off supplementing now, at least you'll have options in August. By that time, breastfeeding is much more enjoyable. Even if you do need to supplement in the fall, I'm certain you'll be happy that you were able to exclusively breastfeeding through the summer.

    Best of luck to you!

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    His name was Cornball Wallace...
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    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*CODEPINK View Post
    if anyone says anything about the price of a pump, its still a whole lot cheaper then formula.
    Yes.
    Dramatic yes.

    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet
    If BOTH you AND your baby's father feel it is best that he take part in baby's feeding, pump & feed. Irregardless though, you should be waking at least once in the night to either pump or nurse to avoid plugged ducts which can lead to mastitis. My baby's grandparents wanted to FF too and I allowed them to supplement with formula in the early months so they could take him (while I cried my eyes out the entire time ) and I REGRET every moment of it. A baby, IMO, should be with its parents 24/7 whenever it is possible. My son never spends time away from me now, if anyone wants to see him they see him with me or they see him with his Dad and that's only for a VERY VERY short time (and only if I'm too tired ect) bc I don't like being apart from my baby...being apart can interfere with successful breastfeeding when it is being established in early life. I understand other people feel differently, and that's OK, but I STRONGLY and PASSIONATELY disagree with formula feeding if you have the breastmilk available to feed your child with. I would buy a pump or say "no way" and encourage Dad to take baths with baby & stroke baby's head/cuddle you both while he/she is nursing if he wants to take part in the feeding process.
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  8. #38
    Join Date
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    His name was Cornball Wallace...
    Posts
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    Default Re: Husband wants formula supplement so he can help...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*amysmom View Post
    The good news is that right NOW, you don't need to supplement. Even if you did want to give a feeding to your husband to give in a bottle, you'd still need to pump at that time to maintain your supply. So there really isn't any "help" in the sense of more sleep. Nursing (which is much more efficient) or pumping, you're up anyway. Once you get the pump, you'll be able to bottle feed breast milk which is superior in every way. Since you're not having any issues, why not choose to give your baby the best for as long as possible?

    The lack of sleep won't affect your health. I promise. If it did, Momma's of all time, all over the world would be sick. The biggest help is having things organized so that you can get back to sleep. If you're changing diapers during night feeds, have DH do them. It gives you a few more minutes to sleep/wake/get your wits about you.

    The best way to catch up on your sleep is to nap with your baby during the day. So you're not getting the 8 hours of sleep you once were, all at once. But you will get it throughout the day.

    As for pumping at work, it can't hurt to ask. They might surprise you. Even if you can't pump as often as you'd like, some pumping is better than none.
    this post!!!
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

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