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Thread: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

  1. #1

    Default Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    Baby is 9 wks old, been pumping since day 3. She lost 12% at hospital, so I was advised to begin pumping. Went to LC and she sent me to tongue tie doctor and cranio sacral therapist. I can't tell if that has helped because [I]every[I] time I nurse her she jumps around and tries to tear my nipple off. I believe it is because the gas just bothers her so much.She does this with the bottle also.She struggles with passing gas almost the entire day-24 hr period.She cries and arches backwards.I try to pump every 3 hrs, but it is hard to stick to the schedule because I have no help and she is upset most of the time, so I can't just let her scream her head off.I mean, I have, but feel guilty about it.I have rented a gram scale from the LC to do a before and after and she does okay on one breast, but the other, not so well.But, maybe if she was starving, she maybe would have worked at it.I get like 2-3 hrs of sleep in a 24hr period.I feel so exhausted and depressed.This isn't fostering a close relationship,feels like a chore; I feel resentful,feel guilty,feel regretful, feel angry.I have an 8yr old and catch myself lashing out at him because I feel at wits end.Breast milk is the best thing for the baby, but I don't know if me feeling as I do all that great for her either.I have a Symphony and get 4-5oz at a time, so there is no lack of milk.I actually have surplus in fridge and started to freeze.I want to be close to my baby and be able to comfort her, but pumping is not letting me.It is sad when she tries so hard to get to my breast when she's crying, turning, twisting towards it. I don't put her there much at all, but she knows exactly where they are. Any help/advice will be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Not sure if this is comforting or not, I have definitely experienced the feelings you have now - extremely frustrated and guilty for not being a good mom to my other children. Breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone and I only learned that after having my fifth baby!

    I don't have any magic solutions, as I have not experienced the exact scenario you describe below but may I suggest another LC? I find that getting more than one view/perspective can be helpful.

    Have you tried eliminating some of the "problem" foods from your diet to help with the gas, i.e. caffeine, chocolate, dairy (one of my babies got extremely fussy/gassy after I ate onions)? If you haven't already, you may want to meet with your pediatrician to make sure there isn't something else going on that makes eating painful for your LO.

    Hang in there. If you can, find someone to take on care for your LO for a couple of hours to give you a chance to take a shower and nap in peace. I find that sometimes gives me the recharge needed to refocus and get perspective.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,598

    Default Re: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    Welcome, Mama, and congrats on making it to 9 weeks despite what sounds like some very frustrating circumstances.

    Babies pull off the breast for a lot of reasons: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html I'd definitely check out the links on forceful letdown, slow letdown, and reflux. Some of the things you describe- the arching in particular- make me wonder about reflux. But the fact that you're pumping a 4-5 oz at a time makes me think of forceful letdown, since 4-5 oz is a lot of milk and the more milk you have the faster it generally comes out.

    When your baby nurses straight from the breast, how much milk does she get? I'm also wondering if your LO might have developed a preference for the bottle, due to getting so maby of them from an early age. I'm thinking that if your LO can get around 2 oz from the breast when nursing, you might want to shelve both pump and bottles for the time being, and let your baby nurse as much as possible. That way maybe she'd learn to love the breast and forget the alternative.

    Hang in there, Mama! We will do whatever we can to help you out. You're a tough lady for getting this far, and you should be proud of yourself!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4

    Default Re: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    Thanks, I do appreciate the responses. Don't feel so totally alone. I did that extreme elimination diet-turkey potatoe pear rice-with my son, and didn't see much of a difference. But, this time I am going to just eliminate the dairy and see if it helps her. I would like to know more about the "silent reflux." She never spits up, but maybe it just comes up in her throat, like heartburn. But, I do think the "toots" bother the heck out of her. I want so much to quite the pump cold turkey! I am afraid to. What if I am making more than she needs? Which I really believe, because I have a fridge full of milk. I'm sure my body will adjust...right?! What if she doesn't do well and my milk supply dwindles down? Would I be able to re-establish it? I am also afraid of having my boobs tore up; the other day she pulled so much it broke the skin. The LC I have been seeing is the Leader for my area, but, maybe getting some other input would be wise. Thank you all again!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Brainerd, MN
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emmamayme View Post
    I would like to know more about the "silent reflux." She never spits up, but maybe it just comes up in her throat, like heartburn. But, I do think the "toots" bother the heck out of her. I want so much to quite the pump cold turkey! I am afraid to. What if I am making more than she needs? Which I really believe, because I have a fridge full of milk. I'm sure my body will adjust...right?! What if she doesn't do well and my milk supply dwindles down? Would I be able to re-establish it? I am also afraid of having my boobs tore up; the other day she pulled so much it broke the skin. The LC I have been seeing is the Leader for my area, but, maybe getting some other input would be wise. Thank you all again!
    "Silent" reflux is generally reflux without spit-up. Though it may or may not be painful for your little one, it's generally not treated medically unless it poses serious problems, like your daughter aspirates it.

    If you're making more than she needs, a problem I'm going through as well, then you definitely don't want to pump any more, because that'll just tell your body to keep producing more than she's eating. Your body should adjust if you do block feeding (which is feeding from one breast for a certain amount of time or number of feedings before offering the next). If your supply got too low, which it probably won't, then it can be re-established by nursing often.

    My daughter gets very fussy at the breast as well, and it's usually a let-down issue for us. Sometimes she pulls off and gets sprayed in the face. It was funny once, before I realized how un-funny the situation really is.

    Good luck!

  6. #6

    Default Re: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emmamayme View Post
    I want so much to quite the pump cold turkey! I am afraid to. What if I am making more than she needs? Which I really believe, because I have a fridge full of milk. I'm sure my body will adjust...right?! What if she doesn't do well and my milk supply dwindles down? Would I be able to re-establish it? I am also afraid of having my boobs tore up; the other day she pulled so much it broke the skin. The LC I have been seeing is the Leader for my area, but, maybe getting some other input would be wise.


    I also have been mainly pumping, up until almost a week ago now. So I understand your concern and questions. The first 3 days I went to just breast feeding, My breast became extremely engourged even after my daughter would eat. I pumped after feedings. I think my LO was going through a growth spurt, as she is a month old now and does not eat as frequently. My body is still adjusting to exclusively bf and I do still have to pump sometimes. I only pump when I am engourged though, and then I just freeze it. I can say, your body will adjust, I know mine has and it has only been a week! So hang in there! Also if you are having problems with cracked nipples-sore nipples you can always try a nipple shield.
    ... Proud SAHM
    Hannah 6-6-05, 7pds 6.5ozs, 19&1/2 in.
    Emmalyn 4-20-11, 8pds 7ozs, 21 in.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    126

    Default Re: Feel like I'm going to collapse...

    Good job on hanging in there for so long, it sounds like this has been really challenging!

    I agree w/ pp's. Maybe try eliminating dairy and if not that look at other foods? With my DD, when I drank caffine when she was little she seemed to have more gas, so I had to cut that out for awhile. If it's too strong of a let down, maybe start with pumping just a little, then nurse? On the down side, this might mean you'd produce more milk in the short run, but it might be a way to encourage her to go to the breast? My only other thought is that for gas (which my 7 mo old had a problem with at that age), have you tried a warm rice bag on her tummy? Or those gas drops? Maybe gas drops (I think they're OK at that age, but you may want to double check) then a warm rice bag on the tummy, then snuggling down in a quiet room to nurse would help?

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