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Thread: So confused about what to do

  1. #1
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    Jul 2008
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    Default So confused about what to do

    My DS is 3.5 months old. We have a babysitter that comes to our house everyday to be with him from 8:30-4:30 and has been since he was 6 weeks old. He is exclusively breastfed on demand when he with me and I have never believed in putting a breastfed baby on a schedule. When she first started I allowed her to have him on an every 3 hour schedule because that is what he naturally did when he was with me. He was eating about 3.5-4 oz every 3 hours at first (he has always been a big eater and is a big boy). Then I started noticing that he was going for longer intervals when I had him at home with me on the weekends so I told her that she should try just feeding him when he is hungry instead of sticking to the every 3 hour schedule. Around that same time he started going through his 3 month growth spurt and was eating 6 oz, or 5 oz then 2 more oz an hour later and very similar to what he was doing with me and my milk supply was having trouble keeping up. I was pumping every 2 hours at work, but again I knew because I have two older children that this is normal for a growth spurt. Finally about two weeks later (last week) he started slowing back down. I started pumping about 5 oz at each pump session. She expressed concern to me that she thought he would be better eating on a schedule. I have had the conversation with her before about not wanting him on a schedule but I guess I am having trouble getting my point across to someone who has never breastfed before. I told her I would leave her 12-14 oz and she could feed him however she wants but I want him to be happy and I want to be able to feed him when I get home. She told me that it would be difficult for her to have it so he wasn't hungry when I get home if he's not on a regular schedule. I fed him around 5:30-6:00 every day before I leave. What do you think i should do?

  2. #2
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    Jul 2010
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    Personally, I don't mind if my DCP feeds my LO on a schedule if that's what works for them. I still feed on demand the rest of the day.

    But what would worry me more about possibly undermining BFing would be her giving 6 oz bottles. Thats just too big. It's very unlikely he ever takes that much from your breasts in a single feeding or in as short of a time as giving a bottle. Just because a baby finishes a bottle doesn't mean they actually need or want all that milk. They swallow because it just keeps coming. I would leave 4 smaller pre-made bottles rather than just milk in the fridge. It sounds like you are gone for 10-11 hours? If that is the case feeding him almost half of what you left on a single feeding (6oz when you leave 12-14?) could also mean a very hungry unhappy baby at some point in the day, since bm digests very quickly.

    Also, you want to feed him as soon as you get home so why is it bad if he's hungry (within reason) when you get home? Isn't that perfect?

    There is a page on kellymom that gives caregivers excellent advice on how to bottle feed a BF baby but I can't link it from my phone. But giving your Nanny info like that may help.
    Mom to Taiga born 6/2010

    Pocket cloth diapers. Baby led solids. Full-time working mom. I my DH, DD, kitty Dr. Benway, and my working border collie Odin!
    BF for 1 year and she and I still love it !!!!

  3. #3
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    Dec 2009
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    Here is that link: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html

    I don't think your baby needs to be on a schedule just to ensure your baby is ready to nurse when you get home. What I tell my daycare is to not feed her after 5pm; I generally get there by 5:30-5:45. Usually she has her last bottle somewhere between 3:30 and 4:45. I've noticed that they will feed her a final bottle @ 4:45 if her last one before that was anytime before 3, whether she is hungry or not - I think they don't want to worry about her waking up from a nap hungry or something.

    She will sometimes want to nurse right when I get her. Other times she won't nurse until like 7pm or something. It just depends.
    Little SW, Aug '09
    Miss MW, Jan '11
    Sir RW, Oct '12
    3 kids in 38 mos

  4. #4
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    I agree with everything Ooky said. 6 ounces is a HUGE amount for any breastfed baby, but particularly one as young as yours, to eat at one sitting. I would leave more smaller bottles, 3-4 ounces with a couple of 1-2 ounce bottles to use to top baby off if needed. Here's the link she was referring to about how to bottle feed a breastfed baby.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  5. #5
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    I am gone from 7:00-4:30 so about 9 hours. So I could leave 3, 4 oz bottles and see what happens.
    When I have him on the weekend he can eat at 8:30 and then not eat again until 1pm, but I have no idea how much he is getting at one sitting.
    I was afraid that feeding him 6 oz may be too much. My babysitter with my middle son always fed him 6 oz bottles though at this age so I'm so confused since I never feed him a bottle!

    So if I leave 3, 4 oz bottles and I feed him between 5:30 and 6:00 what would be a good general schedule for her to follow

  6. #6
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    You could also try four 3 ounce bottles. Then she could feed him every 2.5 hours.

    On the weekends when he goes for that long stretch, is he sleeping that whole time in between? Is there some reason you let him go that long during the day?

    My youngest is 3.5 months old right now and if she's going to go that long without eating, I prefer it to be at night instead of during the day.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  7. #7
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    Jul 2008
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    Well usually it is when we are out doing something. For example, last sunday we were at my mother in laws for mothers day. I fed him at 9, he went to sleep until about 11, then he was awake until about 1:30 just playing with my in laws before he started fussing to be fed. But then he ate about every 2.5 hours after that.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    I think I'd let her work out a schedule with baby on her own. He may want to eat more frequently if he's getting smaller bottles. But as a general idea probably around every 3 hours at this point so around 9ish, noonish, and 3ish with a small top up here and there if he wants it. You also have to take naps into account and work around that.

    I found that regardless of when they last fed her my daughter used to want to nurse when we got home so I wasn't too hard on them about making her wait if she was hungry. The only time it really bugged me is if they were feeding her when I got there to pick her up, because they knew I was coming and would have only needed to hold her off a few more minutes.

    I think the most a baby that age would get from the breast would be around 3-4 ounces per feeding, more or less depending on the mama's storage capacity and how long baby nurses.
    Last edited by @llli*norasmommy; May 12th, 2011 at 08:15 AM.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  9. #9
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    I also was wondering if she does put him on a schedule, should she wake him up to eat if he's asleep?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: So confused about what to do

    nooooo! I'd never wake a sleeping baby.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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