I breastfed my son from birth until he was almost 2yrs old, he self weaned when i was 4mo. pregnant w/ this baby. at around 9mo-1yr i got tired of it, to be honest, but i kept up bc i knew it was good for him. he never had formula, never even took a bottle or pacifier (per my choice), and didnt start solids until 6mo. old. this time however things are a little different....i have been doing a lot of reading, about sex and breastfeeding, breastfeeding and birth control, breastfeeding and nutrition, etc etc etc. lots of reading. the fact of the matter is that if i formula fed, i wouldn't even have any idea HOW and i have no idea what happens to your breasts PP if you dont bf. so its not like im considering that bc i pretty much dont know how to formula feed lol, and bc i know breast milk is far superior even though i wish it wasnt at this time =/
there are just so many issues that i've had with this pregnancy-i was diagnosed w/ hsv(herpes), i have had extreme vomiting issues in the 2nd trimester, i've had a yeast infection, bv, and been on antibiotics twice for various things. its kinda sucked plain and simple. and i am horrified that breastfeeding and all of that will suck too now.
as far as nutrition and breastfeeding i am sort of overwhelmed about that. i dont eat well now, i eat usually breakfast and dinner and snack all day, skipping lunch, i am planning a home birth which is going to cost a total of around $2300 , even though we are basically dirt poor. i just feel like what if i cant eat the stuff i need, as in, enough, b/c we dont have it. and then there is the issue of being touched out! that was my biggest issue w/ my first child. he is only 2yrs2mo. old, so he is still over obsessed and clingy as is, then add a newborn and i think i will feel like exploding. sex has sucked for my 2nd half of pregnancy and i am just ready for it to be normal which, according to all the things im reading, it wont be, and then there is birth ctrl. i feel like i NEED some form other than condoms or FAM but they all supress sex drive. wtf. i realize this is really long and drawn out but it is just kinda horrible to feel like for another at least 6months if not one full year or longer, i will belong to another person and not be JUST ONE PERSON again yet.
anyone else felt this way, what did you do about it? do you think any of this makes me more inclinded to get ppd? thx!(sorry if this is the wrong forum to post i didnt know which one to post this in)