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Thread: Help! so torn :(

  1. #1

    Default Help! so torn :(

    I am currently bfing my 6.5 week old, and feeling very frustrated, exhausted and emotional. I exclusively bf until this week when I caved into supplementing with a bottle of formula. I feel extremely guilty and dissapointed in myself. But all week she has done nothing but feed non stop all day from about 4 am until 10pm. Then sleeps good from about 11:30pm( when we finally get her settled) until 4am. My body cannot take the lack of sleep anymore, Im anemic so im already fatigued to begin with. I just feel so lost I do not want to give up, because I gave up with my first one before she was even a month, and this time I was determined to stick with it, but my emotions and frustration are becoming overbearing and I feel I just need some reassurance or advice from other bf mothers. thank you for listening to my possibly confusing rant, any tips would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NE PA
    Posts
    1,089

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    Sounds like you are very frustrated. There is a growth spurt right around 6 weeks which may be what you are going through right now. How are her wet/dirty diapers? do you have anyone who can help you out? Are you getting suppliments for the anemia? Have you had any changes happen recently? Starting back on birth control? going back to work? etc? Hang in there- you are doing a great thing for your LO.
    Jessica

    Moma to DS1-the monkinroanie (3/09) and DS2-the sweet pumpkin (5/12)
    Strong Women- May we have the delight of knowing them, the courage to be them and the privilege of raising them.
    And yes I know my spelling terrible (is that spelled right? )

  3. #3

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    She's still having lots of wet diapers, but only 1 or 2 dirty a day(24hr). I am a single mom, but my children's father stays here on the weekends when he doesnt work to help me out with the kidlets, my older daughter is 3.5 yrs old, I think thats also a lot of my frustration because it is hard to take care of her needs during the week while im alone with them. I am unable to tolerate high levels of iron supplemnts so I am stuck with baby iron drops as well as I am taking b12 vitamins. No changes. But I do feel like my supply isnt up to par, I have been pumping since day 1, and have found becaue of her nonstop feeding I barely have time to pump and when I do I am only ever able to pump maybe 2-3 oz a breast which does not satisfy her.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,944

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    2-3 oz per breast? Wow! That's actually terrific supply. 6 week-old breastfed babies typically drink about 2, maybe 3 oz at the breast. I know that may seem low if you're accustomed to bottle-feeding and formula- but remember that bottle-fed, formula-fed babies typically eat much larger amounts than breastfed ones!

    It sounds like you're really overwhelmed right now. Don't feel bad about caving in and offering a bottle of formula- but on the other hand, remember that the only way to not use formula is to just not use it. If your goal is to breastfeed exclusively, throw the formula out.

    Can you get some help around the house? I know exactly how hard it can be to be alone with a demanding young child and a demanding newborn at the same time!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    Thank you, yes my mom offers to take her all the time, its just a matter of being able to pump enough to hold her over. If she is given a bottle of breastmilk she can easily down 4-5oz before she is satisfied. So is just stressful tryin to pump enouh for someone to take her. And also when everyone else thinks everytime she cries she must be hungry so they bringher to be right away.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    Hi there!
    My lo is a nonstop nurser and he wont sleep unless i hold him, hes with me all the time. I have a sling and that really helps. I can actually get out of my chair Can you get one? You can ask for recommendations on this site...

    Also, I have an 8 year old son (which is very different than a 3.5 yr old). I felt so exhausted the other night about not being able to handle taking care of both of them. You said your struggling to pump enough to give your lo bottles while someone takes her. I would say have someone take your 3.5 yrs old and you just stay home with lo. That would ease some stress and you could just nurse.

    I know it is so hard to keep up with the nursing when it is literally all the time but you can do it and it does get better quickly. You are doing so well, don't forget that. We can be so hard on ourselves.

    I'm not sure about your baby, but the one thing that always keeps my lo quiet and content is a breast... I cannot imagine what I would do if he wasn't breastfeeding. I know your baby is on you always right now, but she is happy and has a strong bond with you. You are a great mom.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sunny Arizona
    Posts
    3,171

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    Could your mom take your older daughter for a while and let you just focus on nursing and sleeping for a few hours? That way you don't have to stress about pumping but you can still get a break and some solo time with your new baby.

    It sounds like you're doing great. I agree though, the best way to not use formula is to not have it around.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    PS I hate pumping and avoid it at all cost!

    I am going back to work and have to pump each morning to collect something to form a stash... i get about 1 oz total!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,944

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mtmama View Post
    You said your struggling to pump enough to give your lo bottles while someone takes her. I would say have someone take your 3.5 yrs old and you just stay home with lo. That would ease some stress and you could just nurse.
    People looooove to take new babies! So cute! So fun! They get to play mommy all over again. But what they often don't realize is that they're putting a burden on the new mom- she has to pump, she still has to care for her older child, and then the baby comes home with his rhythms all messed up from being baby-sat... Send the toddler, keep the baby with you. When you have nursing down and the baby is in a more predictable routine, then you can switch things around.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Buckeye State
    Posts
    2,079

    Default Re: Help! so torn :(

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    Does she take a pacifier? She may have a strong need to suck and that might help give you a little break.
    This what I was going to ask. My daughter is like this. She just needs to suckle all the time. I RARELY used a paci with my son but it's ESSENTIAL with my daughter.
    I'm Colleen
    Mama to
    Silas born May 2009 ~ Nursed 18 mos, weaned during pregnancy, unweaned at 24 months, still nursing when he feels like it
    Lola born March 2011 ~ The Mary Lou Retton of toddler nursing
    Married to Brandon
    Using cloth on both bums

    We hibernate together



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