Alittle about me: I am a 23 year old SAHM. I live with my DH and his mother as of a few months ago, due to lay off. I gave birth naturally (besides Pitocin)to my son Roman on August 31st 2011. I breast fed for the first 6 weeks of life. Due to a combination of things (stress, pressure to bottle feed (MIL wanted to feed him) PPD, and basically all around a huge lack of knowledge being a FTM and all.) 2 weeks go by, and I realize I miss breast feeding so much. I wanted to return to breast feeding for a lot of reasons. I absolutely love the bonding! plus the health benefits to the baby of course, and weight loss is definitely a plus! I lost all my baby weight within the first week of breast feeding! So randomly I look up online, if it is possible. I expected nothing, but still I research. I found out on babycenter that it IS in fact possible. I am estatic. Never once did it say how HARD the process would be.... I look up how to achieve this, and since I already had a small electric pump (Medela single deluxe) I start ASAP... I can get the hospital grade next week when I have money, and although I know it wouldn't bring my supply back up fully, I assume it doesn't hurt to get that little stimulation. The first day... or should I say first week, I only made 5ml within the entire day. What a drag... I felt like I was going nowhere. With the help of LLL forums and others, I continue. The week after that it started getting a little more and a little more as the weeks went by.. I'd have to say it took a good 3 weeks to start making even half an ounce per day. My son at this point was still not latching. He was super fussy. At this point I kind of don't remember, but what I do remember is that at some point after the 3 week mark,and trying every technique in the book to try and get him to latch... barely any success. He would only nurse in the tub for comfort once in awhile. I thought I was getting somewhere when he would latch in the tub. I had a few minor successes with this. he would latch and I'd syringe feed him etc. I was told to start taking more baths with him. Which ended up being a bigger stress and he stopped nursing completely. I read somewhere to use "sweeties" -the sugar water the hospital uses on babies before procedures I guess? on the nipple to kind of entice the baby to want to suck. After that, oddly he loved it.. and kept latching. He would only do it for comfort once in awhile.. trying to get him to do it while he was tired didn't even work. He would wake up super mad! It had to be when he wanted it. I visited the local LC here and she gave me the Medela starter sns, cups, syringes, soft feeders and a nipple shield. She told me which ever one he seemed to do the best with she will give me more of. I ended up finger feeding him with the starter sns (I read somewhere the finger teaches the baby where to put his tongue) I know that this had to have helped in my success He took to using the SNS so next visit I told her and she gave me the regular Medela SNS. I was so grateful for that. It made life a lot easier. Especially since it just hangs around your neck and tapes to the breast. (comes with tape, too.) after awhile of using this I was about to give up because he just would not latch without the tube. It was like he knew the food was coming from the tube. Plus, I didn't need to pump as much this way. I still pumped if my LO didn't eat within the next 2 hours and if he woke hungry while I was pumping, I would stop and feed him with the SNS.. and pump 10 mins after each feed. By this point I was on the verge of giving up. LO still would not latch without the sns even with sugar it was only for comfort. Then on the day I about had enough, I told my DH that I was done, that I couldn't do this anymore. Literally in tears... he completely supported me and told me I've come too far to stop now. THAT DAY DS latched, and continued to latch at ever feed. I don't know what it was, but at that point, he did not want to let the boob go! My milk supply kept getting better, and he was making the minimum wet/dirty diaper count in 24 hrs. He as also gaining. Just to be sure though, I was still supplementing a little when he was fussy. I always put him on the breast first though. 6 weeks later, he was ebf. I still had my doubts though. I just felt like I wasn't making enough. I was stressed still. Then one day, after 2-3 days of ebf he just stopped. I seriously thought I did something wrong and that I had no milk left. ow could this be? I still don't know what the problem was, but I guess it resolved itself. After 6 long hard sleepless weeks, I can now say my son is EBF. I took him into the local LC office again. She told me last week he should have gained 3oz minimum in a week. We weighed him, and he had gained 7!! I know I had so much stress and sleepless days/nights but I'd have to say it was completely worth all of it to be able to nourish my son completely again! I am super proud of myself and my goal is to breast feed for at least a year. After that, I will let him self wean. Now that I got to this point, I am definitely keeping him there as long as possible now!!