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Thread: At the end of my rope

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    26

    Default At the end of my rope

    I'm so frustrated!! My 4 week old son just isn't happy and I don't know what to do. He's actually crying in his crib right now. I don't know what to do to help him. He nursed for 45 minutes on one breast this afternoon, then fell asleep. I put him in his crib and he was crying a few minutes later. I nursed him another 30 minutes on the other side and he fell asleep. Then he woke up screaming just a few minutes after I put him in his crib!! I'm going crazy, I have a 2 year old that needs my attention too...what do I do? The baby did this same thing this morning too, and after nursing him a long time, he drank a bunch from a bottle from my husband then proceeded to spit up. I know I'm making milk because I can pump it out, and I can hear my LO swallowing. I know I must not be making enough, but what can I do? Do I seriously just sit in bed all day nursing him when there is nothing there for him to eat? Please help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    196

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    It's a growth spurt, I would bet my 3 hours of sleep a night on it

    This is so tough. I guess I just have support to offer, and the suggestion to get help from friends or family so you can have someone help with your other little one while you nurse.

    GOOD LUCK, it will pass soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston SC
    Posts
    2,601

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    I am sorry that you are having a rough go at it. Things will get better, I promise I bet he is going through his 3 week growth spurt a little late and that is why he is wanting to nurse so much. He also may just have a strong need to suck, some babies need to suck more than others... Have you tried to put him in the sling and let him nurse so that you can attend to your two year old, if you do not have a sling or have a sling and are not sure how to nurse in it check out www.mayawrap.comto see how to nurse your baby in the sling and other helpful tips.
    How many wet and soiled diapers is he having in a 24 hour period? That is great that you can see your milk, and that you can hear him swallowing, those are all very good indicators. Please keep us updated on how things are going - Brittan

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    you might want to get in touch with your local lll group.
    They can give you some toddler tips to help with the new baby and managing the toddler.
    The 1st few weeks are the hardest. Do you have a toddler safe area to nurse the baby? I used a bed room. My toddler couldn't get out and I could nurse the baby and he would play with his toys and sometimes we used nursing to read books. Most of the time he watched some tv. Gates kept him from getting in to trouble wile the baby was nursing. I had one between the living room and the kitchen and then one in the bathroom door.
    Did you nurse your older child? Some moms find that adding the 2nd baby is realy hard! Newborns just have to nurse all the time.Sometimes 12 times in 24 hours.
    It just takes a while to get to know your baby too, I think thats harder when you have a two year old around.
    Do you have any help around? Even somebody to bring in meals would help.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    929

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    Yes, you are making enough for your LO! I second the PP - it's a growth spurt. I also agree that you should get a sling and practice nursing in it. It will make your life so much easier. At 4wks my DS was in my arms 24/7 b/c if he wasn't he was screaming. It's frustrating, I KNOW! Some babies are just *higher needs* than others. It will get better!

    Jennifer
    Amazed and Proud mom of Luke (Lucas) - 4/5/2006; 9 lbs 12 oz , 22in
    Wife to best friend Carl - 11/4/2001

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,374

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    Quote Originally Posted by Loadsangel View Post
    I'm so frustrated!! My 4 week old son just isn't happy and I don't know what to do. He's actually crying in his crib right now. I don't know what to do to help him. He nursed for 45 minutes on one breast this afternoon, then fell asleep. I put him in his crib and he was crying a few minutes later. I nursed him another 30 minutes on the other side and he fell asleep. Then he woke up screaming just a few minutes after I put him in his crib!! I'm going crazy, I have a 2 year old that needs my attention too...what do I do? The baby did this same thing this morning too, and after nursing him a long time, he drank a bunch from a bottle from my husband then proceeded to spit up. I know I'm making milk because I can pump it out, and I can hear my LO swallowing. I know I must not be making enough, but what can I do? Do I seriously just sit in bed all day nursing him when there is nothing there for him to eat? Please help!
    They eat round the clock! You are making enough and going to bed is a GREAT idea. Although? I don't know how it will work w/ your older child... A sling or a wrap is a good idea for so you can move about and deal w/ your older child.
    Setting up an nursing station and trying to stay there for long periods of time IS the best idea and what works for a lot of us. Although, I don't have an older child yet. Could you while sitting and nursing have your older child "help you" by going and getting thing for you? Do you have the support of grandparents who could maybe support you during this time by taking the older child the park or on overnight visits during the week when your alone all day? Newborns are exhausting. Please remember he is working to regulate your flow. He MUST stay at the breast while he grows at this rapid pace to insure that your supply level keep up with his development. It's instinct. Things are happening just w/ brain development alone at an unbelievable pace right now!

    Try not to be frustrated with your LO or yourself! Your doing great!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,712

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    I also agree with the pp. My only other suggestion would be to have a basket full of goodies at hand to help with the toddler; games you can play while nursing, filled cups of water, milk, in the fridge s/he can grab, snacks, crayons, coloring pages, books you can read, remotes, play cd's with fun songs on it so s/he can dance for you and baby and always reward and give hugs for being a good, cooperative big sis/bro. Best wishes. You can do it. You just need to be creative.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    473

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    Hi, Hang in there, things will get better.

    Your LO sounds identical to my LO, just like we all have different personalities as adults our babies have those personalities too.

    I know this book has been recommended before, and it was a life saver for my DH and I, it's by Harvey Karp, MD and called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". Go out and buy a copy right now, or check your local library for one. It truly, truly changed the relationship I have with my DS, who's only 3 months btw. I will never forget those first few weeks, how he would scream, and scream for hours. There wasn't anything wrong, he had a clean diaper, had been fed, just took a nap, etc. Some babies are better self soothers than others and need some help in settling down. Swaddling tightly in a receiving blanket worked wonders for our DS, so does the Football hold (both are outlined in the book, as well as many other fantastic tips). There's another book by Sears called "The Fussy Baby Book".

    I will never forget one day when DS was about 6 weeks old, and he had a particularly rough day. Lots of screaming/crying fits and I couldn't handle it anymore, thankfully DH is a part time SAHD and I handed the baby to him and walked out of the room. I was balling and said to him "I just don't want to hold him anymore, I can't take it." I took a nice long shower, and recouped. Once your baby can get his hands to his mouth he'll probably settle a bit more, and around 3-4 months he'll be a lot better and you'll start to forget those particularly 'bad' days.

    Here are a few links about crying, and one for Karp's book:
    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-baby/PR00037
    http://dontshake.com/Subject.aspx?CategoryID=13
    http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-...e=UTF8&s=books
    http://www.amazon.com/Fussy-Baby-Boo...e=UTF8&s=books

    HTH

    My Little Reverse Cyclers
    *DS born July 2006, nursed 3 yrs 10 mos!
    *DD born January 2011, happily nursing and bucking the bottle just like big brother
    *One Angel baby we sadly never met July 2009

    Happily married to an amazing man who puts up with all my craziness since 1999.


  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,178

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    I'm so sorry things are going so difficult for you. I've been there...although my oldest had just turned 3 when my youngrst (now 7 mos.) was born. Like the pp's said, it is more than likely a growth spurt and baby is just telling your body to make more milk. It'll all even out in a few days.

    Your baby may have spit up after taking a bottle from your dh because (assuming its breastmilk) he was alreafy full from nursing so much. Babies have the ability to suck at the breast and not actively nurse(drinking)...comfort nursing...so if baby actually just needed Momma, and got a bottle, baby might take in too much, because baby can't nurse the bottle right to get out just what baby needs, it comes out alot faster, and many times they drink a whole bottle whether or not they're hungry for it...they suck and the milk comes out, regardless of whether or not they wanted to drink. Also, if it was formula and not breastmilk (in the bottle) that alone could've caused the spit up as its not as easily digested.

    I'm sure the p posters have mentioned this too, but with us, we got through it by camping out on the couch...me and my oldest and my youngest. I let the oldest watch tv during growth spurts and we read alot of books...those were things we could do together while nursing. I also asked him to "help" me with some of the baby tasks, like getting blankets and diapers, and that really helped him feel included. I also have found relief by getting pre-wrapped snacks for our oldest and storing them within his reach. Juice boxes and bottled water within his reach really helps too. That way, if momma's a little late with a snack or lunch because his baby brother is nursing nonstop, our oldest doesn't "starve".

    Some people are totally against pacifiers, but for us, they have really helped with a baby who needs to suck 24/7. I think its usually recommended to wait 4-6 weeks before using one of those, but if you become really confident that your milk suppy is well established, that is another option to help.

    The sling is also an excellent recommendation. www.mayawrap.com has a great ring sling and also offers low cost options on their website like patterns to make theirs or sales of gently used slings if cost is a concern. That website also has online videos about how to use their slings. The sling was a real lifesaver for us, especially if the boys and I needed to go shopping. Baby rode in the sling, our oldest rode in the shopping cart, and everything went great. Actually, shopping usually went incredibly well, and the baby seemed to cry alot less when we were out and about...maybe the sling and momma's heartbeat?!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,020

    Default Re: At the end of my rope

    Could he be teething?? I just had the roughest day so far yesterday with my LO!! He will be 4 months on the 9th of November and he was doing the same thing. Nursing...falling asleep then screaming and just unsoothable for the first time ever!! He had real tears and didn't stop crying even in my arms!! Lo and behold...he has 2 little stubs of teeth today. At least I figured out he didn't have a personality change

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