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Thread: Need weaning advice/sympathy

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Way too much to respond to everything individually...thanks for all the input so far, though, it is all helpful.

    Someone suggested doing dishes/cleaning during naps and bedtime. Problem is, DS really fights his naps, and some days doesn't nap at all. We start bedtime by 8 or 9 PM, but DS fights us the entire time (asking to nurse constantly along the way), and we're lucky if he's asleep by 11.
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    you need to change something. Because you are resenting the nursing and your husband isn't happy either. Maybe he does still need to nurse...my daughter is 21 mos and nursing right now and nurses 4-8x every night, too...going outside helps but the reality is we are home together quite a bit and she will always ask to nurse. Sometimes I can delay her another 30 min or so but she will end up with her nummies before too long.

    I read Dr Jay Gordon's method for night weaning here but don't feel like we're ready. But maybe your family is. My little girl has all her teeth but her 2 yr molars, too, and she still needs to nurse often (or likes to).
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  3. #13
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Sylvia, how much is your husband willing to do to help you out?

    My DH took over bed time when Lilah was that age. There were tears. But it was necessary as I was pregnant. Lilah also started going to sleep much earlier with Daddy for some reason.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #14
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    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Sylvia, how much is your husband willing to do to help you out?

    My DH took over bed time when Lilah was that age. There were tears. But it was necessary as I was pregnant. Lilah also started going to sleep much earlier with Daddy for some reason.
    DH tries to put DS down to bed, but he throws such huge tantrums to nurse, that DH thinks it's just cruel to refuse him, and gets on my case until I finally give in and nurse for the umpteenth time.

    It also doesn't help that DH is continuosly drawn to his computer throughout the night, and has a hard time staying focused on the bedtime routine. tbh, I feel the same pull sometimes, to be doing other things...We both would rather be somewhere else besides putting our boys to bed. If I start insisting that DH do the entire bedtime struggle, he's going to start (has already started) resenting ME for getting to go away and relax and enjoy myself while he's stuck with solitary bedtime duty.

    DS still seems to think that he needs to nurse to sleep. He doesn't fall asleep at the breast anymore (at bedtime anyway, naps are another thing), but he still tends to nurse within fifteen minutes of falling asleep most nights. I'd LIKE to push that to at least 30 minutes between nursing and sleep. Because the thing is, while DS initially falls asleep easier if he nurses, he actually sleeps longer and deeper when he doesn't.

    I suspect some residual reflux issues, as when DS was a newborn he would nurse to the point of overflowing, but then he would be uncomfortable so he would nurse more for comfort...If I could get DS to stop nursing before bed, I really think he would sleep better, and not be waking up so much to nurse in the middle of the night...
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  5. #15
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    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Sorry if this comes out judgementally, I don't mean it that way - BUT - you are home with those boys all day long all week long. I do not think it is unreasonable to expect your DH to participate in bed time. And he should not resent you for having some quiet time to yourself. He should be ENJOYING the time he is spending his his children - time that soon enough they will no longer want.

    Do you think you could break bedtime up into two parts - one where you nurse him and then DH comes in and you leave? And if DH is really all that concerned about DTD, then tell him he should be willing to work on getting couple time back for the two of you. It's not supposed to be all on you.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  6. #16
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    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Sorry if this comes out judgementally, I don't mean it that way - BUT - you are home with those boys all day long all week long. I do not think it is unreasonable to expect your DH to participate in bed time. And he should not resent you for having some quiet time to yourself. He should be ENJOYING the time he is spending his his children - time that soon enough they will no longer want.

    Do you think you could break bedtime up into two parts - one where you nurse him and then DH comes in and you leave? And if DH is really all that concerned about DTD, then tell him he should be willing to work on getting couple time back for the two of you. It's not supposed to be all on you.

    We figured out really early on that DH needed to give DD her bath. My mom basically told me that he had to help out in order to bond with her. So he does bath time a reads a few stories, I nurse her then he takes her potty and pats her to sleep. He also puts her on the potty in the morning and gets her dressed while he's getting ready for work. I work hard, too, but we're both her parents.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Now, obviously I am not in your shoes, but in my own life, the bedtime nurse would be a hard place to start. Joe loves his bedtime nurse SO MUCH. The daytime nursing - it's so much easier to distract him with something yummy, or a fun activity. And I find the constant demands annoying. So I've started there, personally. Of course, if it's the night time nurse that's bugging you the MOST, then start there. There will tears for a few nights at this age - 21 month olds do not take kindly to change, and that's a fact - but after a couple of nights, he'll adjust. I've had to watch my fair share of tantrums to get Joe used to not nursing ALL.DAY.LONG. But once I set my mind to it, and did it, it didn't really take that long for him to get used to it.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Sylvia, I just had a terrifying thought for you... do you think he's ready to give up his nap? I know that's not what this post is about at all - but it sounds like you're having a hard time getting him to nap and bedtime is really late. What time do you guys get up in the morning?

    Could you try to push through the no nap, get him to bed earlier and reclaim the evening for you and DH?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,944

    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Sylvia, I just had a terrifying thought for you... do you think he's ready to give up his nap? I know that's not what this post is about at all - but it sounds like you're having a hard time getting him to nap and bedtime is really late. What time do you guys get up in the morning?

    Could you try to push through the no nap, get him to bed earlier and reclaim the evening for you and DH?
    Good idea. Mine stopped taking naps around 2 and she falls asleep a lot easier if she doesnt have one.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: Need weaning advice/sympathy

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*babygirl05 View Post
    Good idea. Mine stopped taking naps around 2 and she falls asleep a lot easier if she doesnt have one.
    Joe is about half-and-half these days. But he goes to sleep so easily on the days he doesn't nap. Yesterday he came to me around 7:40 and made the sign for "sleep"! I'm pretty sure my jaw just dropped. Anyway, that was on a no-nap day. It can be really hard, but some babies don't need a nap every day.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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