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Thread: 1 week and already want to give up

  1. #1

    Default 1 week and already want to give up

    Oh my gosh. It gets worse? My baby hit a week old today. We had a terrible experience in the hospital (I didn't get him until he was over 3 hours old and they had already given him 2 bottles by then, despite knowing that I wanted to nurse.), my nurse wouldn't help me and he'd had 4 bottles by the time the lactation consultant finally came to see my the first day. I got him to latch for a little bit (he made a lovely hickey on my nipple) but my milk hadn't come in yet, so he gave up on that pretty quickly. Then he was taken to the NICU for blood sugar issues (I'm a type 1 diabetic so we were expecting him to have some issues with lows.) and the nurses made it pretty impossible for us to nurse in the NICU. I wanted to pump while he was there, but another patient monopolized the hospital's pump. I finally had my own brought to me by my sister on Friday (his 3rd night)and my milk started to come (I pumped almost 20 cc's the first time)

    Well, now he's a week old, has been getting bottles every feeding - sometimes formula, sometimes milk, and will not latch. His pediatrician said on Monday that she thinks the hospital nurses giving him bottles and paci's stunted his latching instincts.

    Our insurance doesn't cover lactation consultants and we're scraping by on paycheck to paycheck right now (but gross is too high for government programs - they don't care how much he's paying in child support for my step kids). I end up crying every time I try to nurse because he will not latch and he ends up hysterical. I can't stand to see my baby so upset!

    I want to nurse so bad. I always have. I had prepared myself to have to give him formula if my milk didn't come in. But it has. I pump 3-4 ounces several times a day (I'm still exhausted... sometimes pumping loses out to a nap). I was afraid my nipples would be the issue (they are inverted, and usually flat, but they harden up when I'm pumping, so I know they aren't really the problem.). It kills me that it's not working and I don't know how long I can fight this fight. Its absolutely the best thing for him, plus formula is expensive so that's a bonus. But this is killing me. I feel like I've missed out on so many precious moments with my baby because I'm miserable, feeling insufficient for my child.

    So at 1 week I already want to give up, like I'm already too far behind and missed the window. I can't even imagine being at 7 weeks and still in the battle.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: On the verge of giving up

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*teamgreentx View Post
    Oh my gosh. It gets worse? My baby hit a week old today. We had a terrible experience in the hospital (I didn't get him until he was over 3 hours old and they had already given him 2 bottles by then, despite knowing that I wanted to nurse.), my nurse wouldn't help me and he'd had 4 bottles by the time the lactation consultant finally came to see my the first day. I got him to latch for a little bit (he made a lovely hickey on my nipple) but my milk hadn't come in yet, so he gave up on that pretty quickly. Then he was taken to the NICU for blood sugar issues (I'm a type 1 diabetic so we were expecting him to have some issues with lows.) and the nurses made it pretty impossible for us to nurse in the NICU. I wanted to pump while he was there, but another patient monopolized the hospital's pump. I finally had my own brought to me by my sister on Friday (his 3rd night)and my milk started to come (I pumped almost 20 cc's the first time)

    Well, now he's a week old, has been getting bottles every feeding - sometimes formula, sometimes milk, and will not latch. His pediatrician said on Monday that she thinks the hospital nurses giving him bottles and paci's stunted his latching instincts.

    Our insurance doesn't cover lactation consultants and we're scraping by on paycheck to paycheck right now (but gross is too high for government programs - they don't care how much he's paying in child support for my step kids). I end up crying every time I try to nurse because he will not latch and he ends up hysterical. I can't stand to see my baby so upset!

    I want to nurse so bad. I always have. I had prepared myself to have to give him formula if my milk didn't come in. But it has. I pump 3-4 ounces several times a day (I'm still exhausted... sometimes pumping loses out to a nap). I was afraid my nipples would be the issue (they are inverted, and usually flat, but they harden up when I'm pumping, so I know they aren't really the problem.). It kills me that it's not working and I don't know how long I can fight this fight. Its absolutely the best thing for him, plus formula is expensive so that's a bonus. But this is killing me. I feel like I've missed out on so many precious moments with my baby because I'm miserable, feeling insufficient for my child.

    So at 1 week I already want to give up, like I'm already too far behind and missed the window. I can't even imagine being at 7 weeks and still in the battle.
    Aw! Would you mind posting your own thread? I'm afraid your specific concerns will get lost in this thread. I just want to make sure plenty of people see your post.

    In the meantime, I would definitely suggest seeing an LC. Like you, I was strapped for cash when my LO was born. But when I thought about it, I realized that the cost of formula for a year or more would be in the thousands, and a visit with an LC was $60! So very, very worth it. Try to look around for the best in your area - usually they will be an IBCLC.

    You can overcome all of the issues you've listed out! Sometimes it takes some determination. But frankly, the first few weeks of having a newborn are hard. I definitely remember feeling like I wasn't enjoying my new baby as much as I could be, due to breastfeeding problems, but when I look back, all I remember are the wonderful moments. Hormones are funny that way. And ... best of all ... I look back on two long years of breastfeeding, with the wonderful moments far, far exceeding the rougher times. So hang in there! And post your own thread!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #3

    Default Re: On the verge of giving up

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    Aw! Would you mind posting your own thread? I'm afraid your specific concerns will get lost in this thread. I just want to make sure plenty of people see your post.
    Karen
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    51

    Default Re: 1 week and already want to give up

    Hello mama,

    It will get better with some perseverance and in the end it will all be worth it. Some hospitals have a LC service for free, if not, I think that like PP said, it will be worth it to spend the $ now. I am so angry at the nurses in that hospital. Newborns don't need to eat right away, they just need the colostrum. They should know better. Shame on them for not listening to you and your desires to BF.

    Keep trying and be patient. I have read many threads here that deal with getting your baby back to nursing so I would suggest that you read about it as much as you can. There is also lots of videos and information online, so check that out too. It is a learned art and you and your baby have to work at it, but it is still early so you still have time. I know how frustrating it can be when your baby doesn't latch (it wasn't easy for me either) but you just have to keep trying. The bottle is being counterproductive, so try to stay away from it as much as you can.

    You have all of us here to support you so don't hesitate to ask questions or simply vent.

    YOU CAN DO IT MAMA. It is really hard now, the first weeks always are, but eventually it will get better and you will have rewards that last a lifetime.

    L
    First time mom to Little Luisa.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    717

    Default Re: 1 week and already want to give up

    Can you find a LLL Leader for some hands on help?

    Also, the LC at my hospital did follow up visits for free, well I think they were free. I never got a bill Call her and ask! I went back to see her after a month and she got me right in.

    1 week old is still so new! You can get this down!

    Have you tried expressing a bit of milk before you latch him on so he knows its there? My DS1 had latching issues, and unless he could taste that there was something there, it ended up in a crying hysterical mess!

    Also, try to stay ahead of his hunger cues. I found if my LO was overly hungry he would get frustrated easier. Try latching him on when he's drowsy or sleepy when he and you are nice and relaxed.
    Proud Mama to Noah Michael and Baby Charlie



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: 1 week and already want to give up

    You have come through a lot already, keep pushing through because you are doing it. It upsets me that you had such a bad hospital experience.

    I want to tell you not to feel insufficient. You are doing an amazing thing for you and your baby. You will look back on this an be so happy you kept going. You should be proud of yourself.

    Just work to get through each day and remind yourself how much you have done already. You are strong and a wonderful mom already. Do not allow any negative thoughts about yourself in. Just look at your little one when you feel down to remind yourself why you are doing this.

    You are doing it

  7. #7

    Default Re: 1 week and already want to give up

    Keep trying! I had some similar problems (though a much better NICU experience) and it has eventually worked out.

    I would say it is worth paying for the LC. Think about the cost of a couple visits vs. the cost of a year's worth of formula, as others have pointed out!! I paid for one visit from an IBCLC and it solved a lot of my problems. If you really can't afford it, maybe a mom's support group in your area where you can get help from BTDT moms?

    Some things that worked for me were:
    --definitely try to feed him before he's angry!
    --if you can't hand-express (as jezebel suggests), dribble some expressed milk onto your nipples with a syringe before trying to get him to latch
    --I used a nipple shield at the suggestion of the LC at the NICU. He weaned himself off it at about 3 1/2 weeks.
    --I don't know if this is an IBCLC-approved method, but try pumping for a few seconds right before you feed him. It sort of inflated my (small, but not flat) nipples and gave him something to grab onto.

    Keep working on it! You and he will hopefully figure it out together!!

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