Way too lazy for formula
Sorry I don't have any advice for you but I wanted you to know...
I am in the same boat only my DS will be 9 months soon. He eats every 2hrs at night. and every 3hrs during the day. I am exhausted all the time. I can't nap in the day bc I have a 3yr old.
I feel your pain bc you said you have to deal with 60! kids! OMG I have just these 2 and can't get crap done around the house. nor do I want to grocery shop, take my 3y/o to the park or do ANYTHING. I just don't so well with little sleep.
How much do you get when you pump? I get about 2oz a breast. Makes me wonder if he is only getting 2oz each feed.
I try to get him to drink from a bottle to see how much he will drink but he won't except any type of nipple at all. He bites them and will not suck from it. Same with sippy cups.
When I feed him solids he gets very constipated and has hard painful poops. He cries, turns red and gets sweaty. Baby cereal and upping solids isn't a option for me.
Hi OP :hi It seems fair to say that LLL and Babycentre espouse different parental values. LLL is known for gentle baby-centred parenting so the responses here will generally reflect the values of the community.
I hear you that it is very difficult, especially with an older child and being back at work! It sounds like your expectations were shattered. I had a problem with this too, I initially resisted some of my daughter's cues because I was culturally instilled by a formula-feeding culture that babies didn't need so much attention, and giving it to them was spoiling them. Then I just looked at my daughter, and at her dismal weight gain on the fourth day of her life, and threw those books and those ideas out the window. But I had a privilege you didn't, I had just one child, a long paid maternity leave, and no previous expectations set up by an elder child. My heart goes out to you It's tough.
Did that Babycentre article have any scientific basis to point out? Who was their expert author or consulting panel? Let us also keep in mind that experts are sometimes wrong, and very exceptionally are fraudulent. Unfortunately, I think some parenting sources are out there specifically to appeal to desperate parents: telling people they can have an easier time sells books. It doesn't necessarily equate to a healthier and happier mother-child dyad. However, your mothering instincts and a 'heart check' are always right on-spot
I will quibble with some of the words said here, and point out that if your mental health or (ex. workplace, driving, etc) safety can be threatened by lack of sleep, and we should all remember that everyone has their limits. Our limits and needs are to be respected, regardless of being a parent or not. As a mother and survivor of postpartum depression, I know when I began listening to my limits and respecting them the dark clouds began rolling away. Ultimately, mama, you know what is right for you and your baby. Check with your heart and know you're doing the right thing
I don’t recommend any forced sleep changes during the first year of life. Probably the only exception to this would be an emergency involving a nursing mom’s health. There are many suggestions in books and magazines for pushing “sleeping through the night” during a baby’s early months or during the first year. I don’t think this is the best thing to do and I am quite sure that the earlier a baby gets “non-response” from parents, the more likely he is to close down at least a little.
Have a look at STTN:
You might get some relief from safe so-sleeping. I couldn't have managed without it. My DD woke me up frequently, but I was always well-rested in the morning, and DH too, so it worked for all of us.
Storage capacity is not determined by breast size, although breast size can certainly limit the amount of milk that can be stored.
Also, I'm not an expert but Pantley wrote that 5hrs rather than 4 is STTN. For the record, DD is only now sleeping soundly beside me (14mos) and I'm positive it's because pregnancy sapped away most of the 'good stuff' and her repeated efforts weren't rewarded (sufficiently) sleep became more appealing. Well, okay!
Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?
But I am speaking to capacity. I could hold at least 8oz of milk. Although he never drank that much in a sitting. But breastfed children drink until they are done. Not all that their mothers can hold. So my point is that I don't think even if you have the capacity to hold TONS of milk that you will be able to tank your child up and get them to sleep longer than they will when left to their own devices.
Way too lazy for formula
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Yeah, My 21 mo old nurses more than that. I do know some babies sleep through the night earlier but it depends on the baby and the mom. My baby doesn't hold much milk in her tummy at once (even if I gave her my milk in a bottle when she was young) and my breasts don't hold much milk at one time, either. It translates to pretty frequent nursing.
Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.
I am sorry I don't have any advice and haven't even read all the replies, but I wanted to say, even though it may not be what you want to hear, that our two docs, ones sought after in my area, said night time feedings are normal and should be maintained if LO still needs them, and that BFing 8-12 times/day at SIXTEEN months old (which was what my LO was at the time, and still is now) is also normal and actually advisable. So I think 12 times/day at three months is perfectly normal.
I do understand that you're exhausted mama.
First time, SAH mom to my precious daughter born October 2009
Nursing 27 months and counting... I still love nursing so much and am SAD thinking the end can come anytime now...
And STTN does come at a different time for every baby... my first baby didn't STTN consistently until she was about 17 months old. And no, I did NOT do CIO or any kind of sleep training on her. My second baby started STTN every now and again much earlier, again no CIO or sleep training. They are all different and will do it when they are developmentally ready for it.
IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003
Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09
Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.
Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.
Btw, The first 2 months he ate all the time at night. At three it was more like 3x a night. At about 4 months only twice. Around 5 months once at night and has stayed that way until just recently when he started sleeping through the night at the end of 8 months. The person who wrote this must only be a doctor... because a doctor whose had children would know this by personal experience.
I have a relatively high "storage capacity" which is how I managed to pump only twice a day for nine months and bring plenty of bottles home, but my baby nursed every two hours, or often every hour, all night long, for basically the first 17 months. Now he just nurses a few times per night, and life is much improved. I agree with PPs - banish the entire IDEA of sleeping through the night from your head, and instead just do what YOU need to to get enough sleep, and you will be happier for it.
IMO, it's more about your child's temperament than anything that you do. Some babies are just really light sleepers and like to have that contact and comfort from mom frequently. Others sleep more deeply and can go longer without it.
I found that going to bed earlier, and safe cosleeping with my baby, kept me rested enough to work well and function well, despite the frequent night wakings.
You can call me JoMo!
Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.