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Thread: Alternatives to nursing in public

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    I do nurse her before going out.Last week I went to meet a counseller at college. I nursed her before we left the parking lot and we were there in line for 20minutes .She was on baby carrier and the minute I reached his desk she started asking mlk mlk pulling my shirt. There were so many people who can clearly understand what she is saying.Its just when she is bored she thinks nursing will get my attention. She doesn't understand if I say wait.She keeps pulling the shirt till I feed her. And she thinks its funny to do that b'cos my DH and DD1 laughs hysterically when she does that.

    Thanks for all the suggestions
    Mangai

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*m.mangai View Post
    I do nurse her before going out.Last week I went to meet a counseller at college. I nursed her before we left the parking lot and we were there in line for 20minutes .She was on baby carrier and the minute I reached his desk she started asking mlk mlk pulling my shirt. There were so many people who can clearly understand what she is saying.Its just when she is bored she thinks nursing will get my attention. She doesn't understand if I say wait.She keeps pulling the shirt till I feed her. And she thinks its funny to do that b'cos my DH and DD1 laughs hysterically when she does that.

    Thanks for all the suggestions
    Mangai
    Yep, I think Joe asks to nurse in public sometimes because I'm paying attention to other people (heaven forbid! ). If I pay attention to him in other ways, that often helps, but then I can't pay attention to the people I'm trying to visit with! I think boredom/attention nursing is the trickiest to address.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*m.mangai View Post
    I do nurse her before going out.Last week I went to meet a counseller at college. I nursed her before we left the parking lot and we were there in line for 20minutes .She was on baby carrier and the minute I reached his desk she started asking mlk mlk pulling my shirt. There were so many people who can clearly understand what she is saying.Its just when she is bored she thinks nursing will get my attention. She doesn't understand if I say wait.She keeps pulling the shirt till I feed her. And she thinks its funny to do that b'cos my DH and DD1 laughs hysterically when she does that.

    Thanks for all the suggestions
    Mangai
    Sometimes a snack can help in these situations. Or trying to make them feel like they are included in the conversation (as annoying as that is).
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Sheesh
    I didn't realise I was setting myself in for such a mouthful about how horribly wrong I am. I don't think biting is "absolutely intolerable", despite how you all are saying the disciplining is for the better of the relationship you're making it sound like the child is doing something malicious. My son doesn't bite hard, he has only once bitten very hard and I did put him down on the bed when he did that but only for about 30 seconds. I take him off the breast and tell him and that's all I feel is necessary because I don't feel like leaving him to cry and suffer when he's already in terrible agony and needs to be close to his Mama. That's WHY he's nibbling, after all.
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tarantamom View Post
    I don't think biting is "absolutely intolerable", despite how you all are saying the disciplining is for the better of the relationship you're making it sound like the child is doing something malicious. My son doesn't bite hard, he has only once bitten very hard and I did put him down on the bed when he did that but only for about 30 seconds.
    Joe DID bite hard, hard enough to leave toothmarks, and even so all I did was put him down and refuse to nurse for a few minutes. I know it wasn't malicious - he was only five months old at the time, but he learned cause and effect pretty quickly. Now he never bites me.

    Nibbling or gnawing might be a different matter.

    I only mentioned it because I don't want new moms to think that long term breastfeeding requires that you deal with your baby biting you. It's not that I thought you needed to do something you're not, but I know a lot of moms hear things like, "You'll breastfeed him until he gets teeth, right?" and the idea that children bite their moms can discourage women from trying longer-term breastfeeding. When I said it was "intolerable" I meant that no one HAS to tolerate it (well, also, I meant, wooo-eeee, it hurts! ). Not the right choice of words, perhaps.
    Last edited by @llli*joe.s.mom; April 27th, 2011 at 06:01 PM.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    ...It's not that I thought you needed to do something you're not, but I know a lot of moms hear things like, "You'll breastfeed him until he gets teeth, right?" and the idea that children bite their moms can discourage women from trying longer-term breastfeeding. When I said it was "intolerable" I meant that no one HAS to tolerate it (well, also, I meant, wooo-eeee, it hurts! ). Not the right choice of words, perhaps.
    Misunderstanding *peace*
    The one time O.O. did bite down hard it did REALLY hurt, and the gnarwing does too but I'm just trying to curb it through a bit of a gentler approach...and trying to calm his pain before it gets so bad too. When he has been really nibbly I easily too just pass him to his Dad for finishing off his feed with a bottle of expressed milk, and he didn't seem to like it very much. Not that he minds eating with Dad at all, he likes it just fine, but he HATES the interrupting of a feed lol (that old commercial I saw o'er there, the "don't bother me, I'm eating", springs to mind..) I've done it a couple times for my own relief but I may do it for a disciplinary measure in the future if it pans out to be effective when those #&@*%^ teeth actually cut through lol
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  7. #27
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Might be a terminology thing. I don't see interrupting a nursing session because my LO is biting me (or doing other annoying and/or painful things) as a "disciplinary" measure but part of teaching my LO that their actions can (often unintentionally) be painful/harmful to others. I start teaching my LO when they are very young "gentle" or "soft" touches when they are trying to pet an animal or touch a plant or touch other people. Teaching them to stroke with an open hand instead of grabbing a handful of fur (or hair). So for me, teaching to be gentle while nursing is closely related. Even if baby isn't biting "on purpose" I do not need to accept being bitten. And yes I (and I'm sure others) DO offer baby other ways to soothe sore gums from teething.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tarantamom View Post
    Sheesh
    I didn't realise I was setting myself in for such a mouthful about how horribly wrong I am. I don't think biting is "absolutely intolerable", despite how you all are saying the disciplining is for the better of the relationship you're making it sound like the child is doing something malicious. My son doesn't bite hard, he has only once bitten very hard and I did put him down on the bed when he did that but only for about 30 seconds. I take him off the breast and tell him and that's all I feel is necessary because I don't feel like leaving him to cry and suffer when he's already in terrible agony and needs to be close to his Mama. That's WHY he's nibbling, after all.
    Don't feel attacked. That isn't what any of us are trying to do. But hear us. I was trying to get you do better understand WHY you were getting advice which based on your post, seemed to make no sense to you. Obviously your baby isn't maliciously biting you at this point. But IMO biting out of boredom isn't much better and your baby is only going to get MORE teeth. I have heard horrible stories of what women with older babies have endured due to NOT setting clear and firm boundaries early. That's it.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    I am a huge advocate of nursing through challenges, but biting does hurt. My DD bit -with chompers - and drew blood. It hurt so bad I cried nursing her while it healed. And she went through a time where she bit out of boredom and for a reaction. So yes, I had to handle that firmly. I think the point is that you can be firm and still loving. And just because a behavior is normal and there is a developmental reason for it, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't work to stop the behavior. And for some babies, it means ending a nursing session for a while.
    This. Exactly.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    The other folks said it better, but in my opinion, setting necessary limits with breastfeeding now will allow me to continue breastfeeding in the long run. Right this minute, my baby doesn't always love these limits. But after putting him down after biting once or twice, he didn't do it anymore. So just a few "firm" moments have allowed me to nurse into his second year.

    At five months, Joe of course did not understand reasoning or explanations, so stopping the nursing session immediately was the "gentlest" way I could imagine to get my point across that biting the nipple that feeds you is a bad idea! Now, if I tell Joe that something hurts, he totally gets it, so I use reasoning more. And that's usually what I use when he wants to nurse in public and it's not a good time, etc. I explain and distract. Different techniques work at different ages.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Mangai when DS was that age and I was nursing a newborn DD in public he did not understand why she could and he couldn't at all. The only thing that really worked for me was a special snack. I found something he really liked and responded to, and he only got it when he was being told no to NIP. Maybe something like that would help. Our magic treat was fruit bars. He hadn't had one before and man he was on that like white on rice.

    Also my kids loved the sippy cups with the flexy straws like this. It's the only cup they would both take at first. They also liked chewing on the straw and playing with the flip close part so it was a toy and a sippy all in one. We did have to keep offering for a while before it clicked though.

    Both of my kids were clothes pullers as well. I just made sure I always had layers so if they got aggressive with the pulling, I wasn't flashing anything

    I hope you figure something out that works. It's not a fun phase.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

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