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Thread: Alternatives to nursing in public

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Mangai!?!?! How did I miss that you had another BABY!?!? Was there an announcement here?? OMG!!!

    Way too lazy for formula

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Mangai!?!?! How did I miss that you had another BABY!?!? Was there an announcement here?? OMG!!!
    No announcement since hardly anybody know me here. I didn't post anything in breastfeeding section because I didn't have any problems with nursing her.But I did post right after I tested positive .

    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=67966 and couple more
    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=96622.

    Thanks for asking
    Mangai

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    HA! I didn't know. Congratulations!! I like you even better now. I love it. Just nonchanlantly start talking about the baby we didn't even know you had. I LOVE IT.

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    I try offering water and snacks first, and if DS2 still insists he wants to nurse we just do it with as little fuss as possible. I do insist he asks nicely, and I do tell him we need to go look for somewhere to sit (now he'll take me by the hand and lead me to a bench while saying "milch milch milch pease"), and he needs to stay latched on (popping on and off will end a nursing session) and keep my breasts covered.

    Summer is still a couple months away - and there can be a HUGE difference in the behavior of a 16 mo old vs a 18 or 19 mo old. I'd start working on nursing manners and setting whatever limits you want as goals. Might not see results immediately, but hopefully should "click" for the toddler in the next couple of months.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jbean1979 View Post
    my LO (16 mos) doesn't really respond well to "nursing rules" quite yet ...
    I'm glad to hear other people say this. A couple of people on here have suggested that I try disciplining my son for biting during nursing and I'm having a really hard time wth it, esp because I know he doesn't mean to, as he only really does it when he's in a lot of pain teething. (which breaks a Mama's heart!!! aaagghh) but I do pop him off and look at him and tell him in a serious (but calm) way, "Osrid, don't bite Mama, it hurts me when you bite. Please be gentle and we'll start again in a few seconds, OK?" It usually works for at least a few minutes. I don't expect too much though because he has a very short attention span, but I am proud of him for responding to it...but yeah, I don't really feel too great about the idea of putting him down for a couple of minutes at this age or trying to teach him things like not pulling my shirt down ect yet.
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tarantamom View Post
    I'm glad to hear other people say this. A couple of people on here have suggested that I try disciplining my son for biting during nursing and I'm having a really hard time wth it, esp because I know he doesn't mean to, as he only really does it when he's in a lot of pain teething. (which breaks a Mama's heart!!! aaagghh) but I do pop him off and look at him and tell him in a serious (but calm) way, "Osrid, don't bite Mama, it hurts me when you bite. Please be gentle and we'll start again in a few seconds, OK?" It usually works for at least a few minutes. I don't expect too much though because he has a very short attention span, but I am proud of him for responding to it...but yeah, I don't really feel too great about the idea of putting him down for a couple of minutes at this age or trying to teach him things like not pulling my shirt down ect yet.
    Does your 6month old pull up your shirt?
    I don't think "Nursing Rules" which are really LIMITS apply to a 6month old. However the OP baby and the person you quoted have OLDER kids. And past a year a huge part of the dance in terms of continuing is teaching your child that it's a RELATIONSHIP and that relationships are about the needs of TWO people not one.
    That said, BITING can erode a breastfeeding relationship at ANY POINT. Because it erodes the trust and can actually cause the mother damage. And when that happens she sometimes can not continue. I have seen mothers of children under one have to move from Breastfeeding to exclusive pumping because they couldn't get past the biting. So if you are having issues with a biter at 6 months it's really in your best interest IME to react to that in a way that lets your child no it's NOT OK. And if you don't think he has language yet, often putting him down, stopping, walking off, or other other things are the BEST WAY for them to learn that. So people telling you that and how to nip it in the bud really have your best interest in terms of protecting your breastfeeding relationship. It's hard to nurse when your nipple has been punctured.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    That said, BITING can erode a breastfeeding relationship at ANY POINT. Because it erodes the trust and can actually cause the mother damage. And when that happens she sometimes can not continue. I have seen mothers of children under one have to move from Breastfeeding to exclusive pumping because they couldn't get past the biting. So if you are having issues with a biter at 6 months it's really in your best interest IME to react to that in a way that lets your child no it's NOT OK. And if you don't think he has language yet, often putting him down, stopping, walking off, or other other things are the BEST WAY for them to learn that. So people telling you that and how to nip it in the bud really have your best interest in terms of protecting your breastfeeding relationship. It's hard to nurse when your nipple has been punctured.
    I agree with this 100%. Nursing manners are different - at least in terms of what i was referring to, than biting. My son bit me exactly three times. And I was seriously nervous to nurse during that time. And it was right around six months. They may not have words, but they do get actions. I ALWAYS put him down and said no firmly. He would cry a little bit, but he got it quickly. I'm sure it has to do with teething, and he's not doing it to intentionally hurt Mama, but he still needs to know it's not okay. I had visions of a severed nipple and would flinch every time i felt his teeth. Now, he looks up at me coyly when he's done nursing and pretend bites me and smiles. He knows very well that's not okay. It was important for me to get that message to him quickly because I found myself not wanting to nurse and being resentful of him hurting me, and i didn't want that to be a long lasting experience.

    Anyway, when I was talking about nursing manners, i was talking more about demanding to nurse right here, right now (or else!) or yanking up/down my shirt so my belly is exposed for all to see. That's the nursing manners we're still working on. And since we're not quite there yet, although i totally understand not feeling comfortable nursing in public with a toddler -- I usually think that people will find it a whole lot less "offensive" to see my boob than listen to an all out toddler fit, kwim? (And ideally, IMO, I would get over myself and worrying about what others found offensive if i'm providing nutrition/comfort to my child, but i'm not quite there yet.)
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yoginimama View Post
    I nurse before we leave. I also do it in the car.
    That's what I do too. I can't nurse my 18.5MO in public anymore because she's too active when nursing, and I'm very small and can't deal with all her movements when nursing in public. If the trip in the car is long I even try to nurse again in the car when we just arrive.


    First time, SAH mom to my precious daughter born October 2009
    Nursing 27 months and counting... I still love nursing so much and am SAD thinking the end can come anytime now...

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*expat-mum View Post


    It's not "discipline" in the moral sense, like your baby is doing something wrong or evil. It's lovingly correcting a behavior that, if allowed to continue, would ultimately UNDERCUT love.
    very well put.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Alternatives to nursing in public

    I couldn't agree more with the PPs wrt biting. Joe got teeth early, and thus, bit me early. I reacted by unlatching him and walking away (partly to recover my cool, bc that HURTS!). Call it discipline or setting limits or whatever, it was NECESSARY. Biting is intolerable! No one should be expected to just put up with it, IMHO. OW!

    Now, asking to nurse in public (or in general, asking to nurse when I don't feel like it) is a behavior that can be annoying to mom, but it's not actually painful and it won't draw blood, etc. So my approach to this has been more of a "long term" effort. I gently try to distract or say "we'll do that later, honey, would you like a sip of water?" but if Joe is really desperate (usually because he's hurt himself or he's feeling overstimulated or shy), I will try to work with him. Sometimes I just nurse him discreetly - other times I take him to another room to nurse. But in setting those limits, I make exceptions for times when he is really distraught.

    DJ's mom really made me feel clearer about these limits - I do limit Joe's "boredom nursing" but I make exceptions for when he's really sad and clearly needs some comfort. As he gets older, I expect he'll understand limits like no NIP better. Right now, we're at 75% for that one. Joe still nurses in public occasionally, but it is getting less common.

    But biting? Joe knows that's a QUICK way to get kicked off the breast. Just yesterday, he latched on too aggressively when I had PMS, and I squawked in pain, and he looked at me like, "Oh no! I'm SO sorry! I didn't mean to!"


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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