Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 35

Thread: Resigned...

  1. #21

    Default Re: Resigned...

    Well, when I posted this, I was resigned to feeding him 3 oz. of formula. After tonight, I am resigned to giving up altogether. I just cannot take this screaming at my nipple every time I try to feed him like I'm forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. It's breaking my heart and it's the most demoralizing experience of my life. I've never felt so inadequate, so incapable, and like such a failure in all my life.

    I've fought to breastfeed for 6 months against skeptics and critics who didn't think I could - or needed to - do it. It's been my connection to my baby when I can't be with him during the day and our connection after a long days absence. It's the one thing I can give him that noone else can. And he just doesn't want it. Or me. Every time he does this, it makes me feel like I don't have a bond with him that I want so badly. It makes me want to retreat like I'm investing in this little being that isn't going to share the bond with me that I want to have with him.

    It makes me sick to my stomach to stop after making this commitment to him and to myself and after investing 6 months and intending to go a year or longer - something I was so proud of.

    I spent the whole night crying about this. I feel like I'm poisoning my child by not breastfeeding him but I feel like I'm dying inside everytime I have to go through the trauma of these episodes.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: Resigned...

    I am so sorry for you...you are working so hard for your LO. Can you just pump then and give him bottled BM??

    Can you contact your local LLL leader and attend a meeting? SOmetimes hands on help where they can SEE whats going on might do the trick?

    In your first post it seemed that baby was choosing breast over bottle, now he is choosing bottle over breast? It still sounds like nipple confusion to me. Baby gets a faster flow and its much easier to eat from bottle then nipple. You are working and there is no way around that, not your fault. Have you experimented with bottles? Ones that are more like BF??? I am sure some working moms here have bottle advice for you.

    Hang in there....you have made it 6 months and that is a great accomplishment!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: Resigned...

    ive just read this thread..
    6 months is a great accomplishment! I'm so sorry you're feeling so rejected. I have felt the same way during a nursing strike. Could this be a kind of nursing strike? I think his age is prime time for that to occur.... Take it a day at a time, you may feel differently soon. Could you pump to maintain your supply while he is refusing the breast and otherwise and try to enjoy cuddles when you are together or if you are feeding him with a bottle? I know there are many mamas here who have gone through strikes (even very long ones) who might share some more support. Hang in there!

    Thought I'd post this link, but you probably already have seen it:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  4. #24

    Default Re: Resigned...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*oakdryad5 View Post
    ive just read this thread..
    6 months is a great accomplishment! I'm so sorry you're feeling so rejected. I have felt the same way during a nursing strike. Could this be a kind of nursing strike? I think his age is prime time for that to occur.... Take it a day at a time, you may feel differently soon. Could you pump to maintain your supply while he is refusing the breast and otherwise and try to enjoy cuddles when you are together or if you are feeding him with a bottle? I know there are many mamas here who have gone through strikes (even very long ones) who might share some more support. Hang in there!

    Thought I'd post this link, but you probably already have seen it:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html
    I'm just concerned that I am not going to be able to pump enough milk to provide bottles for all day and all night. If we can get him to sleep more and not wake up so often, I might be able to but the only way to get him back to bed is nurse him or give him a bottle. Last night, he wanted more milk than he usually does and I had to dip into today's bottles and I only have 3 stashed...so it really sent me into a panic, hence my meltdown.

    I keep asking God for help and I say a little prayer as soon as I put him on my boob and just as I'm asking God to help me provide the nourishment for my baby, Jax starts screaming. Makes me feel like God isn't listening to me. I'm not asking for a car or money. I'm asking to nourish my baby. I guess this shows how unreasonable and irrational I'm becoming and how much this whole ordeal is affecting me and my state of mind.

    After literally breaking down sobbing and passing LO off to my husband (who was working on a project for work due in the morning) because I just couldn't take anymore, LO fell asleep in his stroller. We let him sleep there with the stroller at the foot of our bed. He awoke around 1AM and I brought him in the bed with me (something he doesn't ever allow...hates the bed..just screams usually) and he laid beside me and nursed and then coslept with me and nursed all night. WTH? I'm so confused.

    I know it's an unusual analogy, but this relationship is like having a love affair with someone who is playing mind games with you. Arrghh...

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Resigned...

    I'm sorry. But it sounds like you had some good nursing all night long. That's a positive thing!
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,056

    Default Re: Resigned...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*desertchildaz View Post
    If I skim the cream off one bag, won't that deplete that bag's caloric value, rendering it useless? Sorry, this is a new practice that I've never heard of...
    Yes, so you would either throw it away or use it to make homemade purees. That's why I wanted to ask about your overall pump output - I wouldn't suggest it if you didn't have a good stash already, or couldn't easily generate one.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*danlynclark View Post
    I agree with the double cream breastmilk bottles. But I don't think its safe to add formula powder to breastmilk. It needs to be mixed with water according the measurements listed on the package.
    Usually, yes. But you can add small amounts of formula powder to expressed breast milk to increase its caloric density.

    I found this link: http://www.cpnonline.org/CRS/CRS/pa_forminst_pep.htm

    I of course wouldn't do this w/o discussing it w/ your pedi, which could probably be done on the phone.

    And to PP about the slippery slope of formula: normally I would totally agree. But what I was talking about was adding formula powder to EBM bottles he is already taking, since it seems as though he was having trouble taking in enough volume to meet his needs.

    Glad you had a better night though! I'd take it one day @ a time at this point. Maybe one day he'll wake up and be all, what's the fuss about - give me the boob!
    Little SW, Aug '09
    Miss MW, Jan '11
    Sir RW, Oct '12
    3 kids in 38 mos

  7. #27

    Default Re: Resigned...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jeno View Post
    Usually, yes. But you can add small amounts of formula powder to expressed breast milk to increase its caloric density.

    I found this link: http://www.cpnonline.org/CRS/CRS/pa_forminst_pep.htm

    I of course wouldn't do this w/o discussing it w/ your pedi, which could probably be done on the phone.

    Glad you had a better night though! I'd take it one day @ a time at this point. Maybe one day he'll wake up and be all, what's the fuss about - give me the boob!
    Thanks so much for the advice on adding formula powder to expressed breast milk to increase the caloric count. I will definitely talk to my pediatrician about it.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: Resigned...

    I'm so sorry you had such a hard night.

    Six months is fabulous! And no matter what you decide, you've done amazing work getting here.

    I noticed you are in AZ. Are you interested in hooking up with a local LLL group? PM me. I know an amazing local leader you could call.

    Adding the formula powder to ebm sounds like a good plan.

    KUP.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  9. #29

    Default Re: Resigned...

    Let's say that this issue has to do with a forceful letdown or a slow flow. How would I be able to tell which of the two it is?

    I have never felt a let down.

    However, when baby fusses like this, I will often squeeze my nipple to see if anything comes out. When I do, the milk squirts out like a rocket. (But only if I manually express it.) Could this indicate a forceful let down? Maybe that's what is making him mad?

  10. #30

    Default Re: Resigned...

    Christine - I will respond to your pm shortly. Let me start by saying that we had a GREAT weekend! not one screaming episode and not only did we nurse nurse nurse but we coslept ever night. I managed to get 3 hour blocks of sleep and pump several bottles over the weekend.

    So, we have remarkable improvement! Let's see how the rest of the week goes...

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •