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Thread: Planning to pump exclusively

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
    Posts
    3,113

    Default Re: Planning to pump exclusively

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    My second baby was quite a surprise to me. We weren't planning on having any more and it took me quite a while to get over the fact that I was pregnant. I can't remember when I got over that, but I bet that when your baby is born that you will love him. I'm pretty sure it took almost until the end of my pregnancy.

    Sorry, no advice on EPing.
    , I didn't bond with baby number 2before she was born. I really didn't But I did within a couple of hours. I hope the same applies to you.

    There are definitely moms on here who have EPed for over a year (including a twin mom ) so it can be done and keep coming here if you have any issues or questions. We would also love to know how you get on.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,086

    Default Re: Planning to pump exclusively

    Having a good quality pump and getting started with a set pumping schedule right away are both key. Here is a list of links to articles that you might find helpful.

    Also we have an exclusive pumping forum here you might want to browse through some of the old threads or post one of your own there to get more btdt advice.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,941

    Default Re: Planning to pump exclusively

    It took time till after my 3rd was born to bond with her, but that was becuase my daughter before her was stillborn at full term. It was impossible to bond with my next preg cause I made it to the end of a successful preg and ended up with a dead baby. I fully and completey wanted all of my babies, but just emotionally couldnt bond with the preg like I did beofre stillbirth completely changed my life. And the fear of a repeat stillbirth was heavy on my mind. After she was born alive and well, I was in shock, numb, a whole array of feelings because I never got the chance to do antying with my previous DD. I felt happy to have Mirnada but like I was somehow betraying Maya. My situation is compicated situation for sure.

    Anyhow, hoping for the best for you and your baby.
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Planning to pump exclusively

    I have a TON to say, but I'm on my iPod so I will be back when I'm not stuck to a pump and trapped away from a decent keyboard.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Planning to pump exclusively

    OK. I hope I can get out what I need to say before the computer crashes. We are having computer problems.

    Anyway. My first child...he was a totally unplanned and UNWANTED pregnancy. I cried my eyes out when I realized I was pregnant. I didn't like children. I didn't want children. Bonding...yeah, right. I never felt a connection with him. I chose what I chose during the pregnancy, not for his benefit, but for mine. I figured I would breastfeed for 6 weeks, because that's what you do, and then I would stop.

    Odd thing, I grew up in a family where the norm is to breastfeed, and to breastfeed for a couple years. But I wasn't interested. I didn't like this baby. It was ruining my life. I didn't want to do any of this.

    And then he was born. I did nurse him, in an effort to save my life -- I was bleeding to death, and the midwife had me nurse in an effort to help stop the bleeding while she arranged to transfer me to the hospital. I didn't see him for a couple hours after that while I was in surgery. Didn't want to see him. I was fine with not having a baby with me. I didn't want to even take him home..

    And then....I marveled at him a few hours later, when he was asleep. When the chaos settled down, I was out of danger, and I was overwhelmed with amazement, I found I was interested in him after all. I had had a baby. And he was MINE. I found I wanted to nurse him after all. So I figured I would "try it." And see what happened. I could always quit. But I knew if I quit BFing and changed my mind, it would be incredibly difficult to go back to BFing once I stopped.

    Then the problems started. 8 long weeks of struggles. I cried and planned to quit every day. I had bad PPD. He had various issues. But we overcame, and I nursed him -- me, the lady who didn't want any kids and was not planning to breastfeed or even pump! -- for two years.

    Fast forward 6 years. Baby #4 (!) was born, and he has a cleft lip and palate. He cannot nurse well enough to thrive. He was 24 hours old and I learned had to pump.

    This is one of the WORST THINGS that has ever happened to me, and there have been some pretty bad things in my life. I will outline the disadvantges to EPing.

    1. The pump rules all. I live by what time is it and whether or not it's time to pump. I don't get a full night's sleep; I have to get up to pump even if the baby STTN (and on nights where I've skipped pumping, he wakes up anyway). I can't go to the park with my kids because I might have to pump while we are there, and who is going to watch them? I can't go for the day alone with the kids to the museum because what do I do with them while I pump? I have other kids. They do things while I'm tied to pumping, even with a hands free bra and the hands free pump.
    2. Feeding and pumping at the same time is complicated. Worse...when the baby wakes up just after I've pumped and wants to eat, so then I'm totally tied up for about an hour. Or longer. And then it's often time to pump again as soon as that's all done. All day. All night. I find I have hardly any time to interact with my other kids. I homeschool them, and that's gotten really quite difficult to do because of a severe lack of time.
    3. Washing. I only wash everything once a day, but I do a lot of washing. Hand washing does a much better job, so I'm washing up. And then it takes a lot of space on my countertop.
    4. It's cost a fortune. Not just the pump, the pump rental, the bags. The membranes, the extra valves, the other stuff you need as an EPer adds up.
    5. And it means I haul along a TON of stuff. Pump, bottles, cover, bra, bags, etc. Everywhere. In addition to diapers. And the bottles. I needed to buy a new bag to carry it all in, and the bag still isn't big enough.
    6. Then what do you do when the baby is crying and you haven't had a bottle made up or baby drains the bottle you have and you have to refill it? Baby is wailing while you put together a bottle. It's very much not discreet. I never had babies cry like that before. I hate it. Baby needs YOU.
    7. Babies want to be with their mother. Well, when you are pumping, that's hard to accomplish. I babywear, which helps, but I can tell there is a big difference between the mothering this baby is getting and the mothering my older kids got.
    8. Talk about not being able to bond....well, at first, all you are doing is pumping, feeding, changing and pumping again. There's NO TIME to bond when you are EPing. That comes later. I actually considered giving Gavin up for adoption at one point because I was so overwhelmed with the pumping and everything that I couldn't bond with him, and I knew he deserved better than that. It doesn't always stay that difficult -- now that I've been able to go to pumping every 3-4 hours, it's a little easier -- but I know I only stuck with it because I have a goal in mind to breastfeed this kid post-palate repair.
    9. There are several really good reasons the WHO considers pumped milk a distant second to being fed at the breast.
    a) breastmilk composition changes during each feeding to provide baby with what he needs at that minute. That can't happen while you pump.
    b) nobody knows exactly how that change is signaled, thus, you can't imitate it with a pump. You can do things to keep your supply up, but you can't change the milk, and when you freeze it, it changes too. It's just not as good as fresh milk from the tap. It is second best. Far better than formula though. Far better. I'd rather see a mom EP than FF if she can, but it's better if she BF than EP.
    10. Baby is deprived of a very human experience. Babies, IMHO, deserve to be nurtured at the breast if at all possible.
    11. Parenting is a series of selfless events. I'm not saying parents have to give themselves up, but quite often, parenting involves making choices we don't like to do what's best for the kids. It's not about being attractive or whatever. It's what is doing what is best for the kids.

    I have in the past struggled with too much milk. Pumping...this time...I had an oversupply, I got really sick and lost my supply, rebuilt it, but now, I'm breaking even with a little extra (about 8-10 oz a day). Normally, I have enough milk that I never worry about it, and my babies thrive. And I have four really good pumps, I know how to maintain a supply, and I work hard. And I still struggle to make sure I have enough, to make sure I work in enough sessions (really hard when you have other kids!), make sure I pump long enough at each session, have my hands free to do compressions, that kind of thing. But no pump is as good as a baby at stimulating a supply and maintaining it, so it is a lot more work to keep a good supply.

    Also, we lost our power for a day. That was scary! I had a hand pump, so I could pump, but we had to buy a generator to keep the freezer frozen. Wouldn't have ever been an issue if I was nursing.

    I suffer from chronically sore nipples. Two IBCLCs and I haven't been able to solve it. I suspect I will have to live with them until I quit pumping.

    You have to be obsessive, to some extent, to make EPing work. It's far, far more work than I ever thought it could be. And I had counseled women in regards to EPing in the past.

    If you are bent on EPing, there are a couple good communities on the net geared to the EPing mom. A few tips though:
    figure to spend AT LEAST 120 minutes out of every 24 hours pumping.
    At first, don't go more than 2 hours between sessions. Seriously, that's worse than nursing a baby. You can't sleep through sessions while you pump. I slept through nursing my other babies. I've never been so tired in my life.
    Use breast compressions. You can't just sit there and rely on the pump's suction. I recently stumbled on a research study that showed that moms who do that lose their supply early
    Get sized for your horn size. Many women find the 24 mm is too small.
    Rent a hospital grade pump
    Pumping bra and nursing cover so you can pump in public
    Buy a portable pump
    Get some extra membranes, valves, etc

    Good luck!

    ETA: As far as advantages....I haven't been able to find any other than my particular baby, one who could not nurse, is able to thrive But if he was able to nurse, there would be no advantages. If I wanted to pump and leave a bottle, I could. I worked PT while nursing my other kids. I would leave a bottle. It wasn't a big deal. Instead, I'm too tired to work -- I'm a veterinarian, and life and death decisions sometimes rest on my shoulders, so I must be well-rested -- because I have to get up in the middle of the night, I don't have anyone who can help me feed the baby most of the time, and it's just not nearly as helpful as some articles make EPing out to be.

    Oh, and I feel less sexy than EVER before. Like a cow! So it's killed our sex life. And some recent research has pointed out that bottlefeeding mothers -- formula or EBM by choice -- have less of a bond with the children fed that way. Breastfeeding really does promote a strong bond, which might be something to consider since you feel like you don't have a bond with this baby. It might help change that, to just try. That's what happened for me with my first baby.
    Last edited by @llli*aprilsmagic; April 24th, 2011 at 02:51 PM.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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