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Thread: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    52

    Question Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    Hello everyone...I was wondering if you all could give me some suggestions. DS is 5 and 1/2 months old. I was thinking about putting him in his own room but in truth, I don't want to give up my nighttime snuggle sessions with him. DH is afraid to sleep with us in the same bed for understandable reasons. And I've been reading a lot more recently about family beds and they all say that DS should sleep between me and a bed rail. But logisitically I'm not sure what the entire night would look like for us. Right now, we have the whole bed to ourselves and when we go to bed I lay down next to DS and he nurses on one side until we're both sleeping. When he wakes up for night feedings, I will switch sides with DS so that he can nurse from the other breast. My question is that I'm not sure how to do this without at some point putting DS between DH and myself. Does anyone have any suggestions? OR can someone describe what the co-sleeping situation looks like at your house? I work full time and I am loving co-sleeping with DS but I miss sleeping with DH.
    Love being a mom to DS
    Love and helps keep my sanity.
    at work is annoying but worth it for DS.
    helps me feel closer to DS since I'm away during the day.

    with my Hubby who is currently in remission from Leukemia. Everyday is a blessing!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,570

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    If it is at all possible, I would try to include your DH back into the sleep situation, especially if you plan to co-sleep long term. There are ways to nurse from both sides where you don't have to move the baby to the other side of you, so you would nurse from the breast on the opposite side than the side you are laying on, if that makes sense. It really is not uncomfortable once you get the hang of it. I just sort of turn so that I'm almost on my stomach, I bring my leg up and sometimes rest it on top of baby's legs, she never seems to be bothered by that. Like I said, you might have to practice a bit, and I don't usually fall back alseep in that position, but DD2 has always been a pretty quick nurser and so she usually just eats for a bit and goes back to sleep and then I go back to lying on my back. That would at least solve the problem of needing to move the baby to your other side.


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    780

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    DS2 sleeps in the middle, but he is almost 18 months and dh is a light sleeper. When he was smaller he slept between me and a sidecared crib. I have lopsided breasts so to make its work, I lay with the smaller one down and then when its time to switch, I just roll a little and lean so he can reach the top on. With my breasts it only works if I am laying on my right side.
    Mommy to 2 little boys!
    DS1 11/1/07 BFed 7 months
    DS2 11/6/09 BF 2 YEARS! and counting!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,940

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    I have the bedrail on my side of the bed. DD sleeps on either side now. It doesn't really matter. But when she was little I would move her around more. If I fell asleep with her on DH side somehow I always knew when to kick him to move But I used to always sleep with her cradled in my one arm. So if he was too close I'd feel it.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    52

    Thumbs up Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    I definitely never thought of doing this...I wonder if I could make that work. I'll have to try tonight but I am rather large breasted (40DDD) so I wonder if DS will be able to breathe with all that weight on top of him...I'll see what I can finagle. Thanks Guys!!!
    Love being a mom to DS
    Love and helps keep my sanity.
    at work is annoying but worth it for DS.
    helps me feel closer to DS since I'm away during the day.

    with my Hubby who is currently in remission from Leukemia. Everyday is a blessing!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    My DH was nervous about smushing baby too, but he took to it like a duck to water. Now he loves co-sleeping and even with #2 on the way he wants to keep #1 in our bed. It was pretty easy because mothers are light sleepers and I knew when DH got close to smushing baby on the first couple of nights, now he has adjusted and automatically sleeps more lightly too, although he's just as well'-rested. I notice his eyes opening in the night but he doesn't remember--he's between sleep cycles. Once your DH feels a tiny hand placed trustingly on his arm or back he'll just melt...

    We keep a crib on my side as a bed rail, but in general LO sleeps between us. Try at first to keep LO on your side so your DH has time to adjust to the idea and gain confidence. But safe co-sleeping says that if he's a heavy sleeper, taking fatigue-inducing medication, alcohol etc. or is not the biological parent (isn't that interesting?) then it's better not to co-sleep. http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/safe.html
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  7. #7

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    Wow... I'm in a very similar situation!

    My DD is almost 6 months old and has been sleeping between my DH and I. I've always slept with my arm over her head so I'd feel if DH was too close. This has been working wonderfully, and I'm so glad and so grateful for the experience. I mean, cuddling next to her all night, waking up to see her face first thing every morning, and smiling when people ask me if she sleeps all night yet because I never look at the clock when she needs to nurse! It's so great! Only now she is moving a LOT more and since DH wakes up at 5am to go to work, I'm worried about her falling off the bed and need to find a bed rail ASAP.

    I'm in the Montreal area and don't really know where to get one. Could I please get some advice, or maybe a site where I could order a rail from?

    All I can find are some toddler or children bed rails and I'm not sure if they'd work on a queen sized bed? Also found this thing, does anyone know about it? http://www.gobedbug.com/GOPAGES/infantcosleep.htm She wiggles quite a lot and is an expert turner now so I'm worried she'd just roll over this ledge thing!

    I have a crib for her in the room we made for her... though I mostly use it for playtime and really don't feel like giving up co-sleeping just yet! Please help!

    Thanks in advance!!
    - Maxine

    Proudly , , cloth , and her little Rosalie Blanche

    Loving every minute of motherhood - even the not-so-fun ones!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Far away
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    2,448

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*rangersmom View Post
    I definitely never thought of doing this...I wonder if I could make that work. I'll have to try tonight but I am rather large breasted (40DDD) so I wonder if DS will be able to breathe with all that weight on top of him...I'll see what I can finagle. Thanks Guys!!!
    It is a bit harder, honestly. I currently have 38 FF/Gs and I have to push down on my breast to keep it from squashing into DD's nose. For this reason, I do switch sides on the bed (but my DH is not in bed anymore as he is with DS in a different bed.)

    When DS was little, we used a rectangular-shaped pillow (that is, the pillow was like a long tube in a rectangular shape - so there was a large 'hole' in the middle of it) to contain him between DH and I. It wasn't a suffocation hazard because it wasn't very smooshy and air could get underneath as the pillow wasn't very wide. I bought it from Target. I'll see if I can find it...
    Andrea - mama to Laith 02.20.07 and Sommer 01.21.11
    'Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.' - Noam Chomsky

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    67

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    We've always slept with ds between us or between me and the wall but when he was an infant I slept basically curled around him and I slept really lightly.
    SAHM to Timothy 8-8-08 Keegan 4-27-11 and Rowen 3-27-13

  10. #10

    Default Re: Co-Sleeping How To with DH

    One problem we have is that we don't have the possibility to push the bed against a wall with our layout.

    So far, I've seen bed rails, round cushions, this expensive cushion blanket thing (http://humanityorganics.3dcartstores...y-sleeper.html)... I like the idea of the big tubes you can strap on the mattress (http://www.snugtuckpillow.com/theproduct.html), I'm just really scared of the idea that she could just crawl over them some day without me noticing! I don't know if this could happen, seeing as I'm a light sleeper too... but I'm terrified of her falling off the bed.

    *sigh* This might seem silly, but I can't get the idea out of my head since she started turning and I'd love some opinions.
    - Maxine

    Proudly , , cloth , and her little Rosalie Blanche

    Loving every minute of motherhood - even the not-so-fun ones!

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